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The recovery program help...
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
24-07-2020, 04:51 AM
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Tomorrow i must not gambl...
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Last Post: gadaveuk
24-07-2020, 04:05 AM
» Replies: 1
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Due to my addiction I use...
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
18-07-2020, 11:21 AM
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» Views: 54
Relapse....
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
13-07-2020, 04:20 PM
» Replies: 7
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My emotional triggers wer...
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
13-07-2020, 01:18 PM
» Replies: 0
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My story
Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section
Last Post: panda4ever
12-07-2020, 11:24 AM
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I use to feel weak lost i...
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
12-07-2020, 06:05 AM
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Isn't compulsive gambling...
Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section
Last Post: smartie
10-07-2020, 01:19 PM
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» Views: 2,997
1st time
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: StrengthToStop
08-07-2020, 10:10 PM
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My many fears use to feel...
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: gadaveuk
08-07-2020, 06:29 AM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 73

 
  First Post
Posted by: Cdclfc00 - 24-05-2020, 08:22 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

Hi everyone, this is quite hard for me to write because I'm not entirely sure what to say.

I feel I've got to a point where I need to make a change, I'm slowly getting worse and I'm not totally at destructuon point but it wont be long. 

Just writing this out to a bunch of strangers who may not even read it and dont need to reply makes it real, which is what a need, a reality check. 

Any advice would be appreciated but I am tentatively making the first steps to change.

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  Online meetings
Posted by: Keith810 - 22-05-2020, 06:56 PM - Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section - No Replies

Hi everyone. 

Returning to GA after a long absence, of course you all know the reasons someone returns after a time away. I am no different. 

I’m based in the midlands and am no longer in any of the WhatsApp groups I used to members of. Does anyone have any idea if there are any zoom Or online meetings taking place over the next week? 

Thanks 

Keith

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  Before my recovery I was not evil bad stupid, I was just emotionally Vulnerable
Posted by: gadaveuk - 21-05-2020, 07:35 AM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

Today I am more and more appreciative of how much fear use to limit my life.

I was like a rat in a wheel going faster and faster getting no where healthy.

All the time I was emotionally Vulnerable I did not feel that I could help myself.

I use to think that my addictions and obsessions use to control my life.

The adrenaline rush, use to be such a high to me  to the point I thought that I loved gambling.

Today I understand that every pain I experienced caused fears in me that I could not explain or understand.

The recovery program was never going to make me do any thing I did not want or need to do, that was going to be my own life.

The spiritual recovery program was going to help me not only be emotionally detached from Gambling but to not fear it any more.

One thing was hard was to slow down my pace, to slow down my thinking, to not react in such unhealthy ways.

The spiritual recovery program was a non religious thing to me.

My conscience was based up on spiritual values.

In time my sharing with people grew and grew, the idea of sponsorship was no longer inhibited by my fears,  a healthy sponsor would not judge me, a healthy sponsor would not bully or manipulate me, a healthy sponsor would help me over come my fears of emotional intimacy.

I have been going to meeting for over 50 years, I have gambling free continued for 20 years, people ask why go to meetings, if you have not gambled why go.

I attend meetings to learn more about myself, to heal that hurt inner child more and more, to become more and more self sufficient, to learn more about healthy interactions, to reduce my fears even more, to learn to love myself more and to learn to love other people more.

To love other people so that feel more and comfortable with in the recovery program.  

The spiritual recovery program was going to help me understand my needs and write them down, to help me understand my wants and write them down, to help me understand what my new goals are and write them down, to extend myself, to achieve more with my life and my potentials.

There was not one person that stopped me from achieving more from my life, I gave up blaming the world and other people for me being short in my actions and my words.

The spiritual recovery program was going to help me learn and understand what were healthy motives in my life, to not do things resentfully, to not do things conditionally, to not do things to person please, to not do things seeking approval, to not do things living in fear, to not procrastinate and put things off, to not live frozen in fear.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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  I was not able to express a gratitude appreciation or patience before my recovery
Posted by: gadaveuk - 20-05-2020, 04:37 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

I was not able to express a gratitude appreciation or patience before my recovery and questioned myself why not.

What was gratitude appreciation, in time I understood by expressing my  gratitude and appreciation ws an expression of how healthy my values were.

My lack of patience and tolerance only indicated how hard I was on myself.

The recovery program could not resolve my unhealthy attitudes that had to be my own choice.

One day when were in Florida we were just leaving our hotel room.

There was a lady in the corridor cleaning other rooms.

