10-05-2011, 06:29 AM
I attended a GA meeting with my husband last night. He walked in so pompous - of course he is far superior than anyone there. There they all were - young, old, rich and poor - but all far superior to him as they were all honest.
I was invited to sit in with them -
John made me go in, I think to prove to me how his problems were nothing like the other members.
They ripped him apart, but with kindness - He cried and cried and then I left the room.
I was waiting outside, and during the break, several people came to offer me support. I talked of my hatred for him and no-one denied me the chance of that.
John remained inside with some others - this really suprised me as I thought he would have been the first one out of the door.
I was invited back in to listen in on how to deal with money - John agrees that I must have control over every penny.
I must get a safe or lockable money box and give him exactly what he needs for his petrol. He cannot even have lunch money, it must be sandwiches for work as he will gamble it and not eat.
At the end of the meeting, he was full of remorse and promises etc etc, but I do not want to listen to it anymore.
It will take more than one meeting, it will take a lifetime of meetings.
This morning he asked for some money for work with promises of bringing home receipts - well I don't hold out much hope.
It was good he hear when people last gambled - 9 months ago, 2 years ago and someone who has not gambled for 11 years but needs the meetings to keep him going - I really understand this, as they have a bond. Not a cult type thing, nor religeous, but strong friendships and support. Some discussing normal things like work and football.
I am finished here, but John now understands why. I cannot live with the options if he continues. I do not want to come home to find him hanging from the loft, badly beaten or put in prison.
One noticeable thing, when he left the meeting, the pompous scowling and filthy looks I have lived with for the last two years had gone. I am in no doubt this will return - but this meeting seemed to have brought something home for him.
I was invited to sit in with them -
John made me go in, I think to prove to me how his problems were nothing like the other members.
They ripped him apart, but with kindness - He cried and cried and then I left the room.
I was waiting outside, and during the break, several people came to offer me support. I talked of my hatred for him and no-one denied me the chance of that.
John remained inside with some others - this really suprised me as I thought he would have been the first one out of the door.
I was invited back in to listen in on how to deal with money - John agrees that I must have control over every penny.
I must get a safe or lockable money box and give him exactly what he needs for his petrol. He cannot even have lunch money, it must be sandwiches for work as he will gamble it and not eat.
At the end of the meeting, he was full of remorse and promises etc etc, but I do not want to listen to it anymore.
It will take more than one meeting, it will take a lifetime of meetings.
This morning he asked for some money for work with promises of bringing home receipts - well I don't hold out much hope.
It was good he hear when people last gambled - 9 months ago, 2 years ago and someone who has not gambled for 11 years but needs the meetings to keep him going - I really understand this, as they have a bond. Not a cult type thing, nor religeous, but strong friendships and support. Some discussing normal things like work and football.
I am finished here, but John now understands why. I cannot live with the options if he continues. I do not want to come home to find him hanging from the loft, badly beaten or put in prison.
One noticeable thing, when he left the meeting, the pompous scowling and filthy looks I have lived with for the last two years had gone. I am in no doubt this will return - but this meeting seemed to have brought something home for him.