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Addicted student
I've finally decided to come onto this site, and seek help. Im becky and im 22 nearly 23 and Im an addicted to gambling. I know this is a really unattractive trait in a woman, but I literally cannot help myself. I have read some of the other posts on this forum, and a lot of them ring true to how I am feeling. I have also read the section about student gambling, which seems to have affected me. I am in my 3rd and final yr of uni, and its only now in my 3rd yr that gambling has taken its toll on me. I have always bet on horses- I enjoy going to the races, which I have often found harmless fun gambling- I never take more than a few pounds to the races, and usually win small amounts, but if i haven't won, I have walked away and still had a good day none the less. However I then began going into the bookies and betting on the horses in there and various race meetings, i'd even bet on virtual races, which were obviously a fix. Even so I still didn't bet great amounts. Since about August/September last year I have since become addicted to roulette and other games. I have an online account, and became addicted to roulette. I'd think about it all the time, and began crediting almost everyday. I loved the thrill of when I did win, and usually always withdrew it as I knew i'd made a profit. However things began to get worse, and if I did win I tended to bet that money and try and win more, to try and get the thrill of winning again. I would then end up losing it, and credit more money to try and re-coup my losses- obviously online roulette was never going to work in my favour, and I kept losing more and more money. I now play on roulette inside the book makers too, and find myself putting every last penny in the machine, each time thinking that I am going to win. The worse day for me was on new years day. Over christmas time I had made myself money on playing roulette online on my account, obviously I was chuffed with that, however I kept it in my account rather than withdrawing it.. On New Years eve my sort-of boyfriend changed my password to prevent me from gambling anymore and losing my winnings. However I managed to retrieve my password on new years day and thats where it all went wrong. I discovered an online slot machine game a couple of days earlier. I ended up losing my entire winnings, and felt physically sick. I was so disgusted at myself for losing that money that I ended up crediting more, and was betting about on roulette, covering different sections, red/even etc. I managed to almost recover my money , but I ended up playing it all, I was shaking, I felt sick, and ashamed, but I was still positive that I was due a win and could recover my losses. I credited more and lost that too. I felt so angry/ ashamed/anxious and sick. The previous thrills of winning seemed so distant, and I was disgusted at myself for losing that amount of money. It may not seem a lot to some people, but as a student the amount is a ridiculous amount of money to lose in one day (well in a space of an hr). Since that day I have still been gambling online/ in the bookies , which obviously all mounts up. I really need some help, because I am continuing to gamble, and am just addicted to the machines now. I really need some help, my mum recently opened one of my bank statements and saw only a fraction of the money I have gambled online. I'm addicted and I know I am, and all my money is going. Any suggestions? I'm at uni in Sheffield, should I attend a meeting there?
hi, becky.really sorry to here your forty years old,and have been gambling for twenty years and its brought me nothing but misery,you are young enough and bright enough to stop.the gambling has you beaten and you cannot go back.i attend meetings and they are for me my life line.please get to a meeting,the people there are just the same as will be made very welcome.i can assure you once you go to a meeting your life and thoughts will be more positive,its not always about the money,emotions play a big part in gambling and having support is vital,i wish you god speed and a bet free future.i will leave you with a saying,when you need a meeting walk to one,when you dont need a meeting run to one.all the best becky let me know your future progress.
Hi Becky,

Your final question contains the answer.

YES, you should go to a meeting. You are in Sheffield at the moment, there is a meeting on Sunday evening 1930 hours at Croft House Settlement on Garden Street. Its not far from the West Bar police station and easy walking from the city centre. There is also one on a Friday morning 1000 to 12 noon, Room 50, Victoria Methodist Church, Victoria Hall, Chapel Walk. Both have maps online - click on the meetings tab, then go down to Sheffield then click on the blue "click for map" writing.

Make a commitment to your future and attend. There are also meetings on an evening across Yorkshire, all accessible by public transport - if you have your own wheels its well worth getting to a meeting further afield if you need to. After all, whats a tank of fuel compared to a spot of gambling? As you have found gambling is now more than a bit of harmless fun (as Teresa Jowell, the then Culture Secretary, once famously described it whilst leaning over a roulette table).
Please note Gamblers Anonymous is not affiliated to any demonimation, politics or institution, does not endorse nor oppose any causes, our primary purpose is to stop our gambling and to help other compulsive gamblers do the same.
It is taking over your whole life. It is affecting personal relationships, stealing time from your studies, probably keeping you from going "home" due to awkward questions to answer and time/money to go.

There is no substitute for meetings.

Get yourself along. You will meet people who have been where you are right now and they are getting their lives back.

The road to recovery starts with a single step.

Kind regards.

'Poster' David (Barnsley)
Hi Becky,

I am at uni in sheffield doing a masters degree. I lost alot of money about 2 years ago and went to a ga meeting back where i lived in Chester. I went ofr over a year and didnt have a bet. I moved to sheffield in august and now live with my girl friend. However i have started to bet again and lost alot of money and cant afford my rent or anything. She now knows and was very angrey and is close to leaving me. My mum and dad have ahad to bail me out again and they cant belive i have gambled again. I would say yes get to meeting it will defo help. I need to attedn one to as my life is back to a mess and effecting my degree.

Hope things get better for you

becky we have a meeting sundays in sheffield the address and map are on here come down and even if its only to chat you will find it helps.
come down and see what happens you never know you may start to get your live back from this addiction we suffer.
take care
The best way with this illness is honesty and the fact you know you have a problem is the first step the second is doinig something about it. Yes forget weather you are a lady or a man its not an attractive trait in either get to a meeting stay at a meeting and life will change for the better in a relative short tme. I myself am now a year in to recovery and life is so much better. You sound as if life can be very good to you get an education,boyfreind and
familly because without gambling this is possible. FINALLY TAKE CONTROLL THIS CAN BE DONE BY SMALL STEPS AT A TIME . GP
Regardless of the amount you gamble,it WILL take everything from you.The money will become irrelevant,it is the mental torure and destruction it will cause you,if you dont arrest the disease.
We are all the same as compulsivegamblers and if you continue,you will have a life full of sadness,pain,misery and loneliness.So If you can try and get to the GA meetings,take the medicine,it does work and thats coming from someone who thought there was absolutely no hope.There is and I wish you good luck to arrest this killer disease.
Hey Becky, i noticed your post as soon as i logged onto this forum for the first time and i knew immediatly what i was going to read when i clicked on it. You see, im 24 now, and became addicted to gambling when i was at uni like yourself. First it was fruit machines, then the bigger fruit machines, then fruit machines online and finally the Fixed Odds Betting Terminals in the bookies (yes, thats what they're really called!!). My addiction nearly ruined my degree and had devastating financial and emotional consequences that im still feeling today. Your addiction is going to destroy you if you dont do something about it and thats a fact. Im speaking harshly here, but out of experience, its absolutely paramount that you take action.

Im going to be straight to the point about what you must do: First people have pointed out that you have a local meeting somewhere nearby, you need to go to that and not try the typical gambler things of making excuses about distance, or being the only woman etc. Sorry, it may sound rude of me to make assumptions of you like this but i know gamblers, i am one, and i know your subconscious mind will try to prevent you from going. You must not let it! Secondly you can get good computer software to block online gambling, permanently. Its hidden and irremovable and also quite cheap. Google and download. You can also self exclude yourself from all the bookies as im sure they'll tell you in the meetings, but this is the most difficult thing of all to do because it involves going in and asking. They legally have to exclude you if you ask but some bookmakers attempt to make this deliberately hard for people to do. The reason for this is they dont want to lose such a large source of income, but im sure you have no desire to be that source of income either - im sure you have ambitions of your own, things you want to achieve in life. I gotta tell you honestly, you'll never do any of those things if you keep gambling i swear it. I've seen some truly horrific things that gambling has done to people and i really dont want to see somebody so young go down that path as i nearly did.

You've been very strong by coming on here and admitting to having a problem, i meant to say that at the start - sorry! But now you need to take this further. Nobody important needs to know about your problem if you dont want to tell them but you cannot afford to do nothing. Best of luck Becky, let us know what happens.

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