29-07-2010, 03:03 AM
You are a brave man for putting this on the forum, as you have more or less relented all of your feelings and that is a good thing.
The thing that made me smile the most was the fact that you realise already that it is the lying that hurts your wife more than anything. Believe me, as a compulsive gambler, your loved ones care about this more than anything. Debts can be repaid but lying can't be undone. You will have to live with this and rebuild your wife's trust.
You have identified that gambling has you licked (seemingly) and that you can't continue the way you are right now and this is a good thing. My suggestion would be to get to your local GA meeting (forget the 30 mile trip - it will cost you a lot more if you don't go) and listen to the people there. There is nothing that you have done that the people at the meeting won't be able to relate to. You will feel at home (for once) and you will feel secure for once in your life. I felt this at my first GA meeting; it made me feel that I wasn't the only person in the world with this illness.
You definitely have the right attitude to give up gambling (from what I see on here) and I wish you the best of luck in your journey to sobriety. Just remember how you felt when you lost everything when you were gambling and also think of your poor lady wife who has stuck by you even though you have done this to her. I really do hope you succeed.
Best of luck,
Edi
The thing that made me smile the most was the fact that you realise already that it is the lying that hurts your wife more than anything. Believe me, as a compulsive gambler, your loved ones care about this more than anything. Debts can be repaid but lying can't be undone. You will have to live with this and rebuild your wife's trust.
You have identified that gambling has you licked (seemingly) and that you can't continue the way you are right now and this is a good thing. My suggestion would be to get to your local GA meeting (forget the 30 mile trip - it will cost you a lot more if you don't go) and listen to the people there. There is nothing that you have done that the people at the meeting won't be able to relate to. You will feel at home (for once) and you will feel secure for once in your life. I felt this at my first GA meeting; it made me feel that I wasn't the only person in the world with this illness.
You definitely have the right attitude to give up gambling (from what I see on here) and I wish you the best of luck in your journey to sobriety. Just remember how you felt when you lost everything when you were gambling and also think of your poor lady wife who has stuck by you even though you have done this to her. I really do hope you succeed.
Best of luck,
Edi