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help me
#1
I am 22 and I suffer from the gambling 'disease' and have lost so much through it.
My story: At the age of 17 everyone in my area used to hang about at the local Coral. At first I never ever played, I saw too many people walk in with money and out with a headache and always used to think I would never be so loose with my money. And then one day, temptation took over and I began my dark descent. Well, as can be imagined, I was ecstatic and ended up spending all the money I had trying to feel that same buzz I did from the win. I wasn't working at the time so all my benefit money went into them machines, leaving me in countless debts with everyone from landlords to my family. I told lie after lie after lie, I had a beautiful fiancée who I put through hell. I never hid this from her totally, a couple of times she would come to the shop with me but would insist on leaving after losing a few pounds whereas I would stand there gambling until my pockets and bank account was completely empty. Suffice to say; eventually she left me with more than enough reasons. I was so hooked to them machines that I would spend my money, even steal hers on occasion, even though I knew she had to provide for her baby. I felt shallower and shallower as time went by and I stole more. I distanced myself from my family because I couldn't bring myself to look my mother in the eyes and tell her how I was spending money so quickly and where her money was going. She just thought of me, and still does, as a compulsive lying thief and now has nothing to do with me. So, now it's just me, myself and I. I feel so alone, the only people around me are the clowns that benefit from the once-in-a-blue-moon times when I would walk out with money and buy alcohol for everyone. Now, whilst reading this you might think I've lost more than enough to quit. I really want to but I don't know what the hell these demons dragging me through and why the hold is so strong. I've just came back from the local bookmakers to my workplace, and having just lost in the space of my one hour lunch break, I feel it's time to start putting my desire to quit into action. I can't keep living like this: Not eating properly for the whole month while I wait for my next pay check to come in, only to go and do the same thing again. I seriously need help, does anyone have any suggestions please because this is really ruining my life. I sit at night just contemplating the people I have lost and spend a lot of days chasing money I have lost. Please help?
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Messages In This Thread
help me - by Kash_Lost_Again - 28-04-2011, 04:36 PM
Re: help me - by Barrieexgambler - 28-04-2011, 11:56 PM
Re: help me - by 18 year old addict - 29-04-2011, 12:39 AM
Re: help me - by Guest - 29-04-2011, 11:41 AM

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