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How much more can I get motivated in myself today - Printable Version

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How much more can I get motivated in myself today - gadaveuk - 30-09-2019

Hi
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me help myself.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me understand how unhealthy I had become.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me understand how emotional vulnerable I had become.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me get my ass in to gear.
The spiritual recovery program was going to help me exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. 
It took me time to understand that my recovery was not about right wrong good or bad, it was about moving from being emotional vulnerable and unhealthy to becoming emotionally stable and emotionally healthy.
I am  a non religious person and today I am a healthy spiritual person, my conscience is based up on spiritual values.
Sadly when I go against my spiritual values and my conscience I hurt myself and other people.
My motives before my recovery was anger resentful reluctance and penace, being healthy my healthy motives means I get some thing for doing and saying healthy in every day of my life.
By living for today, I am emotionally healed stable and disconnected from my past, I am in effect emotionally detached from gambling, I do not hate it, I do not resent it, I do not love it, gambling means nothing to me today.
Having healthy motives I get pride from being healthy, I get pride from my healthy expressions, I get pride from my healthy actions.
Love is giving of myself unconditionally, giving of myself is an expression of my values today.
My expression of gratitude and my appreciation is another expression of my values today.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how unhealthy I was, escaping deviating, avoiding my commitments, becoming less and less self sufficient.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how emotionally traumatized I was, I was emotionally traumatized from the emotional abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the physical abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the sexual abuse I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the abandonment I experienced, I was emotionally traumatized from the rejection I experienced.
Sadly I was emotionally traumatized from the self abuse I caused myself through my addictions and obsessions that I had caused myself.
How much time and effort am I worth today.
How much more selfish can I become in my recovery today.
Today I understand my needs my wants and my goals today.
Relationships and time are very precious to me today.
Relationships and time are the most important things in my life today.
Am I willing to learn new healthy skills today.
Am I willing to learn to become more self sufficient today.
Do I feel threatened by questions today.
Do I feel threatened by emotional intimacy today.
How much do I value myself today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham