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giving it a go
#1
Bingo or maybe that's a dirty word i shouldn't use!it's nearly always the same isn't it?i started off with bingo my mum always went whether she could afford it or not when i was young,she always had a flutter on the horses too.when it isn't fun anymore and you know in your heart it's become a real problem it's time to stop or try very hard too.i sometimes think we swap one addiction with another,i too have had a problem with drugs in the past.your girlfriend sounds like an amazing woman and i hope she comes to grips with her problems.hope you have a lovely holiday,maybe come back and try a GA meeting.meet others who no exactly how your feeling.keep strong,take one day at a time.
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#2
Well done you.work has helped me take my mind off gambling so its a blessing.now going to book a spa day with the money i would have wasted on the slots.keep positive and keep us up to date.
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#3
Hi Mike and all other board members.

Felt compelled to post having got my myself into a hole again in the early hours of this morning.

Isn't it funny how you'll only ever admit you have a problem after a heavy loss and not after a (rare) win?

Anyway, I'm 32 myself like Mike. I live with my partner and have done for the past year in our first home. The last 9mths has seen my addiction develop like never before. You would have thought the pressure of having a mortgage hanging over my head would have helped, but it's had the opposite affect. Having less of my own money to play with each month has more than likley contributed to me attempting to get a bit back so I have more financial freedom.

I do have a question (sorry to hijack your thread Mike, but didn't want to start my own and wanted collected thoughts of others on a existing thread) about my own position ...

I'm at my worst when I turn to slots (mug) and poker - this is where I have suffered heavy losses. These I could do without (obviously) and never really 'look forward' to playing them (knowing what's gone on before is no doubt a factor), but my passion is horse racing. I follow it closely each day, but generally only bet at big meetings or decent weekend racing. Reason I love it so much is because it allows me to spend time with my Brother where we'll have a drink together.

Now I obviously want to cleanse myself of this terrible addiction (slots & poker), but is this possible to achieve by just keeping to recreational gambling with my Brother every couple of weeks or so? Or am I just kidding myself?

I realise no one can answer this for me, but was looking to hear other peoples thoughts if they have tried to do something similar?

I don't really suffer losses when gambling on horse racing and even if I did, I do not stake the ridiculous amounts I throw at slots & poker, so can therefore 'live' with the consequences (or believe I can at least).

Any thoughts are welcome - thanks in advance.

Mike - I hope Day 2 passed much the same as Day 1
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#4
Mike - thanks for the reply.

What you say makes alot of sense. I guess I know deep down that even losing just a small amount on racing on a Saturday can result in me going crazy later on. And it's not as if I would desperately miss that small amount every fortnight or so. The problem with me, personally, is (and this might be a running theme with other addicts) I am very competitive and almost can't stand 'losing' no matter what the amount and like to put that right. That's where the trouble starts.

Anyway, I told my partner last night. She knew I had issues, but didn't know the full story. I explained that I had been on here and want to actively seek help and support. It was quite emotional, but it needed to be and I feel liberated now (as well as hungover).

She is very understanding and has a habit of always saying the right thing (I, of course, don't deserve her to be so understanding). I will now 'tick' the calender each day I don't gamble. The National next week will be a test.

All the best Mike - hopefully we'll get there

Chris
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#5
Mike,

Hope you have a good break with your Partner - I'm sure it will help.

Yeah, totally agree about the devaluing money comment. I think playing online makes it worse, too. It's not as if you have the money in your hand, count it out and then bet. It's just a click away which is so dangerous for folk like us with compulsive personalities.

Got through today without a bet so far and out for the night now so it's looking good.

I have got the National off (booked it off ages ago) and still intend to have it off as I can spend time with the dogs (they are elderly and sick right now). This will be a test no doubt, but I think we all 'need' tests.

All the best

Chris
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#6
Hey Mike,

Yeah, Mothers Day duties beckon for me tomorrow, too (shouldn't make it sound like a chore as we'll have a good time eating, drinking and spending time with all 4 of our dogs), so it's important to keep busy as you say.

Pleased you managed to walk away - that's a big step and it's something I'd most likely find harder than not having a bet in the first place. I think (and don't take this as me being patrionizing in any way) it's important to keep at the fore front of your mind the bad days, the bad losses and all the times you've hated yourself. Obviously this sounds very easy in theory, but not so in practice.

This is what I'm intending to do.

I almost relapsed today (something I didn't have time to mention earlier). I didn't gamble, but I had placed a bet weeks ago on Sri Lanka winning the World Cup. This was when I was still actively gambling and had almost forgotten about it. But I watched in hope today after work and due to things looking good (at the time), I'd convinced myself I would be collecting a handsome sum. It wasn't to be and I felt myself becoming angry inside (the usual signs of not accepting I can be 'beaten'). I didn't react to this by going online (thankfully), but it served as a stark reminder that these thoughts remain within me and rear their head all too easily.

It's not going to be easy to combat these emotions and feelings, but it shouldn't be easy I guess.

Anyway, keep taking a step forward each day and remind yourself why you are putting the effort in.

Chris
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#7
Mikestow Wrote:A little disappointed with myself today as I did indeed pop into a bookies. The upside is that I only lost a few pounds

I could feel the compulsion beginning to take over so left as soon as I had won what I had lost back (which was not a great deal by my standards. I have also taken the precaution of withdrawing remaining money from my bank account so that I was able to enjoy this afternoons sport without being able to place a bet online.

So all in all not pleased but not a disaster. I managed nearly five days which is not much to write home about but definitely my record in the last five years

I must stress that even though I gambled I only lost few pounds and was able to walk away this time....

Which is something

Hi Mike,

This is my first time online with GA but I felt compelled to pass comment on the series of posts from yourself.

I'm not sure if anyone who has had any experience of quitting gambling reads these forums but if you are in any way serious about wanting to quit then why aren't you attanding GA meetings?
You won't be able ( as it has proved ) to sustain any length of time not gambling without some sound advise from GA members. I know you might feel embarrassed or that there is a stigma attached to attending meetings but I could reel off six or seven points ( just from your posts ) that would help you in a way that you couldn't even imagine.
Quitting will improve your life and everyones around you - if you are serious and not just talking the talk then go to your nearest GA meeting.

Promise you want regret it... take care and let me know how you get on.

Paul
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