02-11-2010, 09:39 AM
I donno if I should be writing this here but I donno what else to do ....... i am the wife of a compulsive gambler and to be honest i have had enough of it !!!
He has admitted it and is attending meetings approx 9 mths now.
We r together approx 15 yrs and i have watched going from being the most wonderful man who i didnt want to be apart from for 1 min, hence i married him!!, to being the most awful moodiest person i know, to the point i dread coming home from work
The 1st month of going to the meeting was like living with the 'Brady Bunch', it was like having my old husband back again ....... but it went down hill each week there on !! slipping back into the spontanous moods that kick of for zero reason !!
i have jus learnt to live with the grumpyness and put up with always being blamed for his crap life !!
On Friday past i extended r loan to consolidate every debt in the hse to 1 managable figure , therefore from friday we were financially sound, although he doesnt see that the debt arose from his gambling cos they were apparently my fault cos i didnt manage the money properly , when actually i was putting santa, groceries, fuel, baby stuff on credit card cos he wud never hand over enough of his wages to cover the bills.
but i have had enough, last week i said that was it, i have had it with his moods and the way he treats me, asked him honestly & calmly how much more did he think i cud mentally take - his reply was an apology and to be honest, the best weekend i have had in years...... no rows r cross words and went out for a romantic meal which he rang and booked and he organised a babysitter !!! it was Brill and i told him yesterday morning (monday) that it was the best weekend !!!
then i came home from work (same day) and he told me he had got a tip and come, took money from the grocery fund and stuck it on - and guess what - it lost !!!!
When he started the meeting I had to take full control of the money and i gave him a small amout for an 'eat out ' lunch once a week , but he also told me he used to keep all these wee bits of money and gamble them too.
The only reason i kept a grocery fund in the hse was cos i was sick of him tormenting me that he never had any money, so if bread & milk etc was needed there was money there!!!
But i got paid at the weekend and i cleared out my purse yesterday morning and there was a good bit more in the drawer than usual !!
i feel so damn cheated , cos i was doing everything he wanted , i suppoprted his meetings, told him daily i was there for him if he needed me, put up with his tantrums when he gave off, cos he was a grown man and didnt have any money in his pocket from day 2 day !!!!!!
How much if enough to take as a wife of a gambler, and where is the line between being a supporter and a mug !!!
I apologise in advance if i have come accross as a selfish git but apparently i cant express any of this to him because as he reminds me everyday , 'no matter how bad i feel , he feels a million times worse' therefore closing the door 4 me to talk to him !!!
Should i take out 2 kids and leave him at it, im only in my very early 30's and really do think i will end up in the local nut hse if i stay here any longer ????
He has admitted it and is attending meetings approx 9 mths now.
We r together approx 15 yrs and i have watched going from being the most wonderful man who i didnt want to be apart from for 1 min, hence i married him!!, to being the most awful moodiest person i know, to the point i dread coming home from work
The 1st month of going to the meeting was like living with the 'Brady Bunch', it was like having my old husband back again ....... but it went down hill each week there on !! slipping back into the spontanous moods that kick of for zero reason !!
i have jus learnt to live with the grumpyness and put up with always being blamed for his crap life !!
On Friday past i extended r loan to consolidate every debt in the hse to 1 managable figure , therefore from friday we were financially sound, although he doesnt see that the debt arose from his gambling cos they were apparently my fault cos i didnt manage the money properly , when actually i was putting santa, groceries, fuel, baby stuff on credit card cos he wud never hand over enough of his wages to cover the bills.
but i have had enough, last week i said that was it, i have had it with his moods and the way he treats me, asked him honestly & calmly how much more did he think i cud mentally take - his reply was an apology and to be honest, the best weekend i have had in years...... no rows r cross words and went out for a romantic meal which he rang and booked and he organised a babysitter !!! it was Brill and i told him yesterday morning (monday) that it was the best weekend !!!
then i came home from work (same day) and he told me he had got a tip and come, took money from the grocery fund and stuck it on - and guess what - it lost !!!!
When he started the meeting I had to take full control of the money and i gave him a small amout for an 'eat out ' lunch once a week , but he also told me he used to keep all these wee bits of money and gamble them too.
The only reason i kept a grocery fund in the hse was cos i was sick of him tormenting me that he never had any money, so if bread & milk etc was needed there was money there!!!
But i got paid at the weekend and i cleared out my purse yesterday morning and there was a good bit more in the drawer than usual !!
i feel so damn cheated , cos i was doing everything he wanted , i suppoprted his meetings, told him daily i was there for him if he needed me, put up with his tantrums when he gave off, cos he was a grown man and didnt have any money in his pocket from day 2 day !!!!!!
How much if enough to take as a wife of a gambler, and where is the line between being a supporter and a mug !!!
I apologise in advance if i have come accross as a selfish git but apparently i cant express any of this to him because as he reminds me everyday , 'no matter how bad i feel , he feels a million times worse' therefore closing the door 4 me to talk to him !!!
Should i take out 2 kids and leave him at it, im only in my very early 30's and really do think i will end up in the local nut hse if i stay here any longer ????