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Help plz - Guest - 21-03-2010

today is my first day of admittin what ive always known i got serious problems never been in so much debt and trouble my life is fallin to pieces and all i know is i cant take anymore.
All i do is hurt the ones i love i have a wonderfull girlfriend who still keeps stickin by me but i no she wont much longer even last 5 minutes i had to tell what i blown last night im fed up of feeling a failure and letting her and myself down all the time i also have a 18 month old daughter who i have on weekends and fed up never being able to do anything with her because of money problems which are all of my own doin.
Been gambling for years now but in last 6 to 8 months found the worst ever yes.....online
Why have i done all this and will i survive my problems, even been to ga meetings in the past ive tried so hard and failed so many times
Really wanna beat this so badly hate feeling this low my personality has gone my fun side has gone i hate myself so much
Going to my local ga meeting on wednesday and hope this time i can finally beat this for me my girl and my daughter
And hope i can start paying off all my mounting debts any advice would be great thanks every 1


Re: Help plz - Guest - 22-03-2010

Hi Trev

Best wishes for your GA meeting. Hope it does help you.

You sound as though you really have had enough this time.
The self loathing is typical. Do you remember what it feels like to actually like yourself? <!-- sSad --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_sad.gif" alt="Sad" title="Sad" /><!-- sSad -->

It probably took me about 6 to 9 months of being gamble free before I realised that I liked the person I was becoming. That was not an easy thing to do. It was worth it however.

Your daughter & your partner would undoubtedly prefer to be with you when you are happy.
Nothing worse than being around a persistently grumpy or morose person. You know youself that you are not enjoying life as it is. That, as you have said is caused by your gambling.

Life will get better. You have to be stronger than the urge! Those urges will diminish.

Always take it one day at a time. Or, if you like 1 hour at a time. Whatever works for you! <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->
Don't look too far in the future. You will put too much pressure on yourself.

Best wishes
Roy


Re: Help plz - Guest - 22-03-2010

Hi Trev, i am also a compulsive gambler, last bet august 2009. You can do it, one day at a time, but you have to do some physical deterrents no matter how hard - your partner has to control your cards, accounts etc if not her your father, anyone who understands compulsive gambling, then one day, one week, one month at a time. It hurts but youve got too much to lose especially as your partner is prepared to stand by you, this wont last for ever so come on take the plunge, more effort walk a different way avoid the bookies, online get the sites blocked cut your credit cards up etc etc. I cant believe my life now 7 months "clean". Good Luck Dave


Re: Help plz - Guest - 23-03-2010

Guest Wrote:Hi Trev, i am also a compulsive gambler, last bet august 2009. You can do it, one day at a time, but you have to do some physical deterrents no matter how hard - your partner has to control your cards, accounts etc if not her your father, anyone who understands compulsive gambling, then one day, one week, one month at a time. It hurts but youve got too much to lose especially as your partner is prepared to stand by you, this wont last for ever so come on take the plunge, more effort walk a different way avoid the bookies, online get the sites blocked cut your credit cards up etc etc. I cant believe my life now 7 months "clean". Good Luck Dave
Just like to say thanks 2 the both of you so much just debts now constantly hangin over my head hope to find a way with them to thanks


Re: Help plz - Guest - 29-03-2010

Hi Trev

The debts you speak of are a big problem undoubtedly. But as you have pointed out, the major issue is that you risk alienating your partner & your daughter. The way to fix this is to fix yourself first. If you feel better by not gambling, your partner will also feel better, which will make you feel better etc... snowball effect.

As for your debts. I have just taken back control of my finances after having someone else be in charge for the past 12 months. What a MESS !!!! <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: --> I have also done a budget for the first time in my life. I am a slow learner...52 years old. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: --> The reality is that I have to really tighten my spending habits. More than three quarters of my salary goes to paying off debts and the mortgage.
I am back to square one financially. I just have to come to terms with that.

Financially you may be better off then me (I don't know...none of my business) but the thing you have got to realise is that if you continue to gamble it WILL GET WORSE!!!! <!-- sConfusedhock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt="Confusedhock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- sConfusedhock: -->

One of the members at my GA meeting often remarks that she has not a penny to her name, owns nothing, BUT she is the happiest she has been in years. Why? She knows she is trying to right the wrongs she did when she was gambling.She likes herself again. She has self esteem.

Don't forget your GA meeting on wednesday!!!!

Best wishes
Roy