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Full Version: What were my emotional triggers and what made me gamble escape from people &life
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Hi

In time I would learn each of my emotional triggers.

My emotional triggers were 

My pains not healed


My fears not faced

My frustrations due to expectations

My Loneliness

My Boredom

My emotional triggers would cause me to escape people life and situations when I could not cope emotionally.

Each time I went back to my addictions or obsessions was a lesson to learn from.

A spiritually healthy sponsor would help me learn from my past yet not live in it.

A spiritually healthy sponsor would not bully or manipulate me, a healthy sponsor would not push his beliefs on me, healthy sponsor would not take any responsibility for any kind of  success I did in my recovery.

I am a non religious person yet understand by practicing spiritual values would strengthen me, and strengthen my own conscience.

When walking in to the recovery program I did not think that I would find a healthier life by my own healthy actions and my healthy words.

I thought people in the recovery program would not understand me because I did not understand myself.

I did not understand that fear inhibited me in so many ways.

I did not understand that my fear were a consequence of the pains and trauma of my life that was unresolved and unhealed.

For me the recovery program is a program of healing from the pains of my past.

The recovery program was going to help me heal my hurt inner child.

My every action of sulking told me that my hurt inner child had not matured in to an adult.

My walking in to the recovery program was a door to finding healthy living.

For every unhealthy habit I needed to exchange each on to a healthy habit.

I am often asked if you have not gambled in such a time why attend meetings.

For me the addictions or obsessions was a symptom that I was emotionally vulnerable.

With out me going to and seriously working my recovery I would have never have found out how unhealthy I was.

For me the recovery program was going to get me motivated in healthy ways.

I would stop living in the past and get focused on today, writing down my lists of my needs my wants and my goals each day.

The ideal situation is to be emotionally detached and healed from the gambling establishment.

To not love them, to not hate them, and not fear them.

Did I really think that if I got easy money would make me successful.

Did I really think that being angry was a healthy way of getting things done.

Did I really think that being late was a healthy way of getting things done.

Did I really think that money would heal my hurt inner child.


Did I really think that money would make me happy.

Did I really think that material things would make me happy.


Did I really think that the world stopped me from being successful.

When was I last angry and why.


When was I last angry and why.

When was I last impatient and intolerant and why.

Did I procrastinate and fail to face my fears.


How much time and energy do I waste today.

I was for sure a victim, by acknowledging that fact I can do something about it.

I was for sure a perpetrator, by acknowledging that fact I can do something about it.

I was for sure a rescuer, by acknowledging that fact I can do something about it.

Am I selfish in my recovery today, am I self sufficient in my recovery today.

What holds me back from taking on new goals.

It took me over forty percent of my time in the recovery program to find out I had a hurt inner child not healed.  

It took me over forty percent of my time in the recovery program to find out that my emotional age and my physical age were not the same.

It took me over forty percent of my time in the recovery program to find out how much more I could become productive in healthy ways.

It took me over forty percent of my time in the recovery program to find out how how to  communicate and articulate myself in healthy ways.

I am not willing to say that I will never gamble again, to say that would indicate that I do not have any emotional triggers any more, to say that I will never gamble again would indicate my hurt inner child is completely healed, I know that the first seven years of my life are still a trauma to me.

I no longer want or need vengeance in my life today.

I no longer want or need anger in my life today.

I no longer want or need hatred in my life today.

no longer want to escape to my addictions and obsessions today.

The serenity prayer helps me to interact with all people today.

The serenity prayer helps me understand that I am not able to change or control other people today.

The serenity prayer helps me understand that I am able to change and resolve my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations in my life today.

That is some thing I am able to change my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations in my life today.

I use to say that people life and situations in my life stressed me out.

Stress is fear based, anxiety is fear based, panic is fear based, avoiding emotional intimacy is fear based, how much is fear holding me back today.

To stop being the victim I needed to speak out for myself. to have a voice based up on peace.

Just for today I will not gamble is a boundary for myself.

It is only just for today only, not facing my whole life at once.

Just for today I will not gamble is setting slow steady baby steps.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham