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Please can you help or advise - cooty1978 - 06-12-2013

I need some help ,I am 35 i started gambling at 16 ,i dont need to bore you with my loses as you well know it destroys you and family ,i gave up a year and 2 months ago and was going to ga meeting 2 weeks ago i broke out i went back to ga came out the meeting gambled again i have gambled 3 time since and still going ga my betting is not on betting shops online casinos slots ,how can i stop all this im due a baby with my gf in 5 weeks i have not hidden the fact im gambling but its ruining me finacially and i do not want to lose the trust i have if i give my bank card to gf i ask for it back i dont want to gamble i just do it till i lose every penny untill i have more money in the bank any advise would be great im going again to ga monday but its like i have just got a bloke or something going on .


Re: Please can you help or advise - BigDave - 06-12-2013

Hello.

There is nobody and nothing in GA that will physically stop you from gambling. GA is all about self help, it is up to you to adhere to or instigate the suggestions made to you. It is not going to be done for you.

If you give your card to your girlfriend and she gives you it back when you ask for it, that clearly does not work. Maybe you should make her aware of how severe this problem with gambling is. Handing over finances means exactly that. Getting someone else to look after your finances entirely.

First you have to figure out a way to trust yourself and what you can do to make that happen.

My advice to you is, the next meeting you go to, make sure you go there with an open mind. Ask questions, especially from members who have been off gambling for a long period. They might tell you things you might not want to hear but in order to kick this habit you gotta 'go against the grain;. PRACTICE the suggestions from pages 30-31 of the orange book.

Big Dave


Re: Please can you help or advise - smartie - 06-12-2013

BigDave Wrote:There is nobody and nothing in GA that will physically stop you from gambling. GA is all about self help, it is up to you to adhere to or instigate the suggestions made to you. It is not going to be done for you.

True Dave, but there is so much help in GA if people want it...

GA is a spiritual organization which offers me a programme of recovery I work to the best of my ability...

Took me a long time to start working the 12 step programme but it makes a fantastic difference now i do...

There's loads of booklets in GA about this Cooty...why not read them?

Maybe get a sponsor and start working through the programme?

choice is yours....

Any questions just ask
Smartie xx


Re: Please can you help or advise - cooty1978 - 06-12-2013

Thankyou for your reply dave

I have no problem with cash in my pocket as i stated ,i was so strong i hatted betting shops and online betting i cant get away from it its on the tv and computer etc ,Yes is down to me and i keep saying no but i still do it as for the ga meeting its good but i like new people coming in as it makes you relfect on what you was like or what could happen or happening ,we have a member 37 years off ,not many people text or contact each other at the group but i must admitt a few do speak to others but they are very tight nit so you few and they really dont want to let anyone in there little cirle


Re: Please can you help or advise - BigDave - 07-12-2013

As you have already mentioned, you have broken out a few times already, so having access to your money obviously must be a problem.

You came hear asking for advice. Without knowing your entire story, and not that I know everything there is to know, there are a number of things as have already been said that are common-place when stopping gambling (and staying stopped!). There were many things that were suggested to me when I first started attending meetings that I did not adhere to. I dismissed suggestions made to me as it was too easy to come up with an excuse why I should be doing these things. The truth is it was my addiction talking and I couldn't see it.

I understand that many of the members at the meeting you attend don't contact each other, it doesn't mean you have to follow suit. If your meeting has a phone list use it. If it doesn't, get a few numbers off other members you feel comfortable talking to and phone them. We all carry an addiction around with us 24 hours a day for 7 days a week, does anyone really think that just by attending one meeting for 2 hours each week, and not putting a great deal of effort in, that the task of stopping gambling will be just plain sailing?!

I would talk about how you are struggling in your therapy at your next meeting. Ask for help at your meeting.

There is a great amount of help in GA for the struggling member (as Smartie mentioned) but it is not forced upon the individual, as I mentioned, you have to seek it out yourself. Nobody is going to do your recovery for you.

Concentrate on putting the fire out first and then maybe attempt the recovery program.

Big Dave