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I AM SO SCARED
#1
I know that everyone on here is in the same boat but i dont know what to do to stop gambling. I have tried to help myself - i went into the local fruit machine places and self excluded - great i thought - now theres no where to go and play machines - but then i went into a betting shop - never been in one in my life - always thought that they were full of old men! lol but as i passed the window the other week - there were the machines looking at me - and better still - games on them that were new to me - so that was it - i have spent a fortune this month to the point where i cannot pay my bills and all my direct debits are bouncing because there is no money left in the bank. My husband (god love him) has no idea - we have seperate accounts and so he does not know what i have done - it will be bad next month because everyone is going to be chasing me for the bills i have not paid this month - i cannot think of a way out. There is no GA meeting anywhere near me - nearest one is about 2 and a half hours away which is just not viable for me. I am a 45yr old woman with a good job and most of the time a brain - i dont know why i do this - even if i win - i move onto another machine to see if i can win on that one - this has been a problem for 30yrs on and off - i feel like killing myself because i am so stupid. I know that other people are probably worse off than me and wanting to die is very selfish but i cannot see a way out.
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#2
hello, i would like you know you are not alone; we are a lot of people with the same problem
I'm a compulsive gambler, i've decided to stop definitily.
I'm living in a little town in France; there's not meetings for the gamblers; my help in this moment it's this forum; i visit it everyday, i read all testimony and i understand everyone because your pain and dispair are mine too.
Just for today NOT GAMBLING, don't think to tomorrow; TODAY ONLY.
Excuse me my english but i try to write for to send you a hope message and i wish you courage and strenght; remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE
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#3
hello, i would like you know you are not alone; we are a lot of people with the same problem
I'm a compulsive gambler, i've decided to stop definitily.
I'm living in a little town in France; there's not meetings for the gamblers; my help in this moment it's this forum; i visit it everyday, i read all testimony and i understand everyone because your pain and dispair are mine too.
Just for today NOT GAMBLING, don't think to tomorrow; TODAY ONLY.
Excuse me my english but i try to write for to send you a hope message and i wish you courage and strenght; remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE
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#4
I know exactly how you feel,ive been like that many,many times and somehow,even with nothing to live for,ive managed to make it through the day.I am alone all the time and have nobody whatsoever,so dont know how I didnt top myself,but reached a point where I could not physically take any more and managed to stay clean.You can do it,especially if you have a loving husband to help you,you can make it through,just take 1 day at a time.Unfortunately I had a slip the other day after 10 months,but before I could not ever see me go a day without gambling,so it is possible for you,if you do the ga way.good luck,Andy.
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#5
Hi Kelh

I too felt like you. I attempted suicide in Jan 2009. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

It took a while to realise that I was being selfish. I had created my own "little" mess, which I was too afraid to face. I was going to do the "honourable" thing. The problem is that I would have left the mess I had created, and my family would have had to sort it out. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

There are other means of support available to you. Free online & telephone counselling is available to you in the UK. (GA does not have this service.)

Talk to your husband...he is going to find out anyway, so it will be better if he hears it from you first.

Remove your access to money. Have your husband give you a daily allowance only.

We have all been down the path you are now travelling. Some have a harder road than others.
Try and keep it as simple as possible. Don't pressure yourself.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."


Best Wishes
Roy
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#6
hi KELH

just reading your story relates so much to the way my life is at the moment. i work in a very well paid job and have a good standard of the living although i would gamble on two fly's going up a wall..from a very early age (10/11) i have gambled on slot machines when the laws were less stict in arcades etc....

i too recently discovered the terrible thing they call bookmakers and gaming machines with a range of new and enticing games. i find it so hard not to chase after losing say the first small amount to the extent am borrowing off internet short term loan sites to make up for the money i have spurrned. now the same as you there are begininng to call for the repayment that has not been made which plunges me further into debt. you ae not alone in the way you use your time and addiction although seeking help as i now realise i DO need too is the best course of action.as many do, keep a diary of the feelings when you give up for a period of time and relate it to the excitment of winning and losing. these should help balance the feelings and hopefully stop in the long term reduce if not stop the temptation.

good luck

aaron
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#7
Thank you to everyone that has replied to me - i am going to go to all the betting shops now and self exclude as i have wasted a fortune of this months money all ready. Hopefully this will help to stop me doing it - i know thst i am going to lose before i even put the money in but i still do it - always chasing that big win! I have thort of letting my husband handle all of the money but he will then want to know how much i am spending and on what - it will be a spanish inquisition and it may sound daft but i think - well - i work hard for my money - why should i have to answer to him or anyone else if i want to but a new dress or whatever - selfish i suppose - i should just let him do it and maybe i will but i am going to self exclude first and see how i get on. I will take everyones advise an do 1 day at a time
Thanks again. x
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