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  Humbling myself is about being honest to myself, I was emotionally vulnerable
Posted by: gadaveuk - 15-10-2019, 05:14 AM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi
Humbling myself is about being honest to the truth about myself, I was not evil, I was not a bad person, I was not a stupid person, I was just emotionally vulnerable.
At the mention of being humble I thought it meant I had less value than ever one else.
Humbling myself to the honesty about myself empowers me.
The recovery program is about healing, I am a non religious person yet I do embrace spiritual values.
The addictions and the obsessions were ways of me escaping people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.
The healthy people in the recovery program would help me see myself in others through therapies.
If I am humbled to be equal to all people then if they can achieve so can I.
The recovery program is very much like mountain climbers who start off lacking confidence filled with fears are helped in to making healthy safe choices and learn to make healthier choices and have improved skills.
I am often asked why it is that to this day I attend usually two meetings a week.
The recovery program is very much like learning to take slow daily baby paces in my new found skills.
Why do people decline from using the telephone lists, is it fear, is it lack of confidence, is it lack of us valuing our self, is it fear of appearing weak and vulnerable, is it fear that we will hear some thing we do not want to hear.
As my time has become more productive my confidence has grown, my value of myself  has grown, I do not fear failing, in fact I now understand that if I do not even try I am failing myself.
The pains of my past became my fears I did not understand.
My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, another trigger were my fears not faced, another trigger were my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, another trigger were my feelings of loneliness, another trigger were my feelings of boredom, that any thing I did was not work while.
In the last three weeks there certain jobs that I was not very confident in, that made me doubt myself, with each one once I started my confidences increased and my fears reduced.
I am going to make a made to measure table for my wife, I am looking forward to doing the job.
I look forward to doing talks at a recovery center, I enjoy questions and interactions, I want people in puts, I want people to feel that they are having some in put.
In the recovery program there are healthy people who are sponsors, they will not bully people or manipulate people, healthy sponsors will be tolerant and patient with people, healthy sponsors will not take any responsibility for another person progress.
In time I have heard people say to new members you have to do this, or you have to do that, sadly by directing talks directly at new people will scare them away.
When I was first in the recovery program I was emotionally traumatized, I was so much so I wanted to hide.
I use to fear the telephone, I use to fear the postman, I use to fear people coming to the house, I use to fear people seeing me go in to meetings.
I use to fear step four, I use to fear being honest, I use to fear being accountable, I use to fear letting my wife know that I was emotionally vulnerable.
I have often people say that the reason we gamble is just excuses, they will nto accept that they have certain emotional triggers.
Is it important to know why we gamble, for me yes very much, once we understand our emotional triggers only then we can do some thing about them.
I use to fear Christmas I use to fear the dentist, I use to fear the tax man, I use to fear apologizing, I use to fear rejection and abandonment, I use to fear being myself.
Once I see myself and feel myself in other people therapies, I can relate to those people.
Often after a very stimulating meeting people will talk after meeting very late.
There was at least a couple of times that my sharing afterwards went on to 11pm or later.
When we can relate to another persons sharing it helps our recovery even if we do not understand how.
I use to think that because I was non religious that recovery would not work for me.
That was not true.
When was I ready for counselling, once I had no fears about talking of every unhealthy actions and painful trauma if my life.
Humbling myself is empowering.
Humbling myself to the honesty of myself means I am less vulnerable.
In the recovery program I would learn of my full potential if I put work in to myself.
I am a very selfish person today.
Every minute and hour working my recovery has given me so much benefits in being the most productive healthiest spiritual person I can be today
Yet I give of myself unconditionally expecting noting back in return but pride and self worth.
Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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  New to here but not gambling
Posted by: Heather - 13-10-2019, 09:55 AM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hello, so I am new to this site but not new to gambling. I feel very hollow inside and can’t believe I have  done it again. My husband found out and was very abusive to me, although I don’t blame him. He then plastered it all over Facebook, and threatened to tell my employer. I went into work and told them everything. So when he did ring they we’re expecting the call. They have told me they will be supportive of me every step of the way. I have spent the last few days opening up to my family and again they have said they will support me every step of the way. My husband has been sending me threatening emails and texts, I have blocked him on all of these, but last night I got another text through from an unknown number which started off pretty nasty, it soon became apparent that it was my husband, I could tell by the wording it was him.
I don’t know what to do, I feel I should go to the police but knowing him that will just fuel his fire and make things worse. I guess all I can do is keep blocking him. I know I will have to pay consequences as the money I used came from his business account. So should I take myself to the police station. My mind is doing somersaults at the moment. I do not want to hide  from this and will stand up and take whatever I have coming to me. 
I have tried to explain to him, I don’t do it because I enjoy hurting him, I do it because it is an addiction. I have asked him to go onto gamcare of which I have been a member for the last 3 years and take a look at some of the stories then he may understand the extent of this addiction.
I don’t know what to do, any advice please

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  What did I need to admit to myself on walking in to the recovery program
Posted by: gadaveuk - 13-10-2019, 06:23 AM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

On walking in to the recovery program I did not understand that I was living in fear and panic.
I did not understand that my addictions and my obsessions were a form self abuse and escaping people life and situations because I felt so emotionally vulnerable.
I am a non religious person and over time with the help of like minded people I would gin faith and hope in myself and in my recovery.
It was not enough for me just to read text, I needed to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Only by abstaining from unhealthy habits could I stop hurting myself and start the healing process.
On walking in to the recovery program I did not value myself I did not value money and I I did not value other people.
Each time I said to myself oh who cares any way was the instant I was giving up all faith and hope in myself.
At what time do I admit to myself that I am unhealthy.
At what time do I admit to myself that  my addictions and my obsessions were a complete waste of time and my energy.
The gambling establishments never hurt me, I hurt myself.
The gambling establishments never made me do some thing that I did not want to do.
The gambling establishments never hurt other people, I hurt them myself.
A time came when each day was very slow baby steps, to change from being unhealthy to become healthy.
My days before my recovery were very much fear and panic.
On day one in the recovery program I did not think that I could achieve success, I did not think that I could achieve new goals.
It took me along time in the recovery program to write down my needs, to write down my wants, and to write down my new found skills.
People  do not understand how much fear limited us in every day life.
There were so many fears I use to juggle them all and not able to focus on one fear.
The recovery program was a manual to healthy living, the recovery program was not going to do the work for me, only when I gave the same amount of energy in to my recovery would I over come feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Feeling emotionally vulnerable did not mean I was a weak person.
The recovery program was about healing my hurt inner child.
The recovery program was about me learning each day I can make much healthier choices.
Me being in the recovery program I would find out that as a child I was a victim.
I would find out that being in an addiction or obsession I became a perpetrator.
Why was it as a child people picked on me in so many ways.
Why did not pick pick on other people,  because other people were not as emotionally vulnerable as I was.
I did karate for two years it took me two years to learn that I feared aggression and confrontation.
My fears of aggression and confrontation came from my parents anger towards each other which was before I was even seven years of age.
To stop being the victim I needed to speak up for myself.
To be healthy to speak up for myself from a place of peace.
If  you meet aggression with aggression things become very unhealthy and cause further pains.
There was the wording that people are negative people, is that true.
For me I understand that people who are angry are people who were victims that never healed from their past.
I use to say to myself that I wanted justice, it was not justice I wanted, I wanted vengeance, not the same thing.
It  took me time to learn to write things down, to get clarity and focus, by writing things down I remain completely focused on things today.
The recovery program would help me heal my hurt inner child, recovery would help me live from the past and not live in it.
The recovery program would help me learn to articulate myself in healthy ways.
The recovery program would help me learn to heal and cry for my hurt inner child.
The recovery program would help me learn to be more patient and tolerant with myself.
In time my fear of failure reduced, my fear of the opposite sex reduced, my fear of emotional intimacy reduced, my fear of abandonment and rejection reduced, my fear of being honest reduced, my fear of family gatherings reduced, my fear of feeling ignorant reduced, my fear of feeling inadequate reduced, my fear of commitment reduced, my fear of having cash on me reduced, my fear of trust reduced, and my procrastination reduced.
Who or what did avoid facing or dealing with.
I have been to graves so that my pains could be healed and my fears were faced, I have been to places where horrific things happened to me.
I have become some one who I am proud to be today.
Learn from our past, do not live in ti.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L


AKA Dave of Beckenham

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  6 months on
Posted by: Amy - 10-10-2019, 06:25 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Ok so back six months ago found out my husband was a sever gambler. He had taken out a fortune in my name £**,***. And more in his. We went though an extremely tough summer. I began opening his letters which was an eye opener found out he had soo much more that when asked he didn’t have a clue about. His gambling had escalated. That much that he had forgotten what he had taken it was chaotic behaviour and he’s lost total control of normality. He was chasing the rainbow which at the end wasnt gold; unfortunately 6 months in and despite full support from not only me but my parents he was caught again I won’t go into detail but he was gambling again not on my account. Again he was caught out.
The response I got was the worst part away from all the money. He told me he did it because I was monitoring his money. I asked why again and we have supported you for 6 months and got to some sort of place. His response was devastating.  I don’t feel a thing for you and I don’t love you any more. 
After 16 years of being together 12 years married two children he walked away. 

I received two further letters last week. One from Scottish Power he stopped payments in December??? 
The other one wanting to take goods from house only to the value of ***. He’s still burying his head in the sand and living in a spare room at his mums flat . 

He’s left me to sort all his and my finances open his post which he can’t now intervene  and support the house and children. 

I hope anyone reading this will think a little About the impact it has on other people. My girls are a mess, one wetting bed first time ever and she’s 8. I’m on steroids now as that poorly with stress and run down. Got a 14 year old who cries and her life has just been blown apart. This part of her life is soo  impressionable and he’s taken it away. He’s in hiding. It’s just really sad as he had it all.

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  What do I get from working my recovery program.
Posted by: gadaveuk - 10-10-2019, 01:20 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

I am a non religious person yet take the recovery program very seriously.
For me the recovery program is a healing process.
With every pain in my life came fears I did not understand.
With each bet and with each drink and obsession I got weaker and weaker.
Before the recovery program I was willing to give up all faith and hope in myself.
What feeling or emotion drove me to gamble, what was the driving force of me escaping people life and situations.
One can argue it is adrenaline based, that risk taking gave me a high, I thought it was exciting and that life was boring.
In time I would understand that I was not a bad person, that I was not a stupid person, that I was not worthy of beating myself all the time.
When in action I was causing myself harm, I was in effect working for nothing and giving m money away while I and my family went with out.
Thinking that the next win would make me feel successful in myself, that was not true it was a lie I kept telling myself.
What I did not know that every painful experience I have been through that the day I walked in to the recovery I was a survivor.
So by going to meetings what happened for me.
Well no one could stop me gambling, that had to be my own conscious choice.
Just for today I will not gamble was for today only, just one simple day.
By abstaining from one unhealthy habit I was refraining from causing myself self abuse.
Nothing healthy is gained by living in the past, so the recovery program was going to ask me to write things down.
To expose more of myself, what are my feelings and my emotions, how can I communicate in much healthier ways.
Every unhealthy habit I exchanged in to healthy habit made me more productive.
Abstaining on its own was not enough for me, I needed to use my free time in to getting more productive.
Abstaining and sitting around doing nothing is doing hard time.
The person that limited me from getting things done was myself.
Is procrastination fear based, is it lack of confidence in myself, is it lack of commitment in myself, is it the fact I am not worthy.
I use to organize ten pin bowling for the people in recovery.
I organized discounts for our group it made it cheaper, I had the date I had it all organized but required a deposit.
The majority of people paid on the day of the games, was that procrastination.
Every one enjoyed them self so much they wanted to leave ten pin bowling and go and have a coffee and some thing to eat.
The games were very healthy, as an outsider you would have never have guessed that all those people who were all laughing and joking had suffered some horrific experiences in their lives including me.
As we chatted ate and had a non alcoholic drinks people came alive and were very stimulated.
Before my recovery I was for sure a loner, I use to put on a mask to hide the hurt child in me.
Sadly by having such high walls of fear to protect the hurt child in me, I was in effect stopping myself getting out and interacting with other people.
Before my recovery I was a very angry over sensitive person.
Before my recovery I had certain emotional triggers, pains that were not healed, fears that were not faced, frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people lief and situations.
Before my recovery another emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy.
Before my recovery another emotional triggers were my feelings of boredom, I was not productive and feared failure, hence I would even try.
Had I not stuck with the recovery program I would be who I am today.
For me the recovery program I would need to put more time and effort in to my recovery than I put in to my addiction and my obsessions.
The healthy people in recovery program would ask me to take slow baby steps.
The healthy people in recovery program would nurture and encourage me.
The recovery program was never going to try and control my life, no it was going to encourage me to become healthier in every way possible.
How can living in fear in any way be healthy.
A few nights ago I had a dream I had won a very big bet, I use to have these dreams over many years.
The dream did not unsettle me.
I use to have cold sweats when I had dreams of gambling I thought I was going mad.
In the old days I use to I wanted justice, it was vengeance I was asking for, not the same thing.
I use to be angry all of the time, old ladies counting pennies at the till, long line of people at the cinema.
I have difficulty remembering when I was last angry.
My patience and tolerance with other people tells me I have more patience and tolerance with myself.
For sure I was a victim as a child, even knowing how painful it was being a victim I became a perpetrator and hurt people close to me.
I even justified doing unhealthy things.
Being a victim for me is unhealthy today.
Being a perpetrator for me is unhealthy today.
Being a rescuer for me is unhealthy today.
Because of trauma in my child hood I was not able to learn understand or absorb information.
I use to fear the opposite sex, I use to fear being myself, I use to fear emotional intimacy, I use to fear failure, I use to fear trusting people, I use to fear being questioned, I use to fear showing my ignorance, I use to fear being accountable.
I do know that my emotional age and that my physical age gap is reducing.
How selfish can I be with my recovery today.
I know it sounds weird but I am starting to like myself.
Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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  Walking in to the recovery program how did I feel
Posted by: gadaveuk - 03-10-2019, 01:46 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi

