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newbie - spacekitty28 - 25-08-2011

Hi all, I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone is in a similar boat as me!

I'm a 30 year old single mum of 3 amazing kids, i am currently un-employed and single to boot so i have far too much time on my hands which is where my problem comes in! I have an addiction to online slots, I have spent hundreds this week, half of that was my sons secondary uniform grant, this has to be my lowest point as i have no idea how i am going to afford to buy him it now! i am so scared that i am going to spend all next weeks money i get on slots instead of his uniform to try and win back what i have lost!

I officially have no one, I had a huge row with my family back in march, and open the beans about all my problems which included my addiction and not one person out of my family has offered to help me. I spoke to my Dr about it and she is arranging for me to see a Councillor, which is all well and good, but in the mean time i am so depressed, i have a very small amount to last me til next weds, luckily my boys are away at the moment with there dads otherwise god knows how i am going to afford to feed them! I have also been smoking and eating more (please dont ask how i manage to smoke more on the budget i'm on, but i do, am up to nearly 40 fags a day which is a hell of a lot of money!)

I need some guidance and help, i cant stop crying and i am not sleeping at all at the moment due to my stress levels. I have stopped paying my bills, and went to court last month as the council wanted to evict me, luckily they set up a payment plan and this week i havent paid it, and i am so very scared, i am scared of myself and for my boys. I have been a regualr gambler for years, but has got a lot worse over the months and i dont know why!


Re: newbie - Roxannesins - 30-08-2011

Hello spacekitty.

I am moved by your post. I understand the stress and anquish you are experiencing.

I too am a single mother. I too didnt pay my bills or my rent and did get evicted. I couldn´t understand how I could be such a horrible person, a mother and all, and sacrificing everything... I tried to stop so many times, and even after I did get evicted, when I got a new apartment for me and my daughter, I went back to gambling and almost got evicted again, twice. I have done so many other horrible things too. Emotional damage, to my child, my family, my friends and myself.

Through GA I have come to realise that I have an illness, I am a compulsive gambler. For me this doesn´t mean that I am not responsible for what I have done, on the contrary, but most of all I am responsible to take my medicine to be able to choose a new path in life. Or basically to choose life. Gambling to me is all about escaping from life. GA for me is my medicin.

Going to a meeting might not sound that urgent to you right now, but this is the easiest way for you to receive understanding, support and perhaps even hope. You are not alone!

Love
Paula