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Full Version: Just for today I choose to understand my emotional triggers and of my vulnerability
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On entering the recovery program I felt threatened by the mention of religion and God.

I sadly was not able to stop escaping to my addictions and obsessions from day one.

Yet each time I went back I was asked what was my emotional trigger.

Sadly it felt like the addictions and obsessions controlled my life.

I did not understand that recovery is a healing process.

The mention of spiritual values confused me, I understand that each time I went against spiritual values I was hurting myself and other people.

I use to fear questions, I felt threatened by any kind of question.

The first time I opened up to a person about my emotional vulnerability I expected the worst.

The first time I opened up to a meeting giving a therapy helped me grow my trust in the meetings.

My emotional triggers were my pains, my fears, my frustrations, my loneliness and my boredom.

Today I understand that my deep seated fears were due to the pains in my past that were not healed.

I use to be angry and confused all of the time.

Now today it is difficult to remember when I was last angry.

The rage that came out of me was my hurt inner child lashing out and not getting any healing or resolves.

Yes my rage helped me understand that my inner child needed to be healed in a slow healthy manner.

Having a healthy sponsor is a two way street, it is self rewarding to both people.

A healthy sponsor will be tolerant nurturing and encouraging.

An unhealthy sponsor will be a bully and try to manipulate you, sadly he will even try to take credit for your progress.

A healthy sponsor will not take any credit for your progress, he will try and get you to give your self compliments, to even reward your self.

There is no doubt in my mind that my recovery was a very slow process in the beginning.

That my recovery was a very slow baby steps day by day.

Sadly procrastinating is a very unhealthy habit which needs to be resolved.

Today what are my needs, today what are my needs, today what are my goals.

How committed am I to my growth and recovery today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham