28-10-2010, 12:52 PM
HI everyone,
I cant beleive i am doing this i know i have a problem with gambling and its like im living 2 lives, the deceptive gambler and the nice young girl who respects her parents and friends and would do anything for them . The truth is i am like Jekyl and Hyde. My intentions are always just to have £a small bet on an online slot machine but it never ever works that way. Today i went online and won a large amount and i withdrew it all straight away and i was buzzing, but then i noticed the option to reverse the funds so bit by bit it all went back in and i lost - what a tit!
I have just broken my leg and im finding 8 hours of the day due to bordem i am sat in front of a machine gambling, even when i have ran out of money i play the machines for fun. Just sat in the same position for 8 hours, i have just realised i wouldnt even go to the toilet coz it means i would of had to stop. how pathetic is that?
What makes all of this seem stupid to me is that i have worked really hard through school, university and at work to strive for the best, i am a complete hypocrite. I am constantly lying and lending money from my mum who is the loveliest lady in the world, its making me so depressed to think about what i am doing to her, she is juggling money around so she doesnt have to tell my dad, but im lying to her saying ive been mugged, or lost my money, its a different excuse every weekend. Up to date i owe about a lot of money and i know this has to stop, if i had one wish it would be for will power.
I would love some counselling, i went to one session but then stopped coz i had to travel, does anyone know of any online counselling that would be beneficial?
I cant beleive i am doing this i know i have a problem with gambling and its like im living 2 lives, the deceptive gambler and the nice young girl who respects her parents and friends and would do anything for them . The truth is i am like Jekyl and Hyde. My intentions are always just to have £a small bet on an online slot machine but it never ever works that way. Today i went online and won a large amount and i withdrew it all straight away and i was buzzing, but then i noticed the option to reverse the funds so bit by bit it all went back in and i lost - what a tit!
I have just broken my leg and im finding 8 hours of the day due to bordem i am sat in front of a machine gambling, even when i have ran out of money i play the machines for fun. Just sat in the same position for 8 hours, i have just realised i wouldnt even go to the toilet coz it means i would of had to stop. how pathetic is that?
What makes all of this seem stupid to me is that i have worked really hard through school, university and at work to strive for the best, i am a complete hypocrite. I am constantly lying and lending money from my mum who is the loveliest lady in the world, its making me so depressed to think about what i am doing to her, she is juggling money around so she doesnt have to tell my dad, but im lying to her saying ive been mugged, or lost my money, its a different excuse every weekend. Up to date i owe about a lot of money and i know this has to stop, if i had one wish it would be for will power.
I would love some counselling, i went to one session but then stopped coz i had to travel, does anyone know of any online counselling that would be beneficial?