Gamblers Anonymous Forum

Full Version: My partner
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.

star123

Hi all,

I am in such a predicament. I love my other half very much, we have been together nearly 4 years and mostly very happy. But he has major gambling problems, as soon as he gets money in his bank account it is gone. He knows he has a problem, and I thought we had worked it out by me looking after his cash card, and ID and giving him odd bits of money when he needs it.
But the problem is if we have an argument, he demands it off me and then for example, a lot of money gone into his bank today and its all gone now. It really upsets me. We both work so hard, but for him to give it all to the bookies.
He works at a bookies too, which funnily enough he is fine with and he quite enjoys the job, but if something upsets him, he gets angry about something he is straight to the bookies (obviously different ones to where he works).
Because he works in one he is reluctant to attend meetings, presumably a lot of his customers will be there and recognise him, and know one apart from me knows about the huge problem he has. Thing is one day I want a mortgage, kids etc but dont know if this can work?
Any help appreciated?

george23

Hi Jessica

I'm the one that's the gambler in my relationship. I'd say we have a pretty good one, I've got my money he has is. However, I've been compuslive gambling for the last 7 years, online gaming. I've always told my other half and he does help me, as I've wanted help. I've cancelled all my credit cards and my debit card, got new ones and he looks after them. I've got a gambling block on my pc and I've been to counselling. I've been on and off gambling and unfortunatley I fell off again after an arguement! I went off to the bingo for the day and played on the slots untl they made me ill! Following that I've been online and I stopped myself midweek, however I started again just to see if I could get my money back. I did and more. However, I find the more I win the more I want and my husband went to bed early last night andI've been up all night squandering my winnings, plus spending more money as I've lost, big time, again, I feel ill, lack of sleep and regret!

The thing is if you don't sort the cuase of the gambling it never goes away, its there forever! Its very hard for me as I'm wanting a family and i've spent all my savings over the years. However, I'm still doing it. My dad is also a gambler an I've heard some shockers where he has spent thousands, he's battled all his life.

The thing is there is no easy "quick" fix, it won't just go away on it's own it takes a lot of time and commitment. I would recommend you discuss things with your partner and look at the solutions that are out there, meetings, conselling to try and find the cause. The key thing is to talk about it.

A gambler will always find a way, even though they may not want to gamble, once the "gambling monster" takes over that's it, you become somebody else untl its too late and there's nothing left.

I've wittered on a bit here, sorry, I do hope you can work through this. I have to say everything I've said is purely based on my experience and opion.

I wish you well

PS My next step after this is starting a new day and starting again so here I go again, Day 1...