Walking in to the recovery program was a very scary moment.

I even thought that those people were not compulsive gamblers, they never knew how much pain I was in.

They never knew how much I wanted to give up on myself.

That I had lost all faith and hope in myself.

I use to want to hide in large meetings so I would not have to talk.

Yet when I was not asked to talk I felt angry.

The most important thing in the recovery program no matter when your last bet was.

Even if you do do not want to talk keep going.

I had no qualifications what so ever, I was not able to articulate my feelings and my emotions.

I felt that gambling controlled my life.

That was not true I had certain emotional triggers and when I could not cope I would escape in my addictions and my obsessions.

The healthier people in the recovery program would be nurturing and encouraging towards me. 

The wording I use to use was I have to, other people will use the same wording towards other people.

I needed to understand my needs and my wants, in time I would write them all down on a daily basis.

I understand that today I am not able to change the past, the pains I caused people I am unable to do.

My last bet did not cost me my family.

That would have been devistating to me for sure.

The recovery program would help me learn from my last emotional trigger, in time I would become more stable in myself.

Time off gambling is not a measure of my recovery.

More time having healthy habits is a measure of my recovery.

Unable to remember last time I was angry is a measure of my recovery.

How patient and tolerant I am with myself and other people is a measure of my recovery.

Not trying to control other people is a measure of my recovery.

Being emotionally detached from all feelings towards my addictions and obsessions is a measure of my recovery.

Not reacting in unhealthy ways jealousy, hatred, resentments, sulking, judging, justification, impatient and intolerant, anxiety, fear, panicking, procrastination,  avoiding commitments, avoiding people and having fear of emotional intimacy is a measure of my recovery.

Today I am not a victim, today I am not a perpetrator, today I am not a rescuer.

I do not fear people seeing me in the recovery program.

I do not fear people knowing every thing about my past.

I do not fear step four.

The recovery program would help me become a much healthier person who has faced all of his fears.

I pay my taxes monthly in advance in to a saving account.

I pay my credit cards off completely each month.