I asked Shirley to go on to the lifts while I talked to the lady.

I asked the lady cleaning the rooms did you clean our room, her very first reaction was shock or fear on her face.

The lady cleaning the rooms said yes, I then thanked her for doing a very good job and let her know that she was very much appreciated.

The change in the ladies face was very powerful to me.

Then I walked on to join my wife and I asked myself why could I not be so grateful and show it to all people.

That experience changed me in some very healthy ways.

Was it healthy to take so many people for granted.

So to express a gratitude and appreciation was an expression of my values.

It was not person pleasing, it was not trying to get some thing for nothing.

One day I was having a meal with another person in recovery, it was a great meal and I asked the waitress for the bill.

The waitress leaned over and whispered in my ear there is no charge.

I was completed shocked and surprised, yet I could not believe what happened.

It was the very first time that had happened to me and I talked about it with the other person.

Did we both think that if we had not been in our recovery that would have happened the same way.

So my healthy interaction with all people changes how I feel about myself and other people.

The thinking is that we are not able to change other people in our life.

Is that true, surely our being in recovery helps us come out of our self in healthy ways.

Do our healthy actions words interactions help other people nurture and encourage them self to come out even more.

The therapies we give not only help us open up more, to let our hurt inner child to come out more.

The therapies help us reduce our fears but open us to more trust.

To live my life today with healthy interactions rather than reacting in unhealthy ways.

My rage my anger only indicated that my inner child was not healed as yet.

How much do I value myself today.

How much time and effort am I willing to put in to my recovery today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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  No more.
Posted by: Bubba55555 - 18-05-2020, 05:55 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

My name is Gary. My last bet was 00.30am 18th May 2020.
I am determined never to bet again.
Never to spawn my energy, time or money on the hateful gambling.
I am so much better than just an addicted gambler. I will always love the buzz and addiction, but I know I value my time and family more.  
I just wanted to tattoo this down somewhere public for myself. 
May the universe be kind to me and show me the light and way forward.

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  Zoom Meetings
Posted by: SeanGA - 18-05-2020, 09:09 AM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi All,

Since lockdown started, I have been hosting meetings every Tuesday at 8PM UK GMT via Zoom. This originally started as something for the members in our group (Loughton, UK) but we were speaking about it and realised that newcomers or even other members from other fellowships may wish to join and we should be able to provide a safe space for them to do so. Therefore I would like to invite those of you who would be interested, to join our meeting this evening (and by all means every week recurring)

The invite details are below:

Topic: Loughton GA Meeting
Time: May 19, 2020 08:00 PM London
        Every week on Tue:
        May 19, 2020 08:00 PM UK GMT

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88604117915?pw...BZaGY5QT09

Meeting ID: 886 0411 7915
Password: JFT

Please feel free to join us, share your therapies, and remember you are not at all alone. 

I wish you all a gamble-free day today and every other day going forward!

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  4 weeks in
Posted by: Brenda6155 - 15-05-2020, 06:01 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

Well after signing up to Gamstop. This has prevented me from joining any online gambling it has allowed me to get back into reading books and doing all sorts of craft tbings. I have tried adult painting by numbers. crocheting and now signed up for some online project management courses.

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  Recovery was a healing process which helped me give up so many unhealthy habits
Posted by: gadaveuk - 14-05-2020, 12:11 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

Hi

Why do I stick with the recovery program if I have not gambled for some time.

The healthy people in the recovery program helped me see that I was not a bad person, that I was not an evil person, that I was not a stupid person, the reason I Gambled was because I was an emotionally vulnerable person.

I am a non religious person and any one who wants to can not only heal that hurt inner child but can become more content can become a person with reduced fears, can become a person with healthy communication skills.

I was a very rebellious person, my motives were unhealthy, I was a very mistrusting person, I was a very lonely person, I was a very inadequate person, I use to fear emotional intimacy, I was not able to articulate my feelings and my emotions, I put up a facade and pretence to hide the hurt inner child in me.

No one could stop me gambling, no one could force me to do the recovery program, no one could take my pains away, no one could stop me being the victim, no one could stop me being the perpetrator, no one could stop me from living in my many fears.

The more I got in to my addictions and my obsessions the harder it was for me to heal and come out of my shell built on many fears.

Any one who can become committed towards the recovery program can make huge changes to their life with out addictions and obsessions.

One question I asked my wife was what was Love, she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.

I use to say that I loved gambling was that true.

I found out that my addictions and my obsessions were ways of escaping life people and situations.

For me to love was all about healthy interactions with a living person or creature, it is not possible for me to have a healthy interaction with money or material things.

No  amount of money would stop me Gambling, in fact sudden money would cause me to self destruct.

I use to think that laughter was happiness, in time I found out that inner happiness is about complete contentment with in myself.

To be content with who I am today.

To be content with who I am with today.

To be content with where I am with today.

To be content with what I have today.

I use to rush through life and not enjoy it.

My risk taking was an unhealthy habit.

My speeding was an unhealthy habit.

My reactions to people life and situations were very unhealthy.

My impatience and intolerance indicated how hard I was on myself.

I could not compliment myself, I could not validate myself, I could not love myself.

The recovery program was far beyond giving up my addictions and my obsessions.

The recovery program was about healing inwards with in myself.

How much do I value myself today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckeham

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  2 months strong
Posted by: Sindog - 11-05-2020, 03:52 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi All,

Hope everyone is holding up with everything that’s going on.

First time here, today marks 2 months of no gambling and I’ve never felt happier. This post is for people out there who are struggling and to let them know that there is always hope and to take each day as it comes. The thought of going 2 hours without gambling was beyond me but it’s just about stringing days together at the start and then time starts to fly.

I know I’m by no means cured, but getting stronger each day and looking forward to a gambling free future.

Stay safe everyone x

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  My addictions and my obsessions were very unhealthy for me and every around me.
Posted by: gadaveuk - 10-05-2020, 04:54 PM - Forum: Share Section - No Replies

Hi

How many people felt that their addictions and obsessions were controlling them.

I understand now that I use to escape in many ways long before my addictions and obsessions came in to play.

Only once I was committed towards investing time and energy would I have a chance not only to abstain but to heal my pains and to face my fears.

Because I had so many control issues which were all fear based, only once I admitted that I was emotionally vulnerable and that my way of life was very unhealthy.

Even my motives were unhealthy, my anger was unhealthy, that my communication was very poor and unhealthy.

The recovery program was only a manual to healing and healthy living.

I use to react in very unhealthy ways to the mention of God or religion.

My unhealthy reaction to God or religion was due to the fact that some adults in my life caused me many pains and they were very unhealthy hypocrites.

My recovery was not going to be helped by unhealthy people bullying manipulating threatening me, no my learning would come from people who were healthy nurturing and encouraging towards me.

A healthy nurturing and encouraging sponsor would help me face new challenges, help me learn from my mistakes, they would demonstrate healthy communication skills.

A healthy nurturing and encouraging sponsor would help me over come my fears, I would find that there were many things I could learn from both healthy and unhealthy people, in time I would see and feel myself in unhealthy people.

The wording dysfunctional was very confusing for me, yet over time I would find that dysfunctional people were often very unable to embrace spiritual values, they were short in healthy communication skills.

That dysfunctional people were unable to interact in healthy ways and often dysfunctional people would adversely affect other people one way or another.

One of things I found out about myself was because I was unable to heal my pains I could not move on from my past, blame guilt tripping, even when some thing went missing I would instantly assume that some one had moved or taken some of mine.

Over time my unhealthy instant reaction would help me understand that I was not only an unhealthy person yet if I worked up on myself I could heal and leave my past pains behind me.

My fears disabled me in so many ways, yet all of my fears were a consequence of pains of my past unresolved or unhealed issues.

My fear of being honest came from my child hood, when ever honest as a child I was punished in one way or another, I got in to associating that honesty would always be painful.

That by me being honest was going to cause me to feeling abandoned or rejected, in the recovery program as I opened more and more I found that my honesty was empowering me.

For me the spiritual recovery program once I worked it was going to help me open up more and more, as I moved from telling sad war stories and blame on to talking about my emotional vulnerability I would expose more and more of the hurt inner child in me.

I would open up cry and laugh, I would open up more and my emotional age and my physical age would get closer together.

Today I no longer want to be the victim, I no longer want to be the perpetrator, I no longer want to be frozen in my fears.

Because of the infection issues I miss out on the meetings, I miss out on the talks we do at the recovery center, I miss out on the choice to go some where warm, I miss out on getting things done in the yard, by the way it has snowed here in Calgary Canada.

A person once said at a meeting that he was he was a compulsive gambler, is this man mad, he explained with out his addiction and with out the recovery program he would have never found out how unhealthy he was.

It is my daily choice as to what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

It is my daily choice as to how healthy do I want to become in myself.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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