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Addiction
#1
Hi my name is David. I intend to join the Fife GA on Monday and it can't come quick enough. I have a real problem and feel I have to share it here and now to get it off my chest before I start at the meeting. My addition to gambling is an online bingo site where you play the 5 scratch cards. I started around 3-4 months ago as a tester (I hadn't gambled before apart from the lottery) and to my utter surprise I became addicted. I wiped out all my savings and maxed my credit card to the limit. To get more cash I applied for two more credit cards and low and behold within a month I had maxed these. It came to the point that when my salary went in each month I was desperate to get on the site (I counted down the days before it went in, that’s how overpowering this addiction was) and blew the lot. Needless to say no bills got paid and I have creditors on my back all the time. Sleep! What is that, I don't think I have slept a proper sleep for months now. I have began a DAS (Debt Advisor Scheme) to get the total I have accrued in debts due to gambling but still have the urge to gamble anything I can get my hands on. Would love any advice or feedback from any GA members who recognize these faults / addiction prior to my meeting on Monday, help me get through the weekend with comments from someone who knows what I'm going through. Take care all and thanks for listening. David
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#2
Hi David.

Gambleing is a terrible illness.you havant being addicted for long.
Even though you have incured a lot of debt.all i can say is get help now this illness is progressive.
Many have stolen lost friends and family.i my self have lost every thing that matterd to me.
And still wont or cant stop.for your own sake get help before it costs you more then money.
Its not going to be easy.and most of us find excuses not to try.or i can do it with will power alone.
Very few can.take it from one who knows.as bad as loseing the money is. loseing your family friends self respect.
And in my case my mind.is far worse.get help contact GA ASAP.i wish you all the best.
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#3
David,
Welcome to the forum, although a new addiction has been born I hope you take time to take stock of my advice and words, I will come back to some other posts after.

In 4 months you have experienced my life for 12+ years, I slept in places you would not wish to mention and how I am alive today is only by some Grace of God.

See the thing with this is it depends totally when in life you found you were a Compulsive gambler, I always knew from a young age, it started for me as a excuse to escape, but became the overwriding control in my life.

Has it cost me anything? yes more than you could ever imagine.But all I wanted to do was "stop" to "stop" those voices in my head, "stop" looking at the bank statement after saying "WTF".

I found GA, i was nervous to go, I didnt really want to as I didnt have an issue, but I went and GA gave me something that I can never explain and that is "the courage to change"

GA a meeting and sharing with others will not give you an explanation as to "why" you gambled if you truly wish to have a better life then all you need to know from the past 4 months is that you simply "cannot"

Simply saying you cannot is tough, because everyday is a challenge in respect to "triggers". I want to gamble because someone annoyed me, I want to gamble because the bank phoned for a payment, I want to gamble because work is boring, I want to gamble because a pink elephant flew over Stamford bridge..Any excuse or trigger. Fact is I cannot stop "triggers" and I will always be a compulsive gambler and gambling will always be like being followed by a very angry rottweiller that wishes to bite me on the ass.

The thing is and its not a trick Marko, it is not about just short term fix of the damage we caused its about a long term understanding of if I let that rottweiler bite me it will grip its teeth and not let go until I have no meat left (cash).

I dont make lite of this desease, it knows me and what is important I know it, I wake up and say "your not biting me today" when I go to sleep I know it didnt get me.

There are a few precious things I really value in life now, one of them is "rest" because I sleep without fear that tommorow I cannot control myself, I dont have lots of things, but they will come with time.

All the best at your meeting on Monday and I hope today can be the start of a new you.

TC

B
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#4
Hello David, Welcome to the GA 12 step program.
Wish I sought the help I needed when I was early into my addiction but it's no point in me wishing for what is impossible.
The great thing is that a GA meeting should be near your location and that you can arrest this illness before it gets any worse and believe me if you continue to gamble your financial and emotional troubles will esculate with great speed and dire consequences.
I am saying this is an easy thing to tackle and you will need to give this your best shot, and learn and listen with an open mind.'
As the saying in GA goes - IF YOU DON'T GET THE PROGRAM, THE PROGRAM WILL EVENTUALLY GET YOU!!
Take the advice given and give yourself a chance.
Helen
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