29-04-2010, 09:07 PM
first and foremost, I am a compulsive gambler.
I have just had a sit-down with my partner, then my parents and then the in-laws, and I feel so much better for it, although certainly not at the time(s).
I have been told a few home truths, and it is sinking in now.
I am 34 yrs old, started gambling around 17ish yr old, as you do couple of pints saturday afternoon, fixed odds football coupon, then progressing onto horses, greyhounds slot machines.
At 20yr old I met my partner, bought a flat had a baby boy, 4 yrs later we were in thousands of debt, everyone thought at the time it was due to the baby and new flat, holidays etc.
Both sets parents helped out and got us clear.
Everyone now knows I let them down all those years ago as it was mostly down to gambling.
At 30 yr old we had another boy, bought a new house, made a tidy profit from the flat sale.
Now, 4 yrs later, we find ourselves in many thousands of debt, going through debt management co. to sort it out.
I've been losing regular amounts of money per week for at least a year now, the many thousands of debt I would say is mostly gambling, but my partner agrees that holidays, furnishings etc have played a part, but no doubt about it at least 60% was me.
For the past couple of months roullette machines in the bookies have been where the money has went, and more recently when the wife is in bed, roullete/blackjack online.
I don't know why I started online, as it is a joint bank account we have and there is no way my wife wouldn't have noticed.
As I have realised for some time now that the elusive big win just aint gonna happen, I like to think that by betting online I was subconsiously(sp) crying for help.
Or was I just not caring about getting found out?
At the moment, I don't honestly know which is the truth.
I do know that I feel better now that my family know, they have all offered any support I need, BUT I need to stop NOW.
My wife has made it clear that if it continues then either I'm out the door, or she'll take the kids and go.
Now, I don't have any access to our bank account, and due to the credit management co. a credit card is impossible.
I haven't gambled since last Saturday, mostly I freely admit to being the result of a big showdown with the wife on Sunday after she noticed money missing from my late night Saturday night roullete session.
So, since last Sunday I have had no access to money.
At this point in time, I have no inclination to enter either a bookie shop or an online bookie.
The test I imagine will be when I have money in my pocket, which I know will burn like hell.
I think I can beat this, as I stopped smoking with no help whatsoever, I smoked for around 10 years from age 15ish, and have not, hand on heart, smoked for 10 years roughly.
The big question is, do I need to go to a meeting?
I loathe talking in public, but have no qualms (as you will realise after reading all this) about typing my problems, and there are no beginners meetings in my area.
I have just had a sit-down with my partner, then my parents and then the in-laws, and I feel so much better for it, although certainly not at the time(s).
I have been told a few home truths, and it is sinking in now.
I am 34 yrs old, started gambling around 17ish yr old, as you do couple of pints saturday afternoon, fixed odds football coupon, then progressing onto horses, greyhounds slot machines.
At 20yr old I met my partner, bought a flat had a baby boy, 4 yrs later we were in thousands of debt, everyone thought at the time it was due to the baby and new flat, holidays etc.
Both sets parents helped out and got us clear.
Everyone now knows I let them down all those years ago as it was mostly down to gambling.
At 30 yr old we had another boy, bought a new house, made a tidy profit from the flat sale.
Now, 4 yrs later, we find ourselves in many thousands of debt, going through debt management co. to sort it out.
I've been losing regular amounts of money per week for at least a year now, the many thousands of debt I would say is mostly gambling, but my partner agrees that holidays, furnishings etc have played a part, but no doubt about it at least 60% was me.
For the past couple of months roullette machines in the bookies have been where the money has went, and more recently when the wife is in bed, roullete/blackjack online.
I don't know why I started online, as it is a joint bank account we have and there is no way my wife wouldn't have noticed.
As I have realised for some time now that the elusive big win just aint gonna happen, I like to think that by betting online I was subconsiously(sp) crying for help.
Or was I just not caring about getting found out?
At the moment, I don't honestly know which is the truth.
I do know that I feel better now that my family know, they have all offered any support I need, BUT I need to stop NOW.
My wife has made it clear that if it continues then either I'm out the door, or she'll take the kids and go.
Now, I don't have any access to our bank account, and due to the credit management co. a credit card is impossible.
I haven't gambled since last Saturday, mostly I freely admit to being the result of a big showdown with the wife on Sunday after she noticed money missing from my late night Saturday night roullete session.
So, since last Sunday I have had no access to money.
At this point in time, I have no inclination to enter either a bookie shop or an online bookie.
The test I imagine will be when I have money in my pocket, which I know will burn like hell.
I think I can beat this, as I stopped smoking with no help whatsoever, I smoked for around 10 years from age 15ish, and have not, hand on heart, smoked for 10 years roughly.
The big question is, do I need to go to a meeting?
I loathe talking in public, but have no qualms (as you will realise after reading all this) about typing my problems, and there are no beginners meetings in my area.