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My husband is a gambler - HELP!
#11
thankyou so much for your reply i think it is up to my husband to get help and even though this has all been going on for years and years it was only recently i relised i cant do it for him he has to help himself.i have always been there to pick up the pieces and sort the mest of the whole thing out .I have had to work really really hard to keep our heads above water with bills so does my husband i do feel resentful about this because we have no spare cash at all and we havent even had a hoilday anywhere for 4 years sometimes life is no fun living with a gambler ....I dont think the gamblers out there could ever know how bad it is for there families otherwise they really would never ever gamble again.....
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#12
Hi today i caught my husband in the betting shop,i am working all the hours i can so our 4 kids can have nice things in life,at the moment i cant stand him,he is making me fill ill,he told me he had only done a few pounds bet,that just makes it worse as think whats the point,ive tried taking is bank card making him feel a child but it dosnt help,please someone help save my marriage <!-- sCry --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cry.gif" alt="Cry" title="Crying or Very Sad" /><!-- sCry -->
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#13
hello. in the same boat as many of you. my husband is in prison due to stealing huge amounts from his workplace and blowing it in one day at the bookies. he then took an overdose. i was in bits worrying about our two sons, 3 and 6 yrs. he hasn't lived with us since it happened. i found out that over our 10yrs together he gambled all the time. i thought he had a brain tumour as he said he kept having blackouts. no he didn't, he was in the bookies. i don't get how he needed to gamble? putting it in front of our family. i'm a loving, caring wife and haven't done a thing wrong. well, he should be out around 18th December. By then, i would have to live in rented living as the state is after recouping the money he stole. With this and other debt, loans, credit cards etc, the house will go.
so, i'm stuck as a single mum feeling angry, sad and lonely. i don't trust my husband. but have feelings of love for him. family tell me to leave him. confused!!! got an 8 page letter today but, my emtions are so shut down its hard to read.
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#14
<!-- sSad --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_sad.gif" alt="Sad" title="Sad" /><!-- sSad --> First they have to acknowledge theirsevles ,then at no point should you ever ever let them have any access to cards cash of any sort....trust me we are on our 4th time of him being found out it is soul destroying when your head knows they should leave but you love them so much ,especially if basically they are good people....then you need help to make sure you have others to talk to.
you have to become the parent and I think now it for the lifetime of you being together
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#15
Hi,

my husband is a gambler also and I too thought that there was light at the end of the tunnel, we have 1 child so I have some idea how you are feeling. Things were under control but they have taken a turn for the worse with the start of online gambling. He dosen't know that I know and I too have asked leading questions already knowing the answer and have been blatently lied to. How do I confront him?
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#16
hi nat, just read your post, it has me tears as i just put my husband out last nite, it was the last thing i wanted to do, miss him loads and when he rang me in middle of the nite and ask if he could come home it broke my heart and i have my little 4 year old asking whens daddy coming home and i almost gave in but i now know i have to let him know i will not live like this anymore for me or my two children who are 14 and 4. lve been with him 11 years but have only know about his gambling a few years when he gambled our hoilday money away but promised me it would never happen again. i believed him to then find out a few months later from my brother he was still at it. lve heard all the same stuff finding betting slips and being told there for a friend and he only went in the bookies for a friend. when i stayed with him the 2nd time he promised me he would give me all his money every week, i told him if he walked back in a bookies door that would be it for sure. so this week money was missin he told me he lent to his sister, i had a bad feelin about this so rang her to find he didnt, when i said to him he lied to my face 4 times saying he had this was the first time he stood and lied to me, when i knew it was a lie for sure and that hurt so much. i really feel like ive lost the man i love and dont no how to get him back. he still denys gambling that money but there have been so many lies, how can i believe anything he says anymore, am just fed up being made to feel am blowing things out of proportion, most of all i somehow feel ive been a bad wife, if i had been better maybe he could have talked to me before it went this far. would love to hear from other people as it might help me understand this a bit more.
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#17
HI AND WELCOME TO THE FORUM WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU AND GIVE ALL THE SUPPORT U NEED WHATEVER IT FOR YOU OR FOR YOUR HUSBAND, NOT MANY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU

MY NAME IS STEPHEN I AM A COMPSLIVE GAMBLER MY LAST BET WAS BACK IN 2004 YOUR HUSBAND HAVE GO TO ADMIT TO HIMNE SELF THAT HE AS THE PROBLEM WITH GAMBLING AND THAT HE NEEDS HELP SOMETIMES IF YOU PUSH HIM TO THE THE MEETINGS IT NOT GOOD FOR HIM HE AS GOT TO DO IT FOR HIMSELF FIRST

