01-03-2010, 04:59 AM
Hello all, just joined and thought I would make my first post.
I am desparately seeking help now since my problem has hit an all time low.
Im 23 and have been gambling properly since I was 18. Weather its FOBT's, Online or Fruit machines.
I get these really bad cravings to play even when iv lost loads. Over the years I have had many lows such as being overdrawn and owing a lot in bank charges. Spending my 21st birthday money gambling, Blowing all my wages numerous times. Borrwing off friends and family and lying about why I needed it.
It seems in the past if i quit 1 type of gambling I start doing the other again. For a while I was in the arcade everyday playing. Then I tried to stop, had a week away and ended up turning to online gambling.
My all time low started at christmas. I promised myself that was it. No more. Never. But no sooner had the money gone in was I gambling again.
The complete wakeup call happened over the past few days. Annoyed about losing my winnings at christmas I gave up trying to quit and played now and again. A week ago I won. Wow I thought and again I told myself that was it. No more. Never again. But you can guess what I did. Saturday I finished work and checked the cashpoint. Some of the winnings had been paid. So i took money out intending to buy shopping and go home with it and give some to my family then keep the rest stored away at home so i couldnt gamble it. At first I was good with it. I went and got shopping in. But then a massive slip happened....
There was a nagging feeling and realy bad urges saying "go on, go to the arcade... you havent been in ages.. play on the fruit machines... you could win a few more quid or at worst only be a few quid down". Needless to say I gave in to that urge. At 1 point I was a few quid up... but I didnt leave... I then became down... but nope I wanted that money back... I played on another machine and ended up a total down. It completey fed me to gamble so what did I do??? I stupidly thought "well, the chances are I'll be able to make that back if I play blackjack in the bookies"... and off I went.
In the bookies i sat at the FOBT... then put another load of notes in... again it was lost in a few minutes. Again I didnt walk away... I wanted that few more quid... just 1 or 2 more quid... and nope.. I lost and walked out with empty pockets overall (including spare change I had on me)
I went back to the cashpoint and went home... but that evening didnt get any better...
I felt ill with the losses of the day... and things were just about to get a lot worse.
I had this nagging feeling all evening telling me I should gamble on a few websites and make that money back... and thats what i did. Lost it. That was my bank empty.
It was nearly midnight and i checked my balance online... The final money had been paid into my bank... and still I was trying to recover I had lost in total that day... I lost all of that money and most of what was in my savings account. More than anything I want and need to stop. I dont want any cravings. I dont want to lose anymore money. I just want to enjoy my life and the money I get instead of losing every penny I have gambling
I am desparately seeking help now since my problem has hit an all time low.
Im 23 and have been gambling properly since I was 18. Weather its FOBT's, Online or Fruit machines.
I get these really bad cravings to play even when iv lost loads. Over the years I have had many lows such as being overdrawn and owing a lot in bank charges. Spending my 21st birthday money gambling, Blowing all my wages numerous times. Borrwing off friends and family and lying about why I needed it.
It seems in the past if i quit 1 type of gambling I start doing the other again. For a while I was in the arcade everyday playing. Then I tried to stop, had a week away and ended up turning to online gambling.
My all time low started at christmas. I promised myself that was it. No more. Never. But no sooner had the money gone in was I gambling again.
The complete wakeup call happened over the past few days. Annoyed about losing my winnings at christmas I gave up trying to quit and played now and again. A week ago I won. Wow I thought and again I told myself that was it. No more. Never again. But you can guess what I did. Saturday I finished work and checked the cashpoint. Some of the winnings had been paid. So i took money out intending to buy shopping and go home with it and give some to my family then keep the rest stored away at home so i couldnt gamble it. At first I was good with it. I went and got shopping in. But then a massive slip happened....
There was a nagging feeling and realy bad urges saying "go on, go to the arcade... you havent been in ages.. play on the fruit machines... you could win a few more quid or at worst only be a few quid down". Needless to say I gave in to that urge. At 1 point I was a few quid up... but I didnt leave... I then became down... but nope I wanted that money back... I played on another machine and ended up a total down. It completey fed me to gamble so what did I do??? I stupidly thought "well, the chances are I'll be able to make that back if I play blackjack in the bookies"... and off I went.
In the bookies i sat at the FOBT... then put another load of notes in... again it was lost in a few minutes. Again I didnt walk away... I wanted that few more quid... just 1 or 2 more quid... and nope.. I lost and walked out with empty pockets overall (including spare change I had on me)
I went back to the cashpoint and went home... but that evening didnt get any better...
I felt ill with the losses of the day... and things were just about to get a lot worse.
I had this nagging feeling all evening telling me I should gamble on a few websites and make that money back... and thats what i did. Lost it. That was my bank empty.
It was nearly midnight and i checked my balance online... The final money had been paid into my bank... and still I was trying to recover I had lost in total that day... I lost all of that money and most of what was in my savings account. More than anything I want and need to stop. I dont want any cravings. I dont want to lose anymore money. I just want to enjoy my life and the money I get instead of losing every penny I have gambling