20-02-2010, 11:06 PM
Hi Nick
My name is Darren and your story is an exact mirror image of mine and everything you have said i can relate to.I have a lovely wife and two adoreable children who i have hurt so much, the first time was 5 1/2 years ago when it was my eldest sons birthday and my wife went to buy presents and realised there was no money in the bank and questioned me why ? and i had to admit the debt i was in because of gambling which was thousands, she found this hard to take but agreed to help me and said we could sort this out and intially i started going to GA in carlisle and was off a bet for just over 2 years when i thought i could do this without GA and for a while i did. Then just about 2 years ago some one asked me to have a go on a rugby scorecast and for some reason i did and this then led me back down this slippery road.In between starting gambling again i had taken voluntry redundacy where i was working and had quite a good lump of money there and managed to get another job on the same money.This is where all the lies and deciet started again as i began to frit away what money we had put away for a rainy day and our boys future. Just over 4 weeks ago i had to admit to my lovely wife that i was gambling again and had blown what money we had and even more, she instantly kicked me out of our house and all i have done is go over things in my head why i did it all again but once you are in this little world you dont care about anyone barr yourself ! i now realise i have hurt so many people yet again that gave me a second chane before. I just wish i had been man enough to seek help earlier and it might never of got to this stage again ! I have not had a bet since i was kicked out and have started attending my nearest meeting which is carlisle but this is 1hr 30mins drive each way for me, but this is the only way this illness can be cured in my eyes !
I just hope in time i can prove to my wonderfull wife that i have this illness beat and she can trust me again as this time she is not helping me i am doing this for me before it kills me !!
My name is Darren and your story is an exact mirror image of mine and everything you have said i can relate to.I have a lovely wife and two adoreable children who i have hurt so much, the first time was 5 1/2 years ago when it was my eldest sons birthday and my wife went to buy presents and realised there was no money in the bank and questioned me why ? and i had to admit the debt i was in because of gambling which was thousands, she found this hard to take but agreed to help me and said we could sort this out and intially i started going to GA in carlisle and was off a bet for just over 2 years when i thought i could do this without GA and for a while i did. Then just about 2 years ago some one asked me to have a go on a rugby scorecast and for some reason i did and this then led me back down this slippery road.In between starting gambling again i had taken voluntry redundacy where i was working and had quite a good lump of money there and managed to get another job on the same money.This is where all the lies and deciet started again as i began to frit away what money we had put away for a rainy day and our boys future. Just over 4 weeks ago i had to admit to my lovely wife that i was gambling again and had blown what money we had and even more, she instantly kicked me out of our house and all i have done is go over things in my head why i did it all again but once you are in this little world you dont care about anyone barr yourself ! i now realise i have hurt so many people yet again that gave me a second chane before. I just wish i had been man enough to seek help earlier and it might never of got to this stage again ! I have not had a bet since i was kicked out and have started attending my nearest meeting which is carlisle but this is 1hr 30mins drive each way for me, but this is the only way this illness can be cured in my eyes !
I just hope in time i can prove to my wonderfull wife that i have this illness beat and she can trust me again as this time she is not helping me i am doing this for me before it kills me !!