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need to stop. - Gabrielnal - 04-09-2011

Hi all, just wanted to share my highs and lows that i have had over the last 2 months. My problem has been going on for about 10 years it was not anything big just the odd bet here or there but every now and then i would do a big bet, and 9 times out of 10 lose, but it got really bad a couple of months back, my other half was out and i had a bit of debt but had worked hard the week before, so thought i would play roulette within a few hours i was down a lot, and near tears, so put another large amount in my account and put it all on odd, and got it back with intrest, i have never felt so good at the time of having won a big lump of money. The other thing i was thinking my other half is expecting a baby later on this year, so i was thinking well that was easy, i will try and get some more and we will be ok, how wrong was i, was up, that was enough for us to survive, but i loved the thought of winning and got greedy and wanted more, i thought if i could win just a litte a day we would be ok. that money went and within 2 months i had gambled a hue amount for me, so i had 1 more bet but i was not satsfied with winning here and there i lost big so wanted it all back, i did get it all back about 10 days ago turned it into loads, and the feeling was increadble i wont lie, but i wanted more, i was debt free and looking to buy a car, but had a few days of work this week and thought i won that much i will do it again, won another amount but had one last big bet and i said this is it iam done, lost, and that was it, I lost that plus another large amount, everyone will say yeah but you have some left, but the problem is not the money for me its going to my partner and having to explain, yeah all that cash i won its almost gone, but at the time i didnt care, i just wanted it back, i have never felt like this when you win you are very high but when you lose, no matter how much the low is awful, have never felt like this, am going to a GA meeting this Tuesday, because i just can't stop as i am writing this i have an urge to bet big and get it all back, but with a girlfriend i adore and a baby on the way i really need to stop.

Re: need to stop. - Gabrielnal - 07-09-2011

hi all, went to my first meeting last night, all i can say is if you are thinking about it dont, just go, i am so happy i went, everyone made me feel welcome and it was good to know that i am not alone in all this.

Today thou is not going well having some massive urge to bet, not because of the meeting, but because i have worked out how much i was up, only last friday, i am talking silly money, why could i not just walk away, got so much guilt, anger and hate towards my self, i was set for life no more trying to find cash to pay bills, buy a car, i had it all, but as a gambler i allways wanted more, that is my problem i dont when i should quit, the plus side is that if i didnt lose i might of lost more, but i will always hate myself for not getting out at the right time.


Re: need to stop. - wangman28 - 07-09-2011

Just wonted to let you know your not the only one. who won a lsrge sum and turned it in to a lose.
I did. and the sad thing is i done it aleast ten times.
But try not to beat your self up.if you had not of lost on that day would have happend the following week.
Such is the nature of are illness.all the best with your recovery.

Re: need to stop. - dougal - 14-09-2011

Well done imachaser.As other posts have said you always want another big win.
Im a CG and I did the same as you.Win money everythings rosie , go for a big gamble to sort me out for the longterm but no I lost the lot.
Its painful living a lie to youre family I know because Ive done it.Keep strong .take the usual 1 day at atime mentality and I hope you realise that youre not alone mate.