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How can recovery program help me be healthy and complete. - gadaveuk - 01-04-2015

My Name is Dave of Beckenham. I am becoming healthier in a spiritual way. Yet I am not a religious person.

I did not have a choice before entering the spiritual recovery program.

I was very unhealthy escaping in every way and I did not know it.

Just for today I will not gamble is a boundary that says I value myself today.

The spiritual recovery program was going to help me help myself becoming stronger and make healthier choices.

The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I had certain emotional triggers I could not cope with.

Because of very painful emotional and physical abuse my life was emotionally unmanageable long before my addictions

How productive am I today, do I understand and fullill my healthy needs and fullill my healthy wants.

Am I able to give myself approval and increase my ability to absorb information and advice in an healthy way.

Then just for today became I will now become more healthy and more productive in many healthy ways.

Can I ask for help and advice, am I opening up to the fact I am not always healthy or have all the correct answers to life and people.

As I got more healthy my time is more productive.

My unhealthy reaction is anger was an indicator that I had not healed from the pains of my past, in time I would understand that my anger was an unhealthy reaction to my pains and an unhealthy reaction to my fears, and an unhealthy reaction to my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of life and people.

In time I was going to appreciate the serenity prayer even though I am not a religious person.

I am not able to change another person the only person I can change is myself.

People including myself use to blame other people for how they felt, today if people are angry do I automatically think their anger is my responsibility.

At what time in my life did I start to bury and suppress my pains, at what time in my life did I start to live in fear and not be able to speak out for myself.

In sponsoring am I open to a two way street of sharing, are my beliefs changing as I grow.

Do I in any way try to control or regulate other people, do I allow other people to live their life their own way.

Can I say in any way I am healthy today.

Do I try to justify my actions today.

Do I think it is important to prove I am right in any way.

Is being right more important than my relationships with other people.

Do I take it personally if other people beliefs do not agree with mine.

People pushing their beliefs on to other people is an indicator of how insecure they are with in them self.

Do I need to prove a point to any one today.

In understanding spiritual values do I practice those values in my life today.

I use to feel that my feelings were controlled by other people and life.

Today I am not willing to let fear inhibit me from getting the very best from life.

My addictions a d obsessions were just a very clear indicator that I could not cope with life and people.

My purpose today is to be very selfish and for me to become the healthiest I can be.

There is nothing I can do or say to change my past.

I am very selfish in my recovery today, my recovery is the most important thing in my life today.

Taking the easy escape option is not my way today.

I wished far to much of my time away before recovery.

I am able to listen and learn today, I am able to ask for help today, I am able to admit my ignorance today.

My resentments were an indicator that I was unable to heal my pains.

My vengeful thoughts were an indicator that I was unable to heal my pains.

My hatred was an indicator that I was unable to heal my pains.

My feeling the victim was an indicator that I was unable to heal my pains.

My not feeling loved was an indicator that I was filled with fears.

How much do I value myself today.

I am still eager to get things done yet the rain still delays me getting things done.

Accepting the serenity prayer helps me in so many ways.

In being in the spiritual recovery program I am able to understand other people being unhealthy because I see myself as I was in the past.

Before entering the spiritual recovery program I really did not have a choice but to turn towards unhealthy habits.

My unhealthy reaction to life and people started from a very early age.

I was for sure a victim from a very early age.

Yet over time I became the perpetrator in so many ways.

Being a victim has nothing to do about physical size or sex.

Being a victim was me not being able to speak up for myself.

I am able to be a healthier person today because of the things I have learned being in my recovery.

I do not and did have to take up religion to become healthy.

Yet over time I would grow to learn spiritual values.

In the spiritual recovery program we are all equals.

It is a simple fact that I was very ignorant as to how the spiritual recovery would work for me.

I have invested a great deal of time and energy keeping at my recovery and in the healing process.

I felt like a victim for so long in my life living in the pains of my past.

Reacting in such unhealty ways, now I am able to interact with people and life a healthy whole some life.

Being so over sensitive and getting angry was an indicator I was unable to heal my pains.

Shirley & I have been so busy in getting things done in time allowed.

I do not have a desire to gamble which is strange because I use to feel I had no choice but to gamble before recovery.

Step one for me was about understanding my emotional triggers.

My unhealed pains use to cause me to be angry.

My fears use to cause me to be angry.

My frustrations use to cause me to be angry.

My loneliness use to cause me to feel very vulnerable.

Me not having a healthy full life caused me to feel bored and unchanged.

Gratitude was some thing that was missing from my life at one time.

For me today as I became healthier my values changed.

All the time I was focused on status money and material items.

Today my relationships with people are what is important to me.

Over time I recognized that I felt isolated and lonely and then recognized my fears and also my fear of intimacy with people.

I certainly lived a large period of my life unable to heal and nurture my pains.

Every traumatic unresolved painful periods of my life left me with unrecognizable fears in my adult hood.

One of the most inhibiting fears was that of rejection and abandonment.

I am able to live a healthy life today and my values change as I mature.

Some people think that you have to be religious to be a spiritual person, That is not so.

Our conscience is very much spiritual based.

When we hurt other people in any way we hurt our self.

Yesterday we were very productive as a team. I am more useful these days.

There was a time when I wished my life away, I was afraid of living and afraid of dying.

I use to think and feel that I loved gambling, the illusion of love was because it gave me excitement and such an adrenaline rush.

Today I am stable and realxed and not living on the edge of my nerves.

Usually I caused myself a lot of pain due to my unreasonable expectations of life and of other people.

When people were angry or upset I took their issues on board.

My resentments and being over sensitive told me that I was not able to or not able to heal my pains.

It has been over two years since my mums death and yet I now feel more at peace with her than ever before in my life.

What do we class as being successful, money material thing, or is it bout being more spiritual and content with who we are where we are an knowing we do the very best we can do in any thing we try our hand at.

Once in my journey of recovery there was more success and less failure.

In fact my theory is that every thing in ou rlife is a test of our steel.

How we deal with life tests is a measure of our recovery and how healthy we are today.

Shirley & I are both working hard to get things done in our time.

Rain stops play of course that is time to relax and enjoy what we have and who we are today.

I am looking forward to being at the 50th Celebration of GA in the UK at Basildon Essex.

I did not have a clue how important the spiritual recovery program was going to have on me.

I walked in to the recovery program emotionally traumatized, not able to see any thing clearly.

My questions were due to my insecurity I had learned to live my life on the edge of my nerves.

With each lie came more fear, in time I was able to get honest with myself.

No matter when a person had their last bet, I am an equal to them.

I am able to be more accountable to myself today.

I understand most aspects of the recovery program.

My motives for doing things are not resentful, I do things willingly.

I am not torn a part with rage and anger, I am content with myself today.

I was not stupid bad or evil, I was just a very weak vulnerable unhealthy person.

I am doing well and trying to have full healthy productive days yet while respecting my physical limits.

I do not want or need to gamble today.

The obsessions and addictions were an indicator that I had poor resolve in how I felt with in myself.

Fear was a way of me protecting myself

I no longer want to live in fear any more.

I do not fear the gambling establishments today.

I use to say that I wanted to be normal.

Today I want to be healthier than normal.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave Of Beckenham

Re: How can recovery program help me be healthy and complete - smartie - 01-04-2015

Love that GA offers me this daily recovery program....
thanks Smartie xx