Gamblers Anonymous Forum

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Where do to begin. I have been with my partner for several years and love him unconditionally. A year or so ago I found out that he was a gambler. He showed great courage to disclose this following a conversation regarding finances. I wrongly read his bank statement to discover that he had gambled £xx in three months. Following this, he blocked the online sites and spoke openy about it. Time past and we fell back into normal life and routine. Recently he has been inconsistent with his contribution towards the bills I asked if I could see his accounts to reassure me that he is being honest and he responded that he would give me his bank card and all the cash that he earns and that is all he is prepared to do. He has declined to explore one to one support and reported that the reason for this was because he did not need to. I explained that it would be useful to see his account to enable to work together as a team. We are going round and round. He becomes defensive and the situation becomes emotionally draining. I don't want to leave but at the same time I do not feel that he is ready to accept support. How do I proceed?
Hello Anon. Takes a great deal of courage to do what you are doing by seeking help. Kudos for taking that big step. Your partner should be in Gamblers Anonymous which can give him all the help he needs and wants. But sad to say if he doesn't want the help provided by GA there is little that can be done by you or anybody else. He has to want help in order to get help. But that doesn't prevent you from getting help. Suggest you check out the Gamanon program which is for the family and friends of the compulsive gambler. There you will learn how to deal with your partner and the addiction. But above all you will learn how to protect yourself because the compulsive gambler will go to any length in pursuit of his addiction. Give Gamanon a try, meetings all over England. Just show up, no reservations needed. Wish you the best. LewB.-Woodbury Monday
(10-12-2019, 10:36 PM)LewB Wrote: [ -> ]Hello Anon. Takes a great deal of courage to do what you are doing by seeking help. Kudos for taking that big step. Your partner should be in Gamblers Anonymous which can give him all the help he needs and wants. But sad to say if he doesn't want the help provided by GA there is little that can be done by you or anybody else. He has to want help in order to get help. But that doesn't prevent you from getting help. Suggest you check out the Gamanon program which is for the family and friends of the compulsive gambler. There you will learn how to deal with your partner and the addiction. But above all you will learn how to protect yourself because the compulsive gambler will go to any length in pursuit of his addiction. Give Gamanon a try, meetings all over England. Just show up, no reservations needed. Wish you the best. LewB.-Woodbury Monday
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my entry. My spouse showed his account tonight as I told him that I had to leave him with the hope that he would indentfy stragies to self exclude. My spouse is now claiming that he is prepared to do anything from the 5 year block to total control over the finances. I highlighted that if he did not comit to these claims he would have to leave. He has agreed and an to do them tomorrow