29-09-2010, 04:43 AM
Broken 29. Hi I just read your story, my life kind of mirrors yours. I contemplated suicide numerous times, I also lost someone I loved very deeply through gambling. My message is not to go into all of that. Im 34 four years without a bet and when I was 29 I was in the same situation as you as the time scale suits. What I will say is you have a serious problem not only with your emotions but also with gambling (I had the same) what i did was drastic beyond contemplation (so wont go there), my ex knew about GA, I was attending but she dropped me like a lead balloon to live a happier life. The fellowship of men and women that come together is not always a miracle cure for all, it wasnt for me, I had tonnes of emotional insecurity, unsolvable problems but they were magnified by gambling, but it started the proccess of me becoming an honest person. You need to do what i did and say what is gone is gone, to coin a phrase from Bruce Almighty "you cannot mess with free will" and start life from today again. I write with upmost sincerity in this, I now have a business, im happy and I have met someone new who I can love again, its been nearly four years since I bet, i will not say that its been easy, no way but the reason I say is when you dont gamble you win, now I realise after 14years of misery how life can be hard but you can succeed. you need to put all into perspective, your 29, still young and you have a lot of life to lead. Go to a meeting, seek as much advice as you can and find that inner strength to beat this....