19-05-2010, 01:37 PM
hi all
ive posted on here several times in the past about how i want to change and sadly cant manage it alone ive done the whole ban my accounts for a while then go back thinking this time lol i win big i have had bigish wins over the last 3-4 years ive been gambling but never enuff
i mostly play online bingo ,scratch cards etc its like i loose put more on then forever chasing losses thkning this time il re-coup well its got to the point now where im hundreds over my over draft and bank charges accumulating my hubby knows i gamble but at present he doesnt know how mad ive gone.. im always letting him down etc were meant to be moving in june and still are as his dads lending us the money but my wages will now go on overdraft charges etc i hate myself with a passion im a sad pathetic looser on all levels of life i often think why not just end it all and have done with it i dont think i can live with constant torture in my head all the time but i have 2 beautifull kids who deserve better, before i found gambling i was relitivily happy i just wish i could go back to those days its like im never gonna get better
part of me wants to blurt it all out to my hubby them tell him to take control of my finances but it means dissapointing him agian im really considering going to a ga meeting tonight
im 27 and dont wanan live with this misery anymore my dad suffers with mental healht issues bipolar/cyclothemia/border line schizophreina i cant help but think im gonna end up like him its like its already started
anywayz thanks for reading if u get to the bottom x
ive posted on here several times in the past about how i want to change and sadly cant manage it alone ive done the whole ban my accounts for a while then go back thinking this time lol i win big i have had bigish wins over the last 3-4 years ive been gambling but never enuff
i mostly play online bingo ,scratch cards etc its like i loose put more on then forever chasing losses thkning this time il re-coup well its got to the point now where im hundreds over my over draft and bank charges accumulating my hubby knows i gamble but at present he doesnt know how mad ive gone.. im always letting him down etc were meant to be moving in june and still are as his dads lending us the money but my wages will now go on overdraft charges etc i hate myself with a passion im a sad pathetic looser on all levels of life i often think why not just end it all and have done with it i dont think i can live with constant torture in my head all the time but i have 2 beautifull kids who deserve better, before i found gambling i was relitivily happy i just wish i could go back to those days its like im never gonna get better
part of me wants to blurt it all out to my hubby them tell him to take control of my finances but it means dissapointing him agian im really considering going to a ga meeting tonight
im 27 and dont wanan live with this misery anymore my dad suffers with mental healht issues bipolar/cyclothemia/border line schizophreina i cant help but think im gonna end up like him its like its already started
anywayz thanks for reading if u get to the bottom x