Hello.

I don't quite understand, so are you looking for relationship advice?!

You have mentioned you don't have a problem with gambling but you have come to this forum (which is for compulsive gamblers/gambling addicts) looking for help. I am really not sure how to help you or what to say.

Maybe you could stop lying to her and explain to her it's not a problem. As long as you continue to hide things from your partner you're gonna have problems.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

You have many people you can talk to in GA meetings who are going through or have gone through exactly the same. My only advice to you is go to a meeting and, if you come up with an excuse why you cannot go RUN to one!

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

The chat room is open for anyone to use, however you cannot access it with a mobile device.

I hope your first meeting goes well and you get a lot from it. The first meeting is always a daunting task for most, but there's little to be concerned about, try to go with an open mind.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

Hello Andy.

I would suggest you ask the more senior members of the Leeds group, especially the previous secretary you took over from who should have informed you of your duties and how to go about them. This forum is a public forum and not just for members.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

It is a shame that you have been at it again. I had noticed that you hadn't been posting on here so assumed you were going to meetings and things were getting better.

The thing about GA meetings is they are not a cure, going to meetings does not safeguard from anyone having a bet. They do however, give you a better chance, but only if you have an open mind and are willing to put the effort in and do what is being suggested.

On the last two pages of the GA orange book there are suggestions for members. There is an old saying "actions speak louder than words". I would you suggest to anyone that is struggling to read those two pages and put the suggestions into place in their own recovery. If anyone wants to stop gambling for good then the bare minimum is not going to cut it. The suggestions made in GA are not just for a chosen few they are for everyone.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

Hi Barrie

In some peoples eyes it is gambling. However, the subject of fantasy football is a common one, it comes up in most meetings every year or two. It's in the same category as all the others i.e. being self employed, a pub quiz, crossing the road, "I don't need an umbrella today, it won't rain!", etc... There is risk in almost everything we do.

I don't believe fantasy football is gambling, nor do I believe is a game of killer pool, or participating in a school raffle or tombola, or even being in a pub quiz, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I know where my gambling took me and I cannot allow myself to even come close to having a bet again. I adhere to the GA way and that is not having a bet on anything and, just to be safe, I don't do the things that are in the grey area either, just to be sure I don't get sucked back in.

I suppose you have to look at what anyone would see as the act of gambling too as this is what compulsive gamblers are addicted to. As we should already know, it isn't about the money. It states quite clearly at the bottom of page 7 of the GA orange book "it includes playing a game for table stakes", table stakes do not necessarily mean money. It is the act of gambling that I mostly steer clear of.

Recovering from this illness I must learn to live life without the need to escape. Therefore anything that I do that allows me to escape is potentially damaging to my recovery and could me point back in the wrong direction.

Vigilance is the key.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

Anyone that is a compulsive gambler DOESN'T have the willpower, hence why they have not been able to stop on their own. In fact most have lost all respect for themselves by the time they are desperate enough to seek help, especially through GA.

I know it contradicts what you have said but it is fact.

GA offers the guidance, support, knowledge and strategy required to recover through the Recovery Program. It is proven to work, especially where willpower didn't.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

Hello.

It's great that you have found the meetings and benefiting from them. GA was/has been the only thing that has worked for me. The help and support really is vital to move forward.

I noticed you mentioned, after saying thank you, that one day you hope you will be able to return the favour; well, you already have. You are helping others, by sharing your experience so far.

Big Dave (Eastcote/Uxbridge)

I am surprised you still have an obsession to gamble after ten years smiler. My recovery has taught me a great deal about how I tick and I am constantly understanding more about my illness.

Gambling was never my problem, the way I did it was (compulsively). In my experience, although I have met many compulsive gamblers who suffer from OCD, I don't believe there's a much larger ratio than anyone other sector of society.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)

It's certainly not part of the recovery progress I wish to learn about.

The most natural thing for a compulsive gambler to do is gamble, so when someone has a 'lapse' I wouldn't exactly call it failure. Abstaining from gambling for any period is a difficult task for most if they have been in action for a long time.

The fact is that the majority of people in GA have 'lapsed' at least once. Very few get it the first time round.

After being in recovery for such a long period I am sure you know all this already.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)