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Poker - RedAdmiral - 08-01-2019


Thanks for allowing me to post here. Reading lots of your stories and the amount everyone supports each other is really inspiring to see. Thank you for this.

I’d like to share my story, if I may;

I have played poker (Texas hole ‘em) both live and online since I was 16 (I am 29 now). I would play in private games until I was old enough to enter the casino’s or play online.

I had a reasonable amount of success in the early days. I would nearly always win in the private games and it was good fun; I guess this led me to believe I was quite good. I probably have convinced myself for the past 13 years that I am a “winning player”. I have not kept accounts/books to show profit/loss. I would do this from time to time, but then delete the whole spreadsheet when I took a hit, went on a downward spiral etc. I suspect I am a break even player, at best. I convince myself that I get unlucky in tournaments and that the big win is just around the corner.

I actually don’t partake in any other forms of gambling, just poker (where I convinced myself I have an edge). I decided to quite poker on October 15th 2018. Main reasons being; It was consuming my time. It stops me doing more productive things which will be better for me and my family. Before I know it I have spent so much time playing poker, and cannot stop. I say “I’ll only play on Sundays”, then I will be playing on Mondays for hours also. Not performing at work. Not going to the gym. Not eating right. Being pretty moody (If I’ve lost).

It was going well, my work flourished, fitness flourish, relationships with my wife and kids were great, mood swings weren’t anywhere near as severe, healthier habits, sleeping better. Despite all this, I felt I missed it too much and convinced myself playing again would be fine, and played between 28th Dec – 6th Jan (circa £xk down).

I have been to Vegas to play the world series for the past few years & I once came 2nd in a large UK tournament that people found out about (in hindsight I wish I’d crashed out of this, as I’m sure I’ve been chasing a similar win for the past 7 years), this has caused people to associate me with “poker” - frequently when I bump into friends, friends of friends, business associates, they often ask me “how’s poker going?” or “I hear you’re a pretty good card player”. I am worried if I quit, that I will lose a part of myself, and in a strange type of way, be a lesser person.

I took the 20 questions and answered as honestly as I could, I answered yes to 19 of them.

I appreciate you reading this far. If your story if similar or you have any advice, I’d love to hear your comments.

If I can help anyone in anyway, please let me know.

Best regards.