06-07-2010, 05:21 AM
Hello,
I am a compulsive gambler.
Its sad (but also a relief) to say, I have finally hit rock bottom (this morning). The recent phase (last four months) has been painful but (after losing more money to the extent that I cannot afford to lose any more) I now have to acknowledge my problem and draw a line so that I can salvage my life (and that of my family) as best as I can.
Gambling is a disease that consumes me. I derive no benefit from it. It starts off with greed - trying to make a little money that would not necessarily change my life. Before I know it, I have lost the initial money and then start gambling larger amounts in the hope of getting my money back.
I have gambled on/off over the last 12 years. Over the past couple of years (two major phases), it has become progressively worse. I never saw it as a disease and that it could impact me the way it has - I was wrong. Seriously wrong.
I always said to myself that I would not get into debt over gambling. The gambling started with savings. However, this was not the case and it very quickly spiralled out of control. After hitting rock bottom in the first phase, I had built up debts over my credit card. After hitting rock bottom in the second phase (the current situation), I have built up debts to the taxman as well.
Inbetween the two phases, I did attend GA and it helped. I did not attend as much as I should have. I thought I was strong enough to cope. I was wrong. I wish I had persevered with dialogue with GA. Going on this website, reading the stories, typing this post has made me realise that it is extremely hard (and also not healthy) to keep the disease to yourself and that communicating with other people who can relate to it is a strong medicine in helping to combat it. I did stop gambling (for a period) but then after a period of six months or so, picked it back up (concluding with the second phase).
Gambling is a disease that can impact anyone. To other people, I would appear to be intelligent and successful at in my job. I am married and have recently experienced the birth of my first child (this was a significant positive in my recent woes). THIS DOES NOT MATTER. Gambling can consume anyone. Very few people would suspect I gamble let alone the extent. On the outside, you would not suspect I was consumed by this disease.
Gambling progressively eats away at you - not only financially but emotionally as well. You are always praying for hope and that things will turn around for you - it rarely does and on the odd instance it does, I have only found it to be temporary. I should be helping my wife around the house more but feel physically drained due tothe constant thought of gambling.
I feel much better having made this posting. I hope I can turn my life around. I have so much to look forward - especially my wife and my baby daughter. I should focus my efforts on them (and also my own life) and not on gambling.
I am a compulsive gambler.
I am a compulsive gambler.
Its sad (but also a relief) to say, I have finally hit rock bottom (this morning). The recent phase (last four months) has been painful but (after losing more money to the extent that I cannot afford to lose any more) I now have to acknowledge my problem and draw a line so that I can salvage my life (and that of my family) as best as I can.
Gambling is a disease that consumes me. I derive no benefit from it. It starts off with greed - trying to make a little money that would not necessarily change my life. Before I know it, I have lost the initial money and then start gambling larger amounts in the hope of getting my money back.
I have gambled on/off over the last 12 years. Over the past couple of years (two major phases), it has become progressively worse. I never saw it as a disease and that it could impact me the way it has - I was wrong. Seriously wrong.
I always said to myself that I would not get into debt over gambling. The gambling started with savings. However, this was not the case and it very quickly spiralled out of control. After hitting rock bottom in the first phase, I had built up debts over my credit card. After hitting rock bottom in the second phase (the current situation), I have built up debts to the taxman as well.
Inbetween the two phases, I did attend GA and it helped. I did not attend as much as I should have. I thought I was strong enough to cope. I was wrong. I wish I had persevered with dialogue with GA. Going on this website, reading the stories, typing this post has made me realise that it is extremely hard (and also not healthy) to keep the disease to yourself and that communicating with other people who can relate to it is a strong medicine in helping to combat it. I did stop gambling (for a period) but then after a period of six months or so, picked it back up (concluding with the second phase).
Gambling is a disease that can impact anyone. To other people, I would appear to be intelligent and successful at in my job. I am married and have recently experienced the birth of my first child (this was a significant positive in my recent woes). THIS DOES NOT MATTER. Gambling can consume anyone. Very few people would suspect I gamble let alone the extent. On the outside, you would not suspect I was consumed by this disease.
Gambling progressively eats away at you - not only financially but emotionally as well. You are always praying for hope and that things will turn around for you - it rarely does and on the odd instance it does, I have only found it to be temporary. I should be helping my wife around the house more but feel physically drained due tothe constant thought of gambling.
I feel much better having made this posting. I hope I can turn my life around. I have so much to look forward - especially my wife and my baby daughter. I should focus my efforts on them (and also my own life) and not on gambling.
I am a compulsive gambler.