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No matter when you gambled being in meetings is the best and healthiest place to be
#3
(08-12-2021, 08:19 AM)gadaveuk Wrote: Hi
 
No matter when you gambled being in meetings is the best and healthiest place to be
 
Over time I would learn and understand when I was emotionally vulnerable and how to cope with triggers in my life.

Hi

It is always nice to see people sharing their life with us.

My addiction and my obsessions only indicated how emotionally vulnerable I was.

I got to understand that Recovery for me was a healing process, in time I would heal from the pains of my past.
 
It was impossible to heal my pains if I was still in action with my very unhealthy addictions and my very unhealthy obsessions which was causing more pain than I could heal from.

On arriving in the recovery program I felt that gambling controlled my life.

I even use to think that being in action was fun and exciting, that I use to think that I loved gambling, how mixed up could a person be.

The rage that use to come out of me only indicated how much pain I needed to heal, I understood that my fears even those I did not understand came from unresolved pains in my youth.

While I was in the meetings I was not gambling, yet one meeting was not enough for me, not two even, I needed more than two meetings per week.

There were certain meetings that were very honest about their feelings and emotions, and in time I saw myself in those people I started to understand myself and what I needed to do to become healthier in my every day life.

The more aware I become I understood I needed a lot or work on myself, talking on one to one was very helpful for me.

It was hard for me to write things down, yet I was being accountable to myself, why did I fear being honest, well as a child w hen ever I was asked to be honest I was punished for it.

The funny thing there was only one time that I stole money as a child and my mother was willing to pay me money to be honest about my stealing. Mum kept he word.

In recovery the more honest I got there was less fear of intimacy. The more honest I got in a healthy way people got more honest with me.

The less fear I had the more open I could be with my therapies.

It is very important to find a healthy sponsor, some who is honest with out causing pains, some who can have a healthy two way sharing at every level.

People found it strange that often ladies wanted me to sponsor them, I was willing to do that, yet only with the permission of their partners or husbands.

There was some one a lady who wanted to talk to me with her husband, that was very healthy.

There was many times the emotional baggage use to come out in every day events, it was obvious I ad not fully healed from my past.

I often use to hear older people say that they did not enough hours in a day. Now I am saying it, I use television to relax, I do not run my life to certain  television programs.

At one time I use to think that I wanted to do nothing with my time at the age of 15 years of age, I went away for one year, I did not work, I did not make any commitments at all.

After that year I knew that I did not want to do nothing with my time.

Who is to say what is healthy or unhealthy, that is my choice, if I try to justify my actions I am being unhealthy.

If I am not willing to commit myself I am not being healthy, if I am not able to keep appointment times I am being unhealthy inconsiderate and disrespectful.

If I am not being respectful to other people it indicates I am being disrespectful to myself.

I understand that there is nothing I can do or say to change another person, that is their choice, if a person wants me to go to meetings with them I would do so, I will not go in to or near gambling establishments for another person, it is not healthy for me.

All of my fears were ten out of ten on walking in to the recovery program, it is amazing that when your fears reduce you can achieve so much more with our life.

Love peace and serenity to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK.
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RE: No matter when you gambled being in meetings is the best and healthiest place to be - by gadaveuk - 13-12-2021, 07:22 AM

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