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at last i went to a meeting

I have been gambling on and off for 6 years. It started on a fruit machine in a bowling alley, i thought nothing of it at the time but the stakes soon began to get more and more because the progression started from the small prize machines up to the biggest prize ones. At the time it was thought of as being nothing better that winning the jackpot, and looking like the bees knees to everyone around me, as i have never had a great circle of friends all of a sudden it felt like people took notice of me as the girl that kept winning the money. Little did people no and how i was kidding myself i was staking more in the keep than actually winning. Soon everything became out of control, my bank account was wiped out, my childhood savings had gone and a large overdraft was soon created ( which was rather sad as before that i had completed 3 years a University with no debt). The problem then occured that i had been so sucked up and in my own gambling world i did not realise that i had missed for 3 months to pay a very important direct debit, a letter arrived in the post threatening court action and before i new it i had no other choice but to tell someone so i visited my dad, i was completely honest with him and explained all about my gambling, but honest i was not because once the problem of the unpaid bill was solved i soon started lying to myself and everyone around me again, but then my dad informed my mum and for 6 months my actions seemed to be corrected i paid my debt of and invested in a new car, good things carried on for sometime. Until January 2010 things springs spiralled down hill for me and i went back to gambling, a month wages could be gone in less than 3 days. This month the massiveness of my compulsive gambling hit home i got my wages on the 24th went straight into town on that lunch hour spent half of it, was late back to work got told of for that found myself making up yet more lies, by the eve of the 25th all my wages had gone, but the big problem arose this month when i found myself rifling through my mums things to get my one saving book i had only with a small amount of money in with the best intention i went of down there so i could get the money for my board etc but what did i do, drew money out and went straight on the machines in the betting shop.

After this incident i went home thing month spent two days very upset with myself to the point where i was sick. I texted my mum while on she was on holiday affecting her holiday aswell to let her no what i had done. I decided after his after her returning on monday that i needed to sort myself and start living a life again and not a life of lies. I vowed to myself and my mum that i would attend my first GA meeting on Tuesday this week which i did. Hearing other peples stories and the emotion that people go through made me feel so much more positive and i realised i dont need to hide the truth and live in my own world any longer, with the betting shop rubbing there hands together everytime i go in because they no the profits would rise that day. I now feel i can be honest with myself as i have now accepted i am a compulsive gambler and i need to help. I am going to move onwards and upwards from here because it is not me that ever wins the bookies as the one still in business not me who nearly wiped myself out.

I hope i overcome gambling as i am promising myself to make it to a holiday i Australia, or somewhere far away.
Hi alix

Congratulations on going to your first meeting.

One day at a time is all it takes.

It does get easier.

Best wishes

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