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Day 2 no gambling
#1
Hi Everyone. 

Completely new to all of this but I figured it would help getting this weight off my chest. 
A little bit about me, I'm 26 years old and have been struggling with gambling since about the age of 19. I still remember the first time I won when I walked into a bookies and I went home with a bit of money in my pocket at the age of 19. It felt easy.. like I could win all of the time. 

This obviously wasnt the case and my gambling slowly started to get worse. I think the turning point was university. I received a student loan and thought wow, all of this money.. what do I do. I remember it like it was yesterday, I started gambling small amounts out of boredom, but it got considerably worse until one day i just spiralled out of control and lost £xxx in about 30 mins on the machines. I felt completely broken and didnt know what to do myself. 

As the years went by I started to take loans, credit cards and my debt just increased. I continued to tell myself time after time, what are you doing with your life? but Id find myself in the bookies time after time. I was now taking out £xxx at a time and it was just ridiculous. I had some wins of xxxx along the way and this just fueled my habit more. 

I started a masters degree in 2017 which I didnt finish because I couldnt make the loan payments (due to gambling) 

The worst part for me is just lying to family members and friends/girlfriends. Ill be honest, I havent told a soul. Not even my parents or best friends. That's what makes it so difficult for me, its like my dirty secret. I nearly told my girlfriend a few weeks ago but felt so ashamed. It has got me really down at times, losing my money week after week and just wanting to talk to someone about it. My actions and behaviour has left me in debt of which I am paying back now. I recently moved to london for a job which is going to put me in a really good place career wise. 

however, the past few weeks ive found myself in a bookies again spending my wages. Yesterday I cut all of my cards up and just have my apple pay on my phone. 

I cant tell you how motivated I am to beat this horrible addiction. I am in a good place career wise and dont want to mess up. I want to be able to enjoy my money instead of spending it on gambling.
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Messages In This Thread
Day 2 no gambling - by JAM123 - 29-08-2019, 07:49 PM
RE: Day 2 no gambling - by LewB - 29-08-2019, 09:10 PM
RE: Day 2 no gambling - by Chris_b - 30-08-2019, 10:24 AM

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