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  My 1st post, Road to recovery
Posted by: Spratzer - 05-09-2018, 01:48 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi all. All this is new to me. I have recently told my wife and immediate family of my gambling addiction. I have lost a massive sum of money before Christmas 2017 and then I threw in the towel to it all in January 2018. So now I am 8 months gambling free.
But during this time my wife was pregnant with our now beautiful son. I could not tell her my mess when she was pregnant and waited until last weekend to tell her. Luckily she’s willing to stand by me whilst I seek help to stay away from betting. I need help and guidance and any tips to achieve this.

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  Update
Posted by: Ashcfc28 - 02-09-2018, 09:21 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (3)

I have just attended my first meeting and just got home after putting it off for a while.
I was petrified of going but now really looking forward to the next one.
I know I'm in for a long road ahead but this really does feel the start of something positive (for a change)
My advice to anyone thinking of going to a GA meeting is don't think about it and just do it you never know if you don't try. Smile

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  I lost over Xk last night
Posted by: Jason181 - 29-08-2018, 07:54 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Last night I lost over Xk. After a year of non gambling I felt sick upset after I lost it I broke down in tears and told my partner what I had done she was upset with me. But now for. The many times I very tired to stop. Gambling today I will. Beat it today I took many steps to stop gambling by closing all my accounts online giving my cards to my partner using gamstop. And talking about my gambling. Baned myself from. Bookies and iam going to book a doctor 's appointment as my depression. Is high and my tablet 's have not relly help as anyone got any other tips to stop gambling

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  Here goes nothing!!
Posted by: Bondage82 - 27-08-2018, 07:19 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

I’mHi just a quick introduction on myself. I am currently 3 days bet free , my last bet absolutely devastated me and has opened my eyes that I am never going to get that ‘win’ which will change my life. I have attended g a meetings and this was my second time round. I haven’t been to group for about 8 weeks and have had 2 slips since. I’m a payday binge gambler , my finances are all over the place. I have two children that’s have seen me in a bad way lately it’s not good for any of us. I literally cannot handle the pain anymore not to mention the pain and hurt I’m reflecting on to others its just a sad vicious cycle I’m going through and if anything im damaging myself and I know I haven’t got it in me to have another episode Because I like literally couldn’t handle it. It’s from now that I have to stand up and take responsibility for my actions realise changes need to happen or my life is going to continue to detoriate right before me. The pain I have is still so raw I justneed to keep that close.

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  New member here.
Posted by: daledoback123 - 24-08-2018, 08:25 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi everyone, 

New member to the forum here and was just hoping to share my situation and story with you all. 
I understand we are all in "the same boat" so to speak and we have one thing in common, that gambling has certainly had an impact on our lives. 
Like most gambling addicts, for the longest time i was in denial, i believed i was a "casual" gambler and justified this because i assumed to be an addict, i would need to think about it constantly, day and night, which has never been the case, but i discovered I was also very wrong.

Im a 39 year old professional, over the last decade my gambling has caused relationships to end, friendships lost and family distance. 

I would honestly say that the majority of the time, I functioned normally, lived my life, had money and gambling would not enter my head, but on the caissons it did, it was devastating, even if i had a "big win", ultimately I would end up with nothing.

Over the last 10 years girlfriends have come and gone, mainly due to money troubles, stress and arguments all due to my gambling, to be honest, in the majority of cases i would self sabotage these relationships, through guilt or the belief that i simply was a burden to them.

About 3 years ago i met my now wife. Straight off the bat i came clean, told her all about my gambling, the effects it had and offered full disclosure, something i have never done in the past. I thought I had solved the issue, open honesty, and my salary getting paid straight into an account which i had no access to. Life was great and gambling was in my rear view mirror.

Ofcourse I STILL had access via online banking, and could easily transfer some funds into my online gambling accounts prior to transferring my pay into our other account. I would say at first this was relatively small amounts.  But then this month, it all came to a horrible climax. 

After our wedding last year, we had saved all of our cash gifts, in one of these hand made piggy bank pots at home. we were gifted just short of £xxxx from various family and friends, and each month we would add funds to it, this was to save for our first anniversary holiday later this month.

My salary was paid into my bank at the start of this month and for whatever reason, I started to gamble, "just a little". Before long i was a few hundred pounds down and had to "make it back" , ofcourse this would never happen! Because even if i did recoup my losses, it wouldnt have stopped there and I simply would have kept going.

Soon, that morning, i had spent ALL of my monthly salary on an online site. Feeling sick, and not knowing how i could ever explain what or why i did this, I thought the only option was to take what i had lost, from our wedding savings , put that in our account, then convince my wife that maybe we shouldn't touch our savings for our holidays as we didnt need to.

but ofcourse, i have a gambling problem and numb from the mornings events, it was never going to work.

I removed all of our savings, and headed for the bank. this was the plan, it will work.

There is a bookmakers 2 doors down from the bank. I could have one more shot at making it all back and life would be good again. I lost everything.

Feeling sick, devastated and lost. I finally had to tell my wife everything.

