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Just for today I will not gamble is progress, it means I deal with today only. - Printable Version

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Just for today I will not gamble is progress, it means I deal with today only. - gadaveuk - 10-11-2019

Hi

Just for today I will not gamble is progress, it means I deal with today only.

Just for today I will not gamble makes it simpler, just for one day.

Just for today I will not gamble is a boundary that I am not going to hurt myself or other people.

Just for today I will not lie, each lie causes fears in me which causes me stress and anxiety.

Just for today I will not gamble is easier if I do not have any control over my finances, it makes it simpler.

I could not trust myself with money.

I did not value myself or value money.

Just for today I will not live in fear.

Just for today I will attend meetings because it helps me heal and not live in the pains of my past.

I am a non religious person yet I embrace spiritual values.

I am a non religious person and I am still healing my hurt inner child.

The recovery program helped me understand what my emotional triggers were and how to over  come feeling emotionally vulnerable.

The recovery program helped me understand that I was not an evil person, that I was not a bad person, that I was not a stupid person, I was just a very vulnerable person who could not cope well with people life and situations and I use to escape in my fears.

The recovery program helped me understand that I feared emotional intimacy.

The recovery program helped me understand that each time I gambled I simply made things much worse and far more painful.

The recovery program helped me understand that gambling for me was not a healthy habit.

That for me gambling was a very unhealthy thing to do.

No matter when your last bet keep attending meetings.

The recovery program helped me understand that recovery was about healing.

To only abstain from gambling did not mean that I was healing my pains.

Only once I abstained would I be free  to heal and become a much healthier person.

Recently I was asked how long have I been in the recovery program.

I have been in the recovery program since 1969.

I am often asked why attend meetings if I have not gambled in twenty six years.

The answer is simple each meeting I attend the healthier I become.

From day one in the recovery program did I understand that I was emotionally traumatized, that I was in so much pain and I could not heal from it.

The recovery program with other liked minded people helped me make much healthier choices.

No matter what happens in my life today the very last thing I want to do it gamble.

By me working my recovery program I am less angry.

By me working my recovery program I can expose more and more of myself.

By me working my recovery program I am less afraid.

By me working my recovery program I can exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

By me working my recovery program I can live my life today not feeling angry, not feeling afraid, not feeling alone.

By me working my recovery program I can live my life today not feeling lost and confused.

Each day not gambling I am able to do more with my life today.

Each day not gambling I am able to over come procrastination.

Was I a dysfunctional person before my recovery. Yes for sure.

Each day is a slow learning curve some times even slow baby steps.

Fear reduces trust grows.

My time is much more productive.

Less of my addictions and less obsessions leave me more time to do new things.

By me working my recovery program I write down daily my needs, I write down daily my wants and in time I write down daily my goals.

I use to be bored at life, today there is not enough hours in the day.

I use to dread waking up in the morning, I use to fear being mature, I use to fear the telephone ringing, I use to fear the post coming, I use to fear being myself, I use to fear emotional intimacy.

Today less procrastination and more willingness to achieve more with my life and my time.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.