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Stolen Savings
#1
Hi all, I have been a part-time gambler my whole life, 6 months ago i was a bit worried i was betting too much so i surrendered all my savings to my Mum to look after. I spoke to her last week and asked about the money and over a few days the lies came out and i found out she had gambled my savings. I had several hundred in a savings account that she set up for me a few years ago, several thousand in cash that she was going to invest into a work shares scheme and debts i have paid over the last year. I checked her bank records after it was left open and found out she gambled thousands over the last 6 months including all my money. I now have nothing in my account. Do you think i was right to say what is done is done or should i of get her to pay it all back (she is my mum)?..just to let you know my brother has taken control of her finances so hopefully the gambling will stop.

Cheers
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#2
hello there i think what your mum has done is discusting .... she knew you have had a problem and chose to gamble with y0ur money ???? she should and WILL pay it back GROW UP and be responsable for HER actions .. although i do feel if your parents gamble you can also get the bug .. your mum should go with you to a GA meeting and come out if this best friends not just family GOOD LUCK to you both xxxx BELINDA
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#3
Hi Belinda, i can't really ask for it back. She already owes her bank and then me and has a lot of bills every month. I will speak to my mum today and see what she thinks about going to a meeting because those gambling feelings never go away even after what she did.

Cheers
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#4
Hi Thuggerz

I am a CG. I stole money from my sister.

At the moment I cannot pay her back....but I will. I am in your mum's position, in that the vast majority of my salary I now never see, as it all goes to paying off gambling debts to creditors.
Unfortunately, I have to pay them or I very much risk being made bankrupt.

I will however, given time, be able to start to pay her back. It is not something my sister & I have discussed. Whether or not she expects to be paid back, I do not know...but I will.
We are still on very good terms with each other, and she attends GAMANON as well, so she herself can understand better this addiction that I have. Perhaps your mum is of the same disposition as me?

The GA literature is also quite clear on this. Do NOT BAIL out the gambler. We must all bear the consequences of our actions. To do otherwise is detrimental to our recovery.

Best wishes
Roy
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#5
Hi BigDave, I knew that my mum liked to play bingo and slots but i didnt know that she was completly hooked. I had asked her a few times in the past about gambling and she always had an excuse so i trusted her. I can't believe how much she lost and has left me with nothing. She did offer to pay it back but she would struggle so bad. It would take about two years to pay me back and even though you say its a good thing for recovery i just dont know. Is there anyone in Hackney that goes to these meetings?

Ps. I have been giving her money each month for about a year to help her out. Do you think i should keep giving her this?

Cheers
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#6
Hi Thuggerz

Should you be helping your mum out a bit? Strictly speaking no!!! If she has not enough money to take care of herself though, I think you should help out ( only if you want to). As BigDave said though, providing this is not being used to aid her gambling.

Is there anyone available who would be able to take care of your mother's finances for a while? 6-12 months is generally the accepted timeframe. Ensure all bills are being paid and that she is given a weekly allowance for the necessities of life etc...

Best wishes
Roy
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#7
You do not take the money back of your mum if anyone in life makes a mistake with your money and its your mum you have to forgive, but try and sort the gambling out by maybe letting your brother take control of your savings and giving you a little amount a week that you need, i dont know about you but ive noticed everytime i leave my house whith whatever money i take out with me that day, all goes!
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