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Back again!! - Tomh - 12-08-2018

Well where do i start , this is the third time i have returned to GA to look for help and to get back onto the road i have so longed for . I first came onto GA in 2013 then again in 2016 now back in 2018 . This time nothing too drastic compared to my first arrival on here ,  i have been gambling for the past few weeks hiding it sneaking off to put bets on and just seemed to be going back to the person i hated and the person i have worked sooo hard to get away from . 
This is not about the money anymore it is about the mind set and moving the mindset away from it all  , there has been times when i have thought i cannot live without it and just cave in and keep gambling but i cannot and will not be beaten , the suicidal thoughts have crept in as i have contemplated defeat to this horrendous addiction though i do what i did to beat this last time which is read stories from everyone else update my own life and keep away from any bookies. 

I am still excluded from all websites though have found myself wondering into shops , i need to do things day by day and string those days together to make weeks and months and hopefully again years!

Please get in touch to share experiences and help each other this will not go away without help and shoulders to lean on are the way to do it 

Thanks for reading Tom 

DAY 1 of my new life

RE: Back again!! - Tomh - 06-07-2019

Back yet again , I need to ensure I stay focused on removing this awful addiction from my life . My family do not deserve this . 1 day in now fresh start , for the first time I am stopping gambling before I have lost everything, I have a house and money and really need to stop , desperate times .
I need to stay on here help others and accept help from others . Hope everyone is getting through there pain too
Thanks for reading

RE: Back again!! - gadaveuk - 01-06-2021

Hi Tom

I use to go back to meetings after losing it once more feeling so low in myself.

The most important thing I learned was to keep going to meetings and understand what my last emotional trigger was.

The point comes when we learn more about why we go back to the addictions and the obsessions.

For me the addictions and the obsessions was a way of me escaping people life and situations.

It was almost impossible for me to hand over the finances but once done I felt I placed less pressure on myself.

I use to view my money as a control issue, and in time I understand that my control issues were fear based.

Recovery and healing took certain steps, attend meetings that suited me best, start to abstain, move from telling war stories about money, and understand how I felt emotionally.

To move from reacting in unhealthy ways and get in to interacting in healthy ways with all people.

Recovery every day was very much like very slow baby steps, I wanted things to move quickly I could say that in some ways I was an adrenaline junkie.

The more the risk the bigger the buzz.

How sad I use to think that the adrenaline rush was happiness.

I do hope that you stick with it.

Take care

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham