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dont know what to do
Hi i have a gambling problem....... this is the first time i have ever admitted it to anybody.
I know i need to stop and i want to stop but i just dont know what to do in order to stop.
The thing is i gambled for leasure at first in the local pub on the fruit machines and then we went to our local bingo and they have a casino area there and got some new machines with a big jackpot...... i thought i would just try one and i won the jackpot which in my opinion was the worst thing that ever happened to me because the win was the seed of the major addiction that was to follow.
i have now ended up in a complete mess because i spent my rent and bill money ...... i was so upset i said i would never gamble again if i sorted it out with the money for rent and bills. so i lied and made some story up that i had my wallet stolen with all my money in and my dad bailed me out he gave me the money that i said was in the wallet so i could pay my rent and my bills.....i felt so happy and relieved, but that didnt last long.
i went with all the good intention, on the bus to town to pay my rent and bills, but i passed my local bingo hall where the casino area is where i won the jackpot and also where i lost it again and more besides.
for some stupid reason i went in just thinking i will only put a small ammont in and if i get a win that would be great i would buy my father a present for helping me out, but i lost and the more i lost the more i gambled to get it back and the more i tried the more i spent until it had all gone. i didnt even have the bus fare home so i had to walk for 2 hours just to get home.
when i got home i fell to the floor in floods of tears because the realisation of what i had done hit me. i didnt have the money for the bills or the rent and i dont have anybody else to turn to to bail me out.
so now i am at the stage where i cannot pay my rent i cant put any gas or electric on the prepayment metres and i dont have any food either, i know i have to never gamble again but i just dont know what i am going to do now about the rent and the gas and electric or food as i have no money at all left and no means to get any, i am a complete mess, i dont have any body to talk to at all, and i am supposed to be taking my daughter who is 6 out this weekend as me and her mum are seperated but i cant even take her anywhere, i cant even see her because i cant get to her i keep looking at her photo and crying thinking what a waste of space i am......if it wasnt for her i would have comitted suicide by now because i just dont know what im going to do .....


Messages In This Thread
dont know what to do - by dazzlet - 28-03-2011, 09:52 PM
Re: dont know what to do - by Barrieexgambler - 28-03-2011, 11:28 PM

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