15-01-2010, 11:03 PM
Hi, I am married to, but separated from, a compulsive gambler. He left the country last September and when he had gone the whole story about his gambling and debts came out. He had stolen things from the house to sell, borrowed or conned money from my family and friends and generally destroyed any trust I ever had in him. when we were together he was very controlling and life was stressful with constant crises. At least finding out about the gambling explained why our life together had never worked.
He has admitted to his gambling problem but refuses to seek help for it. He claims he can beat it on his own and seems to believe that he can stop whenever he wants to. I think his condition (illness?) is far too advanced for this - I can answer yes to all 20 questions in the gam-anon questionnaire and I have read a few books about gambling and they all describe his personality with frightening accuracy.
My husband is now moving back close to us, apparently to be near our son and is making life a misery for me. In my opinion, he is completely unreasonable about arranging access to our son, he demands to stay in the house with us when he visits and he constantly makes threats to take our son away/take the house from me/tell people that I am the one with a problem etc etc. I have been to women's aid who advise me to get him out of our lives completely but a big part of me doesn't want to go down this road if possible. I suppose my question is, what is the best thing for me to do to make him realise that he needs help? Do I continue trying to facilitate his unreasonable demands or do I cut off all contact and hope that makes him come to his senses? I would be so grateful for your opinions as I just don't know the right thing to do. Thank you. V
He has admitted to his gambling problem but refuses to seek help for it. He claims he can beat it on his own and seems to believe that he can stop whenever he wants to. I think his condition (illness?) is far too advanced for this - I can answer yes to all 20 questions in the gam-anon questionnaire and I have read a few books about gambling and they all describe his personality with frightening accuracy.
My husband is now moving back close to us, apparently to be near our son and is making life a misery for me. In my opinion, he is completely unreasonable about arranging access to our son, he demands to stay in the house with us when he visits and he constantly makes threats to take our son away/take the house from me/tell people that I am the one with a problem etc etc. I have been to women's aid who advise me to get him out of our lives completely but a big part of me doesn't want to go down this road if possible. I suppose my question is, what is the best thing for me to do to make him realise that he needs help? Do I continue trying to facilitate his unreasonable demands or do I cut off all contact and hope that makes him come to his senses? I would be so grateful for your opinions as I just don't know the right thing to do. Thank you. V