14-02-2010, 12:01 PM
Today I have quit gambling, I never knew there was such a support group, I never realised it was such a life changing thing to be addicted to gambling. I'm about to ask my girlfriend to sit down and read all of the stories here, maybe so she can understand the way it catches you, makes you feel, and sickens you to the stomach and makes you shake with fear in the realisation of what you have done. But, for the whole time you spend gambling, or the minutes or hours leading up to it, you donât mean to be selfish, self involved or careless, you just are. You literally are in your own little world; nothing else enters your head, taking money into an arcade with a âset limitâ, or setting a time to leave means nothing when you leave broke, not because you meant to, but because no rational thoughts enter your head, the thinking of stopping, or what time it may be isnât even there, no-one except the machine in front of you. Itâs like a trance. I canât promise to instantly stop, but with all my will I'll stay stopped until the meeting this week, my first, and to be honest I'm scared. I think she knows how much of a problem it is, but itâs not something I've opened up about, mainly because I am a logical person, and to me, gambling, and being addicted to it and not being in control makes no sense, so how can I explain it to another. Things are tight financially; I support us both, or should be, but the tighter things get the more I want to gamble to make things easier, which in turn makes things worse, you can see the cycle, as I have read with many other peoples storyâs. I'm trying to give up, so if you are reading this please try and give up too, there are many people like us who need help, and we can give it to each other, I might be scared, but I am also looking forward to the meeting this week, and being free of this disease. I know it wonât be instant or easy but I will go for it whole heartedly. Take care, and remember, an addiction can be beaten.