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the start - theda75 - 07-01-2012
hi to all.this is my first post i have been gambling for 20 years and it has taken me to the brink of no longer wanting to be around my life has really gone to the level which i didnt think possible all for gambling sitting in those shops feeling paranoid playing the roullette wheel having people watching you and telling you what to do on there even though you have just done thousands or what ever i have always valued my friends who have been a part of my life for 20 years they have all had enough of me which im devastated about but fully understand.my brother has said thats the end of our relationship which is a shame...oh and my poor wife has been through hell yet stands tall and has said this is it you must do this now which is just amazing i have always loved her so much and have always made her feel special yet i have still binge with the gambling which i am ashamed of.my mother my poor mum all she wants is her son back not this deceatful, untrusting, scheming ,lost man.all this for what the release of nothing but pain.i have just started with the ga meetings i am 2 weeks clean i would like to say i never realised how powerful these meeting are people that are you, people that can help you people with wisdom.i beleive that i can do this with a lot of hard work and honesty i can do this .and regain my life for me and my family to have a normal life .i must start to love myself again and love life.............
Re: the start - Tomso - 13-01-2012
Theda75,
Roulette is a brutal game for a compulsive gambler. I can relate to what you say about sitting in the bookies feeling paranoid whilst playing that dreadful game. I started to post on this site last August, which is when I decided I would never set foot in another bookmakers ever again. I accepted that I was powerless over roulette and gambling in general and knew then that I had to stop. I accepted my losses, drew a line under my past and moved on with an overwhelming feeling of positivity about my future. My life is so much more enjoyable without gambling that my only regret is that I didn't find this site earlier in life because the support and understanding I have taken from this site set me on my way and continues to remind me every day of the type of person I want to be and the person I used to be.
Nobody really likes to give advice but the best thing I do in my recovery is visit this site every day. I read the stories of people in recovery and the stories of people trying to recover. This is the best therapy for me. I hope it works for you too.
I wish you well.
Tomso.