04-02-2010, 09:48 PM
I've finally decided to come onto this site, and seek help. Im becky and im 22 nearly 23 and Im an addicted to gambling. I know this is a really unattractive trait in a woman, but I literally cannot help myself. I have read some of the other posts on this forum, and a lot of them ring true to how I am feeling. I have also read the section about student gambling, which seems to have affected me. I am in my 3rd and final yr of uni, and its only now in my 3rd yr that gambling has taken its toll on me. I have always bet on horses- I enjoy going to the races, which I have often found harmless fun gambling- I never take more than a few pounds to the races, and usually win small amounts, but if i haven't won, I have walked away and still had a good day none the less. However I then began going into the bookies and betting on the horses in there and various race meetings, i'd even bet on virtual races, which were obviously a fix. Even so I still didn't bet great amounts. Since about August/September last year I have since become addicted to roulette and other games. I have an online account, and became addicted to roulette. I'd think about it all the time, and began crediting almost everyday. I loved the thrill of when I did win, and usually always withdrew it as I knew i'd made a profit. However things began to get worse, and if I did win I tended to bet that money and try and win more, to try and get the thrill of winning again. I would then end up losing it, and credit more money to try and re-coup my losses- obviously online roulette was never going to work in my favour, and I kept losing more and more money. I now play on roulette inside the book makers too, and find myself putting every last penny in the machine, each time thinking that I am going to win. The worse day for me was on new years day. Over christmas time I had made myself money on playing roulette online on my account, obviously I was chuffed with that, however I kept it in my account rather than withdrawing it.. On New Years eve my sort-of boyfriend changed my password to prevent me from gambling anymore and losing my winnings. However I managed to retrieve my password on new years day and thats where it all went wrong. I discovered an online slot machine game a couple of days earlier. I ended up losing my entire winnings, and felt physically sick. I was so disgusted at myself for losing that money that I ended up crediting more, and was betting about on roulette, covering different sections, red/even etc. I managed to almost recover my money , but I ended up playing it all, I was shaking, I felt sick, and ashamed, but I was still positive that I was due a win and could recover my losses. I credited more and lost that too. I felt so angry/ ashamed/anxious and sick. The previous thrills of winning seemed so distant, and I was disgusted at myself for losing that amount of money. It may not seem a lot to some people, but as a student the amount is a ridiculous amount of money to lose in one day (well in a space of an hr). Since that day I have still been gambling online/ in the bookies , which obviously all mounts up. I really need some help, because I am continuing to gamble, and am just addicted to the machines now. I really need some help, my mum recently opened one of my bank statements and saw only a fraction of the money I have gambled online. I'm addicted and I know I am, and all my money is going. Any suggestions? I'm at uni in Sheffield, should I attend a meeting there?