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Need to stop asap !!
#1
Hello Everyone
I have just joined in hope that somehow i will be able to stop my gambling.
Firstly i am 29 years old who is a wife and a mum of 2 wonderful sons.I have gambled since i was a kid as i use to go to the local arcades and play on the 2p and 10p slots with my grandparents at weekend but now as an adult i have a serious problem and its out of hand.Put it this way some days i have gambled a lot of money.I dont go into casinos or arcades ect as all my gambling is done online and most of the time secretly.
At one point i owed a lot of credit card debts but then i was payed out large amount of money for a serious car accident i was involved in so i payed off my debt and banked the rest.Well it wasnt long before i had spent the rest plus a even more on credit card debts which i still owe.
Im completely disgusted with my myself and what is the worse thing is that my husband and my children know im a CG.I have gambled in front of my children online and they have seen my moods swings through gambling which is disgusting and i know that.I would hate it if either one of my kids developed gambling problems because of me. <!-- sCry --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cry.gif" alt="Cry" title="Crying or Very Sad" /><!-- sCry -->
I have just inherited money from my grandfather which i have had the check payed to my husband and it has been put into an account that i cannot touch without his permission as i know i cannot be trusted not to gamble it all which makes me feel like a little kid and worthless.
I desperately need to turn my life around as i have a serious problem !!
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#2
Hey,
First step you have admitted having a problem, second thing is you have said you have two wonderful sons. Online gambling i feel is one of the worst forms from listening to others about gambling as you dont actually feel the money go through your hands. I dont know you but you admit to having a problem, you admit you need help. I cannot make you go to a meeting but I can tell you that inside that room lay a programme that if you listen to those who come together with the same problem and follow that programme you will start to lead a better life with your husband and children. If you truly want to stop (and you know you must) you need to tell EVERYTHING to your husband and then put barriers in place so that you cannot gamble on line...close the accounts, bar yourself, cut up credit cards etc..dont leave a back door, just say enough is enough. I know I did and life gets much better!! good luck and find a meeting near to you, go and listen and be impartial.
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#3
I can't believe how alike your story is to mine. I'm 28 and have a little girl and a wonderful husband and I too am addicted to online gambling. The only difference is that my husband has no clue what I'm doing. I'm currently on maternity leave which makes things a million times harder as I'm at home all day. I really thought when I had my little girl that all this nonsense would stop but its just as bad as before! Does your husband not suggest putting a filter on your computer so that you can't access the sites? I'm thinking about doing that but don't want my husband to find out that I have a problem.

Stay strong!

anon1981 xx
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#4
i am 35 and in a lot of debt, just gambling every bit of money I have coming in to to try and win back some of the money I have lost over the years, no body in my family knows . I rob Peter to pay Paul every day. It is steaming out of control and don't know what to do. I know I have a problem and need help but can't face going to meetings in front of people . My family will fall apart if they found out,
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#5
Hey..Sorry to reply to this thread again. I notice a comment by "guest" in which you are saying that you rob peter to pay paul and your family would fall apart if they knew. I will just say at 35 with a family that your family already knows the consequences of your gambling, for certain they do. They know there are times when money is tight but yet you earn, they suffer your mood swings etc, how do i know this you may ask because i am a compulsive gambler. "i couldnt face sitting in front of others and telling them" this is your choice but understand GA, GA is "a group of men and women who have come together to do something about there gambling problem". It was the start of my life becuase if I had continued to hide every part of my secret life then i would be still robbing peter to pay paul, still inflicting misery on those around me. I really didnt have the courage to go to my first meeting but I had to "for me", i was an hour late as I always made excuses for facing upto responsibility, it was just what i did. Fortunate for me I went and what this did was "slowly open me up" make my analytical of what problem I face and how to face it. I have given up "day by day" gambling...my life is much better now, all i will say its amazing when you open up how this brings togetherness from those closest to you. Ga is not right for everyone, its certainly not an instant cure, but you will be amazed what it actually teaches you. I have immense gratitude to this....I now believe totally in the saying "god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
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#6
Thanxs for the advice. I'm still not sure I can sit there in the meetings , I admit I have a serious problem and really do need help. I'm scared of losing my family, and really don't know where to turn. I have got thousands of pounds worth of debt, and know I cannot afford to pay them off and worry I will end up in prison for not paying these debts off. Which I know I would t b able to cope with. I know I have been stupid over the years but just need help to put all this behind me and try and rebuild my life and pay my debts.
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#7
Hey,
Can I say what is worse for your family, hiding your problem and looking for an instant cure, ending up in prison or saying ok enough is enough time I fought this desease??. We ie you and I are compulsive gamblers, this means when we win we cannot stop until we end up losing, there is no cure for this if we continue to gamble.

What is worse in terms of shame?? being a man in prison or sitting your family down plucking up some dutch courage and blurting out all of the trouble and problems in your life and following this by saying "but i am going to do something about it and need your love and support to change".

I always used to think i am "not that bad" look at that idiot laying X amount down on four numbers on the roulette table, im just mediocre, but believe me when i say it would have sent me to prison also.

I slept rough due to gambling, didnt eat well and certainly didnt sleep well or pay the needed attention to my family/loved ones.

Now I sleep sound, I go to bed nothing in my mind but waking up the next day and having a "good day". Everyone loves a winner and everyone hates a loser but this is the biggest barrier us as compulsive gamblers have to face, we are not infact losers we just simply have a desease.

I will make you a promiss (i used to break them) if you tell your family everything, give up control of cash and start on a programme of recovery you WILL sleep that night, the next morning you will feel "born again" and this is the first day of the rest of your life from then on.

It takes a massive heap of courage to go to a meeting (I know) it takes a huge man to admit failings in life but once this is open we have nothing then to hide and can focus on making life better for us and those around us.

Please listen to me, I knoow if you do this it will be such a massive thing but you will see why life is better.

Its however down to you to find that courage.

B
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#8
Thank you for the support I feel a bit more able to try and do this. I'm a business women who can't get the business into profit as I spend it before I get it. I will help myself and stop I haven't gambled for 5 days now that's good for me. As I normally do it every day. Just coming on here had made me realise I'm not the only person out there, thanks for the support. Nat
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#9
hi there, my name is david im 29 and im a compulsive gambler.
i went to my first meeting on tuesday and it was the best decision i have ever made in my entire life! i didnt realise how bad my gambling had become and how bad an effect it was having on my parents. Sitting down and blurting out all of your problems and worries is a big step but once you have done it you will feel 100 times better. With support and help from your family you can beat this cancer, take it one day at a time and remember how good life was before this dragged you down. life is there to live not to spend waiting for your horse/team/numbers to come in. get yourself down to a GA meeting it will be the most important decision youll ever make. best wishes in tackling this.
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