17-05-2010, 05:49 PM
Ive gone and done it again.Monday 17th May 2010.Ive been heavily gambling all day,went in the bookies from 12pm until they had bled me dry at 4pm.Lost every single penny I had,again.Lost an absolute fortune,thousands that will now take me another year to pay back,if I dont gamble in that time.Highly unlikely.
I have been down this road on over 200 times in the last 20 years.I knew exactly what the outcome would be,but still did it.Now Im lying here,with my legs buckled,my chest hurts from stress,hopefully I will not wake up in the morning and the nightmare of this so called life will be over.The bookies wont get any more from me then,it will be the next victim.I havent got any fight left in me to even attend a meeting,because what is the point,I will never beat the disease,Im doomed until I die.The sooner the better.I am Andy a compulsive gambler and loser.
I have been down this road on over 200 times in the last 20 years.I knew exactly what the outcome would be,but still did it.Now Im lying here,with my legs buckled,my chest hurts from stress,hopefully I will not wake up in the morning and the nightmare of this so called life will be over.The bookies wont get any more from me then,it will be the next victim.I havent got any fight left in me to even attend a meeting,because what is the point,I will never beat the disease,Im doomed until I die.The sooner the better.I am Andy a compulsive gambler and loser.