09-04-2011, 10:34 PM
Hi everyone. Firstly daisychain, it is great that you can share what must be a very difficult story to tell in order to help others.
Now my opinion is that a compulsive gambler must not only seriously and honestly want to give up but also admit that they have no power over gambling. When someone relapses is it because they lack one of these ingredients? When someone is forced to go to GA then they may abstain for some time, but they rarely get into true recovery and so always get very strong temptations to go back there.
If anyoneâs partner is going to GA without fully committing to it, or even because they are being made to, then keep a VERY close eye on them, and do not place temptation in their way.
Now this may not be nice to hear, and really is just my opinion, but I do believe its true. For true recovery to happen it must be from free will that they come to GA. Without that you will always be battling with them as they battle against their compulsions.
GA rarely gives advice on any topic outside of the literature, but GA members can give their opinion. Whoever gave you the advice to take control of your finances was probably asking you to take away temptation from someone who will succumb to temptation otherwise and I think that was good advice. My wife has slowly given back limited control of our finances to me, but she always has the ability to look at my bank account and question me on what I have spent. That is sufficient for me now. It needed to be more in the early days, but I have earned at least some trust back now.
Whatever you do, protect yourself and your children financially and, as far as possible, emotionally and I really hope things get better for all of you over time - one day at a time.
My name is Chris and I am a compulsive gambler.
Now my opinion is that a compulsive gambler must not only seriously and honestly want to give up but also admit that they have no power over gambling. When someone relapses is it because they lack one of these ingredients? When someone is forced to go to GA then they may abstain for some time, but they rarely get into true recovery and so always get very strong temptations to go back there.
If anyoneâs partner is going to GA without fully committing to it, or even because they are being made to, then keep a VERY close eye on them, and do not place temptation in their way.
Now this may not be nice to hear, and really is just my opinion, but I do believe its true. For true recovery to happen it must be from free will that they come to GA. Without that you will always be battling with them as they battle against their compulsions.
GA rarely gives advice on any topic outside of the literature, but GA members can give their opinion. Whoever gave you the advice to take control of your finances was probably asking you to take away temptation from someone who will succumb to temptation otherwise and I think that was good advice. My wife has slowly given back limited control of our finances to me, but she always has the ability to look at my bank account and question me on what I have spent. That is sufficient for me now. It needed to be more in the early days, but I have earned at least some trust back now.
Whatever you do, protect yourself and your children financially and, as far as possible, emotionally and I really hope things get better for all of you over time - one day at a time.
My name is Chris and I am a compulsive gambler.