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Finally - Haze1985 - 25-05-2011

I have come on this site a few times and read other peoples stories and I convinced myself I was better than this and could sort this out by myself - I didn't need help. I have since realised it's not a case of being better than anyone, what an arrogant thing to even suggest, I was effectively justifying my gambling by comparing myself to others who I perceived to be worse than me (which obviously wasn't true or didn't matter).
Over the years I have become amazingly selfish and have developed an amazing skill for lying and justification. Again and again I convinced myself I did not have a problem. I have lost a fantastic relationship as she could not cope with me any longer and friends have certainly distanced themselves.
I believe I am finally ready to turn my back on this lifestyle and will be looking to attend regular meetings.