THEY ARE MEETINGS WHERE YOU CAN BOTH GO AND THEN YOU CAN SUPPORT HIM KEEP COMMING INHERE TO KEEP US UPDATE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

YOUR FRIEND IN GA STEPHEN
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#18
Hi, my husband (of 5 weeks) is a compulsive gambler. My major dilemma is
that he is in COMPLETE denial. As I am at the end of my tether I looked at the website and I have read the posts in this forum. I find I can relate to so many of the comments. I have been with my husband for 5 1/2 yrs and this is a second marriage for both of us. I have 2 children ages 14 and 10 and we have a daughter age 3.

My husband lies about everything. He tells me he is going to the shop and it takes
4 - 5 hrs for him to come back. He tells me he has no money but (because of
my suspicions re him gambling) on going thro' his pockets I find money and
bookie dockets. I know he has friends who gamble online etc and he is spending
more and more time with them as he currently has no work (he is a self-employed
electrician). Yesterday he went to the shop to get a pie for dinner. He was gone and hour and came back empty handed. On his return I was on the phone and he left the house without saying anything and returned with the pie 10 mins later.Later that afternoon he went to pick up my 10 yr old from school. He left her at the top of the street (4 doors away from our house) to walk on down and disappeared off on his own. He didnt return until 11 pm that nite. I went through his pockets when he was asleep and found bookie dockets and money. He has sold jewellery (belonging to himself) but lied about doing so telling me its in his bedside drawer (and its not its gone).

Currently we are in financial difficulty but awaiting the clearance in the bank of a cheque he has obtained from an injury at work claim (ligitimate) but I am EXTREMELY concerned about what is going to happen when he has access to this money (considering he gambled the money he got from the settlement of his divorce and sale of his home).

On going thro' websites on Gambling Issues I realise I have been tackling everything the wrong way. I lose the rag with him, I point out all his flaws and generally go in to a major rant. I can't cope with this much longer and he really is going to end up losing us all. The lies he tells are so ridiculous and the amount of time doing all this is every single day bar none.
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#19
This weekend I confronted my husband about his gambling. Up until now I have gone alone with it but the losses are to dear. i fear now our marriage will be the latest casualty - can anybody help me... or him?
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#20
Hi i have been reading your post and can relate in so many ways, me and my partner been together for 11years, met as teenagers, he had a gambling problem when i met him as a young girl i had no idea about the illness. few years into our relationship he said he wanted to go ga and i went with him still a bit unsure of this addiction, wasnt long before he stopped going , year after year our realtionship got worse i got on with my life feeling he didnt want to spend time with me always letting me down. only time we would be happy was on holiday (guess there was no arcades for him to run to). then i had our daughter 3 years ago and all my attension focused on her he spent more time away , excuses after excuses where his money had gone n would go mad if i didnt beleive him, i would think i was wrong for not beleiving him, one time i remember he had hundreds to go and buy a car went out for hours and hours, i kept ringing and ringing him to get no reply when he did return he said "i left the money with the lad i can pick the car up next week" , the next week came he rang me and said you never guess wat the boy smashed the car up he had canelled the insurance as i was buying it but the worst thing he spent my money and hasnt got it to pay me back and i actually did beleive that!!!!. Anyhows a year ago he left me saying i didnt show him any love and was always on his case, he no freedom, i was heartbroken then few months later came aross a Gam anon booklet they had give me all those years ago and then it all clicked why how realtionship been so bad and i actually realzied this illness, i tried to explain to him and said i would be by his side to help him however he pushed me away. the gambling has got 100 times worse as he thinks e dont have to explain to me where he has been and where is money has gone we got back together a few times he has broke down saying he realizes he needs help but avoids attending meetings, then wen things are looking good he will disappear for the weekend , i am struggling but i have to step out his life and he needs to turn to G/A for himself he now at a point that he thinks he no good for me or his daugheter, however will love him some much and want to be a happy family but e just not changing:-(. everyday i think ov it. i handle it alot better now thou, pay day comes knowing he going to let us down i would normally keep ringing on send a nasty msg now i dont and he realizing his own mistakes and has no way ov blaming me as i am not in the wrong( he was very good at putting all his guilt onto me and it hurts) i would love to go to gam anon again feel i understand the program alot better now. i hope i do get my family back he is suh a wonderful guy always said if only he didnt gamble but no now he always will unless he goes to G.A.
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