I have spread sheets with all my bills on it.

I will write to people when service is poor but not get aggressive about it.

I will write to people when service is good or excellent.

I will express appreciation and gratitude to every person I know.

It is an expression of my healthy values today.

I do try hard to not take people for granted.

I do need to move home and take my worst enemy with me.

I do need to go on a holiday and take my worst enemy with me.

I do like having a holiday yet I always look forward to getting back home.

Money was never going to give me emotional resolve.

Money was never going to make me feel successful in myself.

Money was never going to build confidence in myself.

Money was never going to make me feel productive in myself.

In time I saw myself as a rat in a wheel going faster getting no where.

I was wasting time and energy and making myself feel lower than crap.

No one made me gamble, no one made me lie, no one made me live in fear.

So at what point do I say to myself the last thing I want to do today is gamble.

Just for today only I will not gamble, that is easy on a daily basis.

The recovery program would help me to move from just for today I will not, to just for today I will.

I WILL is my commitment to myself, to become motivated in healthy ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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  Abstaining from unhealthy habits means I am able to heal my inner child
Posted by: gadaveuk - 02-10-2019, 02:20 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

I am a non religious person yet now understand how unhealthy I was before my recovery.

Abstaining from unhealthy habits means I am able to stop hurting myself.

The addictions the obsessions and unhealthy habits were hard for me to change.

Yet by abstaining only I was white knuckling my recovery.

Once I was able to abstain only then could I get motivated.

I know one thing for sure if I can do it any one can.

I left school with no qualifications what so ever.

Due to painful in my child hood I was not able to learn or absorb information or understanding.

On walking in the the recovery program I did not know what my emotional triggers were.

I did not know how emotionally vulnerable I was.

I found reading text was very boring.

It was only when I was able to relate to other people experiences that I saw myself in other people.

Only once I was committed to my recovery writings things down, writings down my lists of my needs my wants and even started to set goals.

The word dysfunctional was often mentioned but I did not understand to what depth I was dysfunctional. 

By my abstaining I was to get motivated in healthy ways.

I use to think that being angry was healthy, that is was normal.

Every unhealthy reaction I had was an indicator of how unhealthy I was.

Money was never going to give me emotional resolve or healing.

I wanted to blame every one and every thing for my failings.

Unhealthy reactions for me were anger, due to my pains not healed, due to my fears not faced, due to my unreasonable expectations of life people and situations.

Unhealthy reactions for me were impatience intolerance, these indicated I was hard on myself.

Unhealthy reactions for me were jealousy, hatred, resentments, jealousy, boredom, fear of emotional intimacy, fear of being honest, fear of being accountable, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of being myself, fear of being emotionally vulnerable, fear of humiliation, fear of public speaking, fear of being hurt, fear of being alone.

I do know that my conscience is spiritually based.

Yet I am a non religious person.

For me the reference normal is not very healthy.

I have been in recovery since 1969, that is over 49 years.

Yet I am only 26 years clean of gambling.

How could it take me so long to take my recovery seriously.

By going to do talks at a recovery center I am hoping that we can save people from hurting them self any more.

Recovery is about healing, yet how can we heal if we do not admit to our self that we are in pain or have been in pain in the past.

There is no doubt in my mind that I was a victim.

Knowing how painful that was being a victim, I then became a perpetrator hurting myself and other people.

Recovery is a very serious issue, if I had not taken my recovery seriously I may have taken my own life.

I had tried to take my own life in my teen age years.

I had even blanked that memory out completely.

So today what is most important in my life.

Relationships and time.

Every thing else is second place.

I can hug my son, I can tell my son how much I love him, I can trust my son unconditionally.

I know for sure he is healthier than I was at his age now.

The recovery program helps those people who want to get healthy.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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  How much more can I get motivated in myself today
Posted by: gadaveuk - 30-09-2019, 10:15 AM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me help myself.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me understand how unhealthy I had become.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me understand how emotional vulnerable I had become.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me get my ass in to gear.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. 
It took me time to understand that my recovery was not about right wrong good or bad, it was about moving from being emotional vulnerable and unhealthy to becoming emotionally stable and emotionally healthy.
I am  a non religious person and today I am a healthy spiritual person, my conscience is based up on spiritual values.
Sadly when I go against my spiritual values and my conscience I hurt myself and other people.
My motives before my recovery was anger resentful reluctance and penace, being healthy my healthy motives means I get some thing for doing and saying healthy in every day of my life.
By living for today, I am emotionally healed stable and disconnected from my past, I am in effect emotionally detached from gambling, I do not hate it, I do not resent it, I do not love it, gambling means nothing to me today.
Having healthy motives I get pride from being healthy, I get pride from my healthy expressions, I get pride from my healthy actions.
Love is giving of myself unconditionally, giving of myself is an expression of my values today.
My expression of gratitude and my appreciation is another expression of my values today.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how unhealthy I was, escaping deviating, avoiding my commitments, becoming less and less self sufficient.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how emotionally traumatized I was, I was emotionally traumatized from the emotional abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the physical abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the sexual abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the abandonment I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the rejection I experienced.
Sadly I was emotionally traumatized from the self abuse I caused myself through my addictions and obsessions that I had caused myself.
How much time and effort am I worth today.
How much more selfish can I become in my recovery today.
Today I understand my needs my wants and my goals today.
Relationships and time are very precious to me today.
Relationships and time are the most important things in my life today.
Am I willing to learn new healthy skills today.
Am I willing to learn to become more self sufficient today.
Do I feel threatened by questions today.
Do I feel threatened by emotional intimacy today.
How much do I value myself today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham

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  In admitting to myself that I was emotionally vulnerable was a sign of strength
Posted by: gadaveuk - 29-09-2019, 07:34 AM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi
The addictions and obsessions was a form of escape for me, escape from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.
The addictions and obsessions were places I went to when I could not cope.
I am a non religious person and found healing my hurt inner child took time.
Why did I not use the telephone list, because I either did not feel worthy of asking for help, or I felt that I did not want to inconvenience other people.
By admitting to myself that I was emotionally vulnerable was enabling to start to understand my emotional triggers.
I use to fear being honest because as a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it.
I always associated being honest as being painful.
Today I no longer talk about money lost, I no longer talk about being action.
Today I talk about how I coped with today.
I was not able to communicate before the recovery program.
I use to use swear words because I was not able to articulate myself in healthy ways.
When I try to justify myself I know that I am going against my own conscience or that I am not meeting with my own commitments.
The ideal situation is to be completely emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards gambling.
With every therapy I hear I see and feel myself in other people, I see and feel myself in who I use to be, I see and feel myself in who I am today, yet more importantly I see and feel myself in who I can be tomorrow.
Before my recovery I use to do things resentfully and reluctantly.
By doing thing with unhealthy motives I could not get any reward in myself from what I did.
With unhealthy motives I could not get pride in myself.
For every unhealthy habit I give up I replace it with a healthy habit.
Every new healthy habit I Take up make me feel more productive in myself.
Being in the recovery program  today I am far less emotionally vulnerable and no longer have to escape people life and situations.
I am a non religious person and found that by embracing healthy spiritual values I am abe to embrace a healthy life today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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  In my recovery I would face each of my fears.
Posted by: gadaveuk - 27-09-2019, 01:35 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

The recovery program was a healing process for me.

Only by listing my fears could I do some thing about them.

There was fear of rejection, there was fear of failure, there was fear of humiliation, there was fear of emotional intimacy, there was fear of the dentist, there was fear of dying, there was fear of not being good enough, there was fear of the opposite sex, there was fear of not being able to reach peoples expectations of me, there was fear of being emotionally vulnerable, there was fear of losing my job, there was fear of being alone.

Most of my fears were ten out of ten.


To reduce my fears I needed to take my biggest fear first of all.

With my biggest fear I need to ask myself what is the very worst that can happen if this fear happens.

I need to face all the possibilities.

Only when I am willing to face all of the possibilities of the worst that can happen my fear reduces.

Do I live in any kind of fear today, if so what am I willing to do about it.

Today I do not have a fear greater than three.

With each fear reducing the possibilities of becoming healthy grew.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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