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In admitting to myself that I was emotionally vulnerable was a sign of strength - Printable Version

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In admitting to myself that I was emotionally vulnerable was a sign of strength - gadaveuk - 29-09-2019

Hi
The addictions and obsessions was a form of escape for me, escape from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.
The addictions and obsessions were places I went to when I could not cope.
I am a non religious person and found healing my hurt inner child took time.
Why did I not use the telephone list, because I either did not feel worthy of asking for help, or I felt that I did not want to inconvenience other people.
By admitting to myself that I was emotionally vulnerable was enabling to start to understand my emotional triggers.
I use to fear being honest because as a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it.
I always associated being honest as being painful.
Today I no longer talk about money lost, I no longer talk about being action.
Today I talk about how I coped with today.
I was not able to communicate before the recovery program.
I use to use swear words because I was not able to articulate myself in healthy ways.
When I try to justify myself I know that I am going against my own conscience or that I am not meeting with my own commitments.
The ideal situation is to be completely emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards gambling.
With every therapy I hear I see and feel myself in other people, I see and feel myself in who I use to be, I see and feel myself in who I am today, yet more importantly I see and feel myself in who I can be tomorrow.
Before my recovery I use to do things resentfully and reluctantly.
By doing thing with unhealthy motives I could not get any reward in myself from what I did.
With unhealthy motives I could not get pride in myself.
For every unhealthy habit I give up I replace it with a healthy habit.
Every new healthy habit I Take up make me feel more productive in myself.
Being in the recovery programĀ  today I am far less emotionally vulnerable and no longer have to escape people life and situations.
I am a non religious person and found that by embracing healthy spiritual values I am abe to embrace a healthy life today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham.