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Time to Change - Printable Version

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Time to Change - Guest - 27-10-2011

So here I am, finally admitting that I have an addiction, and have done for some time. It all started when I stumbled across a web site advertisement for an online site. At first I was really pleased with the small wins and took the money. But as time went on I started to win more money, stay on the site for longer, and eventually lose everything. That's pretty much how each episode is now when I visit the site, deposit, play, win, lose. Always telling myself that I will take the money, but for some reason, never listening. It seems that all I can think about is when I am getting paid, counting down the days so that I can gamble, or who I can ask to borrow money from and get my next fix. I am so ashamed, for all my close family and friends that really do not know how bad my addiction had got, and all the lies I have told, and it's a secret that I really do not want to have to share. I am dissapointed with myself that I have let this take hold of me, but I will not let this addiction get the better of me. Constantly checking bank accounts, constantly overdrawn, bills not being paid, telephone ringing haven't paid a bill, borrowing money, the list is endless which I know is all down to one thing - gambling. So, today I have made a start to change, i have come to this web site, and hope that this is just the beginning to my recovery. 4 years since I registered on a gambling web site, thousands of pounds down, thousands of pounds owed, it does not make me happy and I know that only I can change that, I hope that I can do it.