08-11-2010, 05:21 AM
Hey T,
Let me just tell you my story as I think it may help a little with what your going through right now. I had a business that I was partners with my father, we got offered big money for this business, life changing money but at the time I couldnt get a grip of my gambling.
This business eventually was lost thanks to me, my self respect and family love was already shattered. Everyone loved me, my humour, my fun ways, there was a heap of caring inside me but there was one demon..the only one I needed to get wrid of to become a good person, respected and loved.
We have a saying "whats gone is gone" you cannot bring that back..you cannot put the savings back for your daughter but you can be a good mother and person again.
The end of my days was four years ago, the end of my gambling days that is and the start of a new better life. I cannot say i havent lost heaps of self respect and it still torments me but I have my family back, thinking im decent again.
You have to fight this, speak when spoken to, show the other side of you, the genuine side, your family do not understand what it is like to be a compulsive gambler, they never will but you will find over time they will come back and tell you they love you.
Mine have..its been nearly four years now, through very hard times but I have that fight that level of self respect back again.
Meetings are not designed to be fun, to make you happy they are a place in which you can share your thoughts with people who understand you and together you fight this demon.
its about day by day..yes your full of remorse...you know in your heart your a nice person..but you cannot change the damage all you can do is live today and ensure that the woman who was never ever returns.
Day by day step by step.....
Let me just tell you my story as I think it may help a little with what your going through right now. I had a business that I was partners with my father, we got offered big money for this business, life changing money but at the time I couldnt get a grip of my gambling.
This business eventually was lost thanks to me, my self respect and family love was already shattered. Everyone loved me, my humour, my fun ways, there was a heap of caring inside me but there was one demon..the only one I needed to get wrid of to become a good person, respected and loved.
We have a saying "whats gone is gone" you cannot bring that back..you cannot put the savings back for your daughter but you can be a good mother and person again.
The end of my days was four years ago, the end of my gambling days that is and the start of a new better life. I cannot say i havent lost heaps of self respect and it still torments me but I have my family back, thinking im decent again.
You have to fight this, speak when spoken to, show the other side of you, the genuine side, your family do not understand what it is like to be a compulsive gambler, they never will but you will find over time they will come back and tell you they love you.
Mine have..its been nearly four years now, through very hard times but I have that fight that level of self respect back again.
Meetings are not designed to be fun, to make you happy they are a place in which you can share your thoughts with people who understand you and together you fight this demon.
its about day by day..yes your full of remorse...you know in your heart your a nice person..but you cannot change the damage all you can do is live today and ensure that the woman who was never ever returns.
Day by day step by step.....