11-09-2010, 12:54 PM
Hi,
I just need some advice, I don't know where to start...maybe when I was 4 years old when my mother finally decided and plucked up the courage to leave my dad as she realised he was a compulsive gambler and could not put up with him anymore as he would gamble every penny away even the baby milk money. So she thought she would be better off without him and she was right.
Anyway since then (now I am 31 years old) he has come to find us 3 times and each time my mum kicked him out because of his problem. He would steal from my mother each time and lie to her for money.
So the last time was when I was 17 years old, he was with us for about 2 years and then he stealed again from my mother and we kicked him out and then he never got in touch with us again. Then last year I was getting married and my mother decided to get in touch with him and asked me if I would like to invite him to my wedding and I said if you want to mother. So she did and he attended my wedding. That was fine as I only did it to please my mum. Then he stayed with my mum for half a year and he left again.
Then early this year he had an illness and ended up in hospital for 3 months and could not work and got in touch with us again. He is old now and no one will employ him and now that he is ill too I feel as his daughter I should look after him even though he has not been a father to me. He is now better and has asked me to lend him cash as he has no money as he has not been working so he needs it to tide him over until he finds a job. However, I do not trust him. Will he just gamble it all away in an hour at the casino and then ask me for more money the next day? I do not want to end up in the same situation as my mother, in a vicious circle. He lies a lot and makes you feel bad. You forgive him, take him back, and he lies again and we end up kicking him out again. He needs to gamble every day and wants to gamble every penny away or he gets moody and mental.
What should I do? Lend him the money or not?
Thanks
I just need some advice, I don't know where to start...maybe when I was 4 years old when my mother finally decided and plucked up the courage to leave my dad as she realised he was a compulsive gambler and could not put up with him anymore as he would gamble every penny away even the baby milk money. So she thought she would be better off without him and she was right.
Anyway since then (now I am 31 years old) he has come to find us 3 times and each time my mum kicked him out because of his problem. He would steal from my mother each time and lie to her for money.
So the last time was when I was 17 years old, he was with us for about 2 years and then he stealed again from my mother and we kicked him out and then he never got in touch with us again. Then last year I was getting married and my mother decided to get in touch with him and asked me if I would like to invite him to my wedding and I said if you want to mother. So she did and he attended my wedding. That was fine as I only did it to please my mum. Then he stayed with my mum for half a year and he left again.
Then early this year he had an illness and ended up in hospital for 3 months and could not work and got in touch with us again. He is old now and no one will employ him and now that he is ill too I feel as his daughter I should look after him even though he has not been a father to me. He is now better and has asked me to lend him cash as he has no money as he has not been working so he needs it to tide him over until he finds a job. However, I do not trust him. Will he just gamble it all away in an hour at the casino and then ask me for more money the next day? I do not want to end up in the same situation as my mother, in a vicious circle. He lies a lot and makes you feel bad. You forgive him, take him back, and he lies again and we end up kicking him out again. He needs to gamble every day and wants to gamble every penny away or he gets moody and mental.
What should I do? Lend him the money or not?
Thanks