Thankfully, after a long talk and alot of tears, (we have always been quite rational and talk things out) . We were ok in that my marriage was not at risk. That feeling of devastation and emptiness is still with me now, 3 weeks on.

I have to say, the devastated horrible empty feeling wasn't because I lost our money, it was because i felt like I had let her down and myself also.  Whether I gamble £x or £xxxxx its STILL gambling. 

Someone a long time ago once said to me "You do realise you only gamble to lose right?" I find this to be very true.

I look forward to conversing, sharing and reading with you all on this journey i hope we can all take together.

Thanks for reading.

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  At a lost end
Posted by: SAM - 21-08-2018, 06:12 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

Hi there,
My partner is a gambling addict. I have known about his addition for a couple of years, of the 6years we have been together. He did seek help when I first found out and is repaying the debt. I thought I had supported him through it and he wasn't gambling anymore. About 4months ago I found a betting slip in his car, he did not deny it but said it was a one off. He felt that it was okay as didn't see that he had a problem as the debt was being paid. My world fell apart, as the realisation that he will always be controlled by the addiction until he comes to the realisation that he has an addition and always will have. I now don't trust him in anyway and feel that out live together is all a lie. I feel so relieved not to have children with him, but yet still I haven't walked away. I do not want to take full control of his money, as i feel like he will only feel resentful towards me. He is a wonderful man, caring, loving and I know that none of this is an reflection on how he feels about me. But I feel that if I keep standing by him that he won't hit rock bottom and there for never change for himself. On the other hand what if I'm wrong?! He said he will try going to GA, I hope that he does. I can't handle all the lies and the lack of trust in our relationship, it's killing me emotionally and mentally. I do not believe that I was a one off slip up and have no way of ever knowing the truth. I don't know if I'm mentally able to have this happen over and over again but well aware that that is a possibility being with a addict. I don't know what to do for myself and for him. Any advise is welcomed.
Thank you.

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  South Yardley Group, Birmingham
Posted by: AuntyP - 18-08-2018, 08:04 PM - Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section - Replies (3)

Hi All, I urgently need to make contact with someone from the South Yardley GA group in Birmingham. Can anyone provide any contact details please?  The contacts page on this website is blank.
Thanks in advance for any information you can provide.

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  My Journey begins
Posted by: Whoodi - 15-08-2018, 12:39 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (2)

On Saturday 4th August I gambled again. I lost quite a bit of money and I finally came clean to my husband who was extremely supportive.
We sat together and searched for help available and we found some key information then I have pursued since. That day I permanently closed all online accounts.
 
Last Thursday 9th August was my best friend 60th birthday. We went for afternoon tea and on the way home I confided in her. She was amazing and said she too would help. We went back to her house and she and her husband sat and listened to my story. I told them I was not looking for anyone to come along and fix everything ( I said this as I could see in their eyes they were thinking of how to fix)  I explained I just needed support, someone to hear me when I need to voice.
 
Saturday 11th August *one week free of gambling* they took my husband and I out for a meal. We had a lovely evening and at the end they said they wanted to talk to us at home. GULP
 
They knew I had taken out payday loans as I told them this when I confided in them. They understood I had a fairly steady job and I could repay but they were concerned the level of interest I was incurring daily. As I had reported to them via text every day *another day free of gambling* they wanted to encourage me to continue so they had spoken to my husband without my knowledge and they would be clearing the loans for me. I was to pay them back monthly. I cried for four hours !
 
On Monday 13th August in the evening *9 days free from gambling* they came to my house and one by one we rang the loan companies and paid off the loans. We also told the loan companies to add me to the DNL ( Do not lend ) list.
 
The pain I felt during this activity, in my head, in my heart and in my stomach was unbelievable painful. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, disappointment, fear were consuming me. I did not want to seem ungrateful so I tried so hard to keep my emotions at bay, thanking them every step of the way. Even when I got the “talk” about do not do this again, this is a mugs game, you will never win, you are smarter than this. I continued to be grateful and agreed at all the right places.
 
Once completed they went home and I went to the bathroom and was ill. My husband tried to talk to me but the pain I was feeling was just too much and I wanted to just forget it for a while. I went to bed and I cried myself to sleep.
 
Tuesday 14th August *10 days free from gambling* As normal went to work and for the first time in a long time was sat there excited about the future. My colleague ( who also knows and supports me ) talked to me about holidays in the future, and exciting things ahead. I actually felt my head lift a little. The shame and guilt still sit heavy with me, but I know even thinking about gambling now makes me feel sick and this at the moment helps me to repeat *today I will not gamble*
 
So a tricky few weeks for me, but for the first time in years I can see the future and it looks quite bright.
The only real problem are the dreams/nightmares. I wake up because I have won on a slot or a jackpot on bingo. I wake up euphroic then when I realise it is a dream/nightmare I dispair. To combat these I go for a drink of water and return to my bed trying to think of other things like lying on a beach etc.

Any one else have these?
 
Today is Wednesday 15th August 2018 and I am 11 days free from gambling.

Today I will not gamble
 

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  Lost Update
Posted by: Lost_2018 - 14-08-2018, 09:42 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (7)

Lost weekly update.

I’d like to start off by saying thanks Simmo for reading my post last week & for the advice/ comment.

Another week has passed & the last date I gambled on was the 22/7/18, by far the longest period I have gone without a gamble, I thought it would be worth  looking up!

Thanks for the advice on the chat rooms, 2 things I didn’t want to do was go to a GA meeting or tell my loved ones, I have now decided to go to GA, my only apprehension being, seeing someone there I know, but I could always go to a meeting in a different area I will be going next week!

However I’m still not prepared to tell my family I am running the risk they read a bill/letter over the next few months, I have attempted to counter this by typing up a letter of what I am & what I’ve done to give to them if they find out.

Now moving on, my previous post I wanted all my payday loans & bank loan covered by October 25th, that was definitely too adventurous over the last 2 weeks I have changed my repayment plans on all credit 3X, there was also loans I forgot, I have this is all  now accounted for, 

I also forgot an item of jewellery I got for my 21st birthday I pawned in May ( to gamble), this was from my mum, tbh I didn’t care at the time ‘numb’ is the way I felt I’d gambled  the money and didn’t care about it& since I’ve remembered in the past week it almost brings me to tears, I thought there was just a month then they would sell it.

So I phoned the broker up on the off chance they have it still or they could make an offer to whom bought it... low and behold they hold it for 6 months!, it gains interest obviously all the time, so I told them I wanted it back & I would be phoning up in the next week with the date I would be paying them back & I want in an email for them to confirm the jewellery will not go anywhere, which they said was fine. It will cost me 25%-30% of my monthly salary to get back but I’ll get it back!

I will be making a plan for this next week, hopefully get free-lancing work to cover it or move some of my payday loan payments as I’m on a plan so they should be flexible, worst case although I said no more credit I’ll break the exception for this but as I worst case plus i have sometime on my side!

The new date for me is the 15/12, all payday loans and bank loan gone.

If I stick to my plan my credit cards will have 30% paid off and my overdraft 20% paid off by this date too!

I will also be able to look to move out end of Feb 2019.. which just sounds great!

....but for now it’s just 1 day at a time.

In terms of triggers it’s been over 3 weeks since I last gambled my addiction was online I’ve walked past several bookies (3 near me) and not had any urge to gamble, however I have decided to go into all 3 next week and tell them to bar me (a good block in place)

I have a gambling blocker in place which is completely free!, you set you block limit and it cannot be lifted, I originally done a 24 hour block just in case it stopped anything, everything was fine there is now a 3 month block in place... which I will extend to 6 months.

Unfortunately they do not support I phone so I am now looking for a suitable blocker for my phone.

I’m now 1 week from payday the time has flown, but this makes me scared this will be the first time I have an amount of money going into my account, however my plan go to bed early the night before, make all my ‘planned payments ‘the following day, budget the rest..there don’t be much left to budget and go 1 day at a time... I can do it!

I have paid and done a root canal on my tooth before losing it I wouldn’t of bothered doing this due to gambling!

I am on a 3rd and final stage interview I wouldn’t bothered moving my career on if I was gambling!

I have gone over 3 weeks without gambling!

These are big positives, I’m filling my time by connecting with my friends... at the moment with it being free, watching a movie, going for a walk etc!, as I have no beer money.

I use my free time to complete work tasks as well!, I would leave reports to the last minute & now I get them done in advance to a better quality.

I went out last Friday for the first time in 3 weeks had enough money to barely cover 2 rounds but it was good being out... in a few months I will have a social budget, and I can’t wait!

I have read up about the ‘12 step plan’ but it all seems about finding god (unless I’m reading the wrong plan)... I can’t follow this plan due to that, I do however agree I’ve got myself in this mess and I will or myself & the support of loved ones (if I fall again) will pull myself out out of this addiction and debt mess!, by keeping blocks in place & going day by day.

I’ve tried to avoid £ values in my post this time!

My next post will be after my biggest hurdle yet payday, I would have attended GA before then & will update again in a week hopefully with positive news 

Thanks 

Lost

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  Back again!!
Posted by: Tomh - 12-08-2018, 06:29 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Well where do i start , this is the third time i have returned to GA to look for help and to get back onto the road i have so longed for . I first came onto GA in 2013 then again in 2016 now back in 2018 . This time nothing too drastic compared to my first arrival on here ,  i have been gambling for the past few weeks hiding it sneaking off to put bets on and just seemed to be going back to the person i hated and the person i have worked sooo hard to get away from . 
This is not about the money anymore it is about the mind set and moving the mindset away from it all  , there has been times when i have thought i cannot live without it and just cave in and keep gambling but i cannot and will not be beaten , the suicidal thoughts have crept in as i have contemplated defeat to this horrendous addiction though i do what i did to beat this last time which is read stories from everyone else update my own life and keep away from any bookies. 

I am still excluded from all websites though have found myself wondering into shops , i need to do things day by day and string those days together to make weeks and months and hopefully again years!

Please get in touch to share experiences and help each other this will not go away without help and shoulders to lean on are the way to do it 

Thanks for reading Tom 

DAY 1 of my new life

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