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help with dealing with the shock of finding out - Printable Version

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help with dealing with the shock of finding out - Guest - 14-03-2010

I have just found out that my husband of 10 years has a massive gambling debt.

we have 3 children under the age of 9. i knew nothing of what has been going on other than i knew our money should have been going further that it was.

i only discovered this because he had to close his bank account and had to use mine for his wages, it was only then that i got the truth out of him.

he has 3 credit cards and 2 loans. we are getting help to sort these out and his wages now go into my account and i have taken his name off everything i can (my instant reaction was to make sure the bills will be paid and my kids taken care of), but i dont know what i do about us.

Its the enormaty of the lies and the lost of trust that kills me.

i believe for him it started when i was suffering v bad post natal depression with our 3rd child 3 years ago. i think we both just blocked eachother out to cope.

i really need to find a way to help and support him now, as we cant loose what we have.

i truly appreciate any help, advise or even just kind words at this point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you for taking the time to listen


Re: help with dealing with the shock of finding out - Guest - 16-03-2010

Since your husband has confessed to you, you have done all the right things like taking charge of the money - this is a very important step but you must be aware that us compulsive gamblers can be very sneaky and if still actively gambling can usually find ways of getting money to gamble with. Your husband needs to seek help and if you are near a gamblers anonymous meeting can go along and get the help there. There is also meetings for the families of compulsive gamblers at GamaNon and you can find this information on this site by going to the meeting section if not there you can ring the GA hotline.
I wish you and your family the best.
Helen