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my story
Hi, I'm 28 yrs old and have been gambling in some form from around the age of 14, dazzled by the bright lights of bandits or simple coin flipping games. I would think nothing of losing the money I had worked all week for in a matter of minutes. On nights out at the weekend, when i started working, i would spend all night on the bandits to the annoyance of my friends and my then girlfriend, lying about the amounts i won and asking them to lend me money constantly. I look back now in embarrassment and disgust with how i treated them and how i took them for granted, mad when they refused to lend me more money when i was convinced the next spin would get me back even. It brings tears to my eyes when i think how many times my loving mum has bailed me out and the amount of times i have used her leniency to my advantage. I'm a constant disappoinment to myself and the people close to me. I hate the person i have become. I don't gamble every day - i never have. My problem is when i do gamble, i cant stop.I discovered online roulette and could gamble in my own home, away from the embarrassment i felt whilst losing in front of others. To start with i won big - weekends away and designer clothes. I saw how happy this made her and when i lost, i tried justifying the gambling by reminding her of the good times we had, resenting her for been ungrateful. I know now that they are the classic signs: blaming others and trying to justifying my actions. I decided not to be completely honest about the amounts i'd lost or borrowed from my mum to replace money from my account, lying to the person i love and who trusted me with her heart. It brings tears to my eyes now when i see her lovingly smile at me, knowing she doesnt know the true person i am - she trusts me completely. I've now accepted i have a problem - maybe i've always known, but its only now i truly want to tackle this evil 'illness' before it ruins my life and i lose the ones i hold close to me. I've read the other posts and i realise i'm lucky enough to have people around me to help and i'm truly blessed for that. i know its not going to be easy but i'll take it one day at a time. They say admission is the hardest part. Reading other peoples' stories and relating to others helped me realise my problems and i thank you all for sharing.

Messages In This Thread
my story - by crada - 30-05-2010, 05:11 PM
Re: my story - by Guest - 31-05-2010, 10:48 AM
Re: my story - by crada - 01-06-2010, 02:14 PM
Re: my story - by Guest - 02-06-2010, 11:34 AM
Re: my story - by crada - 22-06-2010, 11:02 PM
Re: my story - by Guest - 23-06-2010, 09:55 